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I think it sounds like you are doing everything right. I don’t think it is too soon for a false friendship. Especially since you are long distance now. And you had a talk about how everything is going.
Who knows? Maybe in the future you will end up close to one another again. That happened to my sister. She dated this guy how moved several states away, and eventually, they broke up because of the distance.
Then she found a job in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Then that same guy moved to the small town RIGHT NEXT to the town where my sister lived. They ended up going on a few dates and a trip, but ultimately, they didn’t get back together. But you never know what could happen in the future.
I really wish I had the internal strength to stay friendly with my ex. I would actually really love to be friends with her. I just don’t think I can stomach hearing if she started seeing someone new.
Good luck, Travelbug!
I honestly don’t know, but I do think it is possible to get him back if you are able to concentrate on yourself for a while. You need a break from this daily sadness of seeing him.
It could have been in a friendly matter. Sometimes in families it is just friendly. He probably didn’t mean it bad that he didn’t want to have to come back.
Maybe giving up is a good thing? Just for right now? I know that it is so hard to think that way because you want him so badly, but maybe if you give up, you can really concentrate on doing what you need to do for you. Then when your energy shifts towards you, you will notice a difference in his energy towards you.
I think it is very disrespectful they way he and your oldest are laughing at you. It is probably best to just not react to it, but he should at least respect you as the mother of his children.
I don’t know. I am in a long distance situation, but we are already broken up. “Death’s door.” Most of my friends have been advising me to just move on because they don’t see how it is possible since she lives so far away. About 7 hours by car. But I don’t want to move on because I love her.
This plan did work for a co-worker of mine. She did no contact for 46 days. Then sent a positive text. They texted for a week, and then had lunch. They got back together at lunch. He even had a rebound that he had been dating during no contact that he was going to end it with because he didn’t have as much of a connection with her than with my co-worker.
@Travelbug It sounds like you are on your way to moving on in a healthy way. I do think the orgasm information might have been hurtful. I know it does feel good to hurt someone who hurt you.
I know how tempting it is when you know passwords, but it really isn’t good for you emotionally. You usually only find out things you shouldn’t know. It is really best to just let it go. I know how hard that is. I do, but you really should concentrate on you right now. And not worry about her.
No contact is the way to go here.
I think that everything sounds like it is going really well. Just take things slow, and be happy. You can do this!
I think that is the hardest part about all of this is that there is so little we can do in terms of our ex. That is why it is so important to focus on ourselves. So hard though.
I don’t know whether you should move on or not, the thing is, you can only move on when you are ready to move on. Not sooner.
Yesterday, I posted a success story under the title success story. It is a woman that I work with who got back with an ex after 46 days No Contact, and he dated another woman in the interim. So, people do get back together sometimes.
Aamls, if you feel like medication would help your depression, you should try to get it. But sometimes it is really hard to think you will have to take this medicine forever. So, I would suggest doing natural depression remedies such as exercise and sunshine. You might want to look into your Vitamin D levels as well and maybe try a supplement. Try those first, especially if you are worried about insurance. Also, if you are still married, I would try to stay on your husband insurance as long as possible. I think that is terrible he is trying to get you off of it.
I know that you love your husband and your kids. Being a happy family together is best for everyone in my opinion. But you CAN have a full and good life without him. I know that is hard to hear when ALL you want in the whole world is to have him back. You have been very generous here on the boards, so I know that you have lots of good qualities.
Ok. I know this is very emotional, but you have a remain calm and collected when you talk to him. Light and breezy even. I know that that is almost impossible, but it really is the best way.
Give him some space. Have you don’t any NC? If not, do some NC. Then send him a light breezy text message. Oh, and you will need to talk about positive things happening in your life.
Are you sure you want him back? I think you should just ask him to get back. Calmly and flirt a little. Don’t beg. See what happens.
Honestly, I have no idea what he is thinking, but we need to get your spirits lifted. Do you remember how you were before the kids and when you first got married? Maybe try to think back to that woman and get some of her back.
I don’t think the Thanksgiving invite is pity. It might be a little bit, but I think having Thanksgiving with him and the kids and his other family will be a good opportunity to demonstrate how well YOU are doing. Keep your spirits up, and go have a great Thanksgiving. If he is an ass at Thanksgiving, then just act like you could care less.
You keep saying you miss him. And I totally feel you there. I miss my ex too so much, and here is the thing… There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are allowed to miss him, but don’t let missing him take over your whole life. When that thought comes to you, “I miss him so much.” Just say to yourself, yes, I do miss him. Then do something else. Then the thought will come again like every 5 seconds. Just keep missing him and choosing to do something else.
This is someone very important to you. Never feel like you can’t miss him and love him. What you do is in your control. There is always a possibility that you won’t get back together. But it is also possible that you definitely will get back together. No one can predict which will happen. All you can do is love him, miss him, and LIVE your life as your awesome self. If he doesn’t choose you, then he makes bad choices.
