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I think you should wait a little bit for him to contact you. I think it might be fine for you to contact him, but I don’t think it would hurt to wait a bit. I wouldn’t worry about turning down the foot massage. I know you are a little disappointed, but if this continues to go well, then you will have other chances. This is very encouraging!! Yay!!
You have got to find a way to plan these activities with him for the sake of the kids.
Hi, aamls. Just let him be and create a life for you and your kids that you can enjoy. He is going to still need to help you with money and child support. I don’t know what kind of lawyer he had draw up the papers, but he should be paying something IF you do end up getting a divorce. You may want to have a lawyer of your own look at the papers that IF you end up signing them you know what is in there. I am not a legal professional. But I think you need one. I know that you don’t have a job or money, but there should be some way to get legal help for not much money. in your area. Ask at the library if they know of anything.
He definitely still has some feelings for you otherwise he wouldn’t be so emotional about this process. AS hard as it is for the kids, it is probably a good thing that he doesn’t want you going to stuff because that means it is hard for him to be around you. If he didn’t care, then it would be easy for him. And he wouldn’t care if you were there or not. You know what I mean?
Also, God can always restore a marriage. You shouldn’t be talking to your husband about being christian. You can talk to God about your husband.
You need to respect his wishes of no contact. At least for 30 days and maybe even longer. All hope is not lost, but it is going to take some time. Once I dated this guy, and he once said that he hated me and never wanted to talk to me again and wanted me to leave him along. We didn’t talk for 5 months. We ended up seeing each other for 2 more years after that. But notice how we had no contact for 5 months after he said that to me. There is hope, but you have to not talk to him.
@aamls Have you signed the divorce papers yet? If you haven’t then, he is cheating if he is still married to you even if you are separated.
This is so painful. And I know that the pain makes it hard and you do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do. But if he is over there or not over there, it really doesn’t matter. The thing that is going to want him to come back to you is time and healing and seeing you be the attractive woman you were when he fell in love with you.
Do you guys have plans for the birthday today?
I like to think that there is always hope of getting back someone you want more than anything. How did your friendship go? My ex wanted to be friends as we were friends before we dated, but I am in love with her so I just can’t stomach the thought of only being friends. I wish that I could because I miss her so much, and I almost wonder if I could rekindle interest better as friends, but I don’t know.
No contact will help you heal and help you decide if the relationship is something that you want.
I know that dating is supposed to help, but I just can’t see how it is fair to the other girls involved. In my last relationship before my current ex, I know one of the reasons it didn’t work is because we started dating before he was over his ex, so I could never really compare to her. And I have done it too, only I usually won’t go past 3 dates with someone I am not feeling it with especially if all I can think about is my ex. Finally, at the very end of our on-again/off-again relationship for of over six years, he told me that he wasn’t over his ex before me. But at the end he said he would choose me. It was too late though. Too much had happened. In his situation, he knew he wasn’t getting back together with her.
It is up to you, and I know it is really hard. And Kevin says going on dates with other people is part of the process. But sleeping with someone you don’t think is all that great compared to your ex, isn’t being very honest with that other person. And if you do get back with your ex, do you want to explain that you have been sleeping with other women?
If you really feel like the magic letter won’t work, then maybe try a different route. Or just do your best to heal and wait until you meet someone who your ex doesn’t even hold a candle to. Easier said than done. That is why we are here though.
I think ignore it too. It is really hard to tell if it were really an accident or an on purpose wrong text message. But I think silence sends the best message in this case.
I know it is better for me to do no contact. The only time I want to talk to her is if we are having a conversation about how she wants to get back together. I figure if she wants that then she will contact me. Otherwise, I am just doing my best.
I do want to hear from her, but it will hurt too badly for me to do a false friendship. If I could go back and only have a friendship with her, I would. But now I am in love with her. So no contact is best for me.
It is my responsibility to create a happy life for myself. I am still capable of doing that without her.
It can mean that, but it doesn’t have to mean that. The only problem with staying in love with someone is that you can’t fall in love with someone else. I feel like that is the problem with my ex. She was still in love with her ex even though they had been apart for 3 years, and it doesn’t look like they will be getting back together anytime soon. But she still talks to her every couple of months or so. They are still connected. In the end, while I think she was attracted to me and really liked me, I don’t think she could get over the final hurdle of falling in love with me because in someone’s emotional hierarchy there can only be one person at the top.
I heard Mike Tyson’s ex wife say in an interview that she was still in love with Mike Tyson, but she could no longer be with him because he was abusive. So she just had to love him from afar. I do think she went on to marry another person, but I could be wrong about that.
In the end, I am not really sure. I really fell in love with T. And I am hopeful that if she can figure out whatever she needs to figure out that it could work out in the future, but at the same time, if she feels that strongly about someone that she isn’t over them in 3 years, then I wish it would work out for her too.
I know a little about her ex, and I think I am a “better” choice. I am pretty, smart, educated, funny, and available. Her ex is married.
I think the best thing you can do is just feel whatever you feel. Just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be in a relationship with that person, even though it is very painful to not be.
I always like to hear from you @Travelbug. I think that no matter what Kevin says, you have to do your breakup your way.
I am having trouble deciding if my ex is capable of a relationship or if she just didn’t want one with me. I don’t know.
Sounds like you are doing pretty good considering.
That really hurts. I am sorry. I do think it is good that your friend stopped you from sending the email. Just feel what you feel. This is a very hard process to go through. Each step is like a fresh heart break, I think.
Maybe it is final, and maybe it isn’t. But I am coming to think that thinking it is final is better. If he really comes around in the future, you having moved on won’t stop him. Then you can decide what to do then.
You really, really need to leave him alone for a little while. He will come around eventually to talk to you, but the more you do this, the harder it will be.
Yeah, it is really tough to deal with when they want someone else. But there really is no way to convince someone when she wants someone else. As hard as it is, I think you need to step back. Unless you want to just stay friends with her? But then it will be hard to get out of that friendship only spot.
