Sunshine11

If she is absolutely the ONE for you, and you want this to work, I think you guys need to go to counseling. Make sure that you find a therapist that uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). It is one of the most successful types of couples therapy. She is very, very insecure. The child-like behavior is because she has not learned another way to deal with her emotions. Even if she is otherwise mature in other areas of her life, in situations where her emotions are triggered, she resorts back to how she was taught to deal with her emotions as a small child.

I know that there is a stigma on therapy, but there really shouldn’t be. It is just another person helping you work out these situations in an emotionally effective way instead of using the behaviors learned from childhood. EFT is successful 70 percent of the time when both of the partners are willing to participate. That is an extremely high success rate for couples therapy.

When I have the opportunity, I am absolutely going to do this type of therapy even in a relatively good relationship because it teaches you how to communicate emotions to your partner is a safe and effective way without resorting to the type of behavior your gf is showing, but it will NOT work without BOTH partners participating.

Maybe stop focusing on his actions so much. By doing this you are just building up more hurt and resentments for your self, and when you get back together, it will make it harder to trust him. Focus on forgiving him everyday for all of these things he is doing to you. Focus on trying to get your life together and not cataloging his daily behavior. I know how hard that it because you are just looking for any signs that everything is going to be okay in future. But you can really only do the best you can do today. He is going to do whatever it is he is going to do. This will even help you when you are back together and have little petty hurts and problems.

I wish that I could have been better at this when I was with my ex. There are things that I said and did that probably contributed to her losing attraction because I became insecure and starting watching every move she made around me. And I think that some of those times if I had just been kinder to her and forgave her. It just would have been better.

It is really up to whether you can handle it or not. I cannot handle the false friendship. I wish I could but I can’t normally. So, give it a try if you can handle it.

I don’t think it would hurt to meet with her to hear what she has to say. Did she request the meeting or did you?

Have you done no contact at all? Friends is risky. I am not one to be friends because it hurts me too badly, but I sometimes wonder if I were able to be friends if I would have a better chance to get back with my ex. I don’t know.

I think some no contact is good if you haven’t tried it at all.

I know that you it is very easy to think that you can show him you have changed by talking to him, but it really does help to take a break from talking to him. My ex before this current ex that I want to get back had a very similar situation to this one. And he would always tell me that he wanted me the most when he wanted to talk, but I was able to say no or was busy or whatever and didn’t talk to him. It does help create more attraction.

You are going to have to dig deep. You need to find some hope outside of him. I know that you want him back more than anything, but your source of hope cannot come from that being the only result. It will be okay. One way or another it will be okay. You need to find some source of support. A friend? Someone in your family? A church?

Aamls, this situation is changing day to day. I know you are tempted to do that, but you need to channel that love into something that will help you get back together with him. I really wouldn’t worry about your cousin. She is a rebound, and this is not permanent. You can do this.