Boards Reconciliation 3 months relationship, 2 months after breakup

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  • #15116
    Torma
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    I’ve already posted my story here. While originally I asked a question about No Contact, now I’d also like to ask how much chance do you see for getting back together with my ex after our 3-month-long relationship? The breakup happened 2 months ago, but I didn’t do No Contact. Do you think maybe too much time has passed and it became a hopeless case? She says she wants to be friends with me, and initially I thought to follow that path… but now I don’t think it was a good idea. What should I do to increase my chances?

    #15140
    Sunshine11
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    Have you done no contact at all? Friends is risky. I am not one to be friends because it hurts me too badly, but I sometimes wonder if I were able to be friends if I would have a better chance to get back with my ex. I don’t know.

    I think some no contact is good if you haven’t tried it at all.

    #15145
    Torma
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    I tried No Contact, but I failed it multiple times and ended up communicating and meeting her. I couldn’t decide if no contact or meeting as friends would help more, but now I see, keeping contact didn’t help. Recently, one of our common friends blew no contact, and now I offered her to meet again. Currently, I’m waiting for her to propose a time and place for our meeting. We would talk through her untold grievances. But I’m not sure if it would help the case. We’ve already talked a lot about our relationship, and I wonder if another talk would do anything better. (Though I don’t know of her untold grievances, and I’m curious, maybe I could explain them, which would probably help.) So I don’t know what to do when she’ll get back to me to arrange this meeting. Should I accept or refuse it? Or should I just postpone it with a month?

    The whole story is here:

    No Contact violated – What to do now?

    #15147
    Sunshine11
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    I don’t think it would hurt to meet with her to hear what she has to say. Did she request the meeting or did you?

    #15160
    Torma
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    Actually, it was my idea, but then she agreed. Maybe I shouldn’t have proposed it.
    It’s also an option that we could discuss it in e-mail. But I prefer to talk to her in person. She wants to write it down anyway, so even if we’d meet, she’d give me her list in written form, and I’d react to it in person.

    But previously we already had a big relationship talk in person. But now she would tell some of her grievances she haven’t told before for some reason. I don’t know if it would help or not. On the one hand, talking over her grievances would probably ease her, thus it could increase the likeliness of a later reconciliation. On the other hand, focusing on her grievances might induce negative thoughts about our relationship, which could stick with her. I’d like her to have positive memories about me and our relationship, as we had so many happy moments together! Also, if I meet her, the No Contact period resets, and I’d have to start it all over.

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