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i dunno if wouldnt have worked either way. let me know what you guys think.
8 day in after not talking after we broke up,
I sent her that email about how i accepted the break up (i do)
and that im sorry for the things i did after the break up (i am)
and that very good things are happening in my life right now (they are)
and i reminded her about an antique tea set we both had that might get thrown out as its in storage.she sent back to me, “please never message me again”
to which i responded, “dont be like that. are you angry at me?! what about the stuff you have of mine?”
to which she replied, “I’m not angry. I just don’t care anymore. what happened that night completely ended any form of us makig things better, even being friends. You can have your stuff back mum said she will drop it round. I don’t want to be around somebody like you. You’re a mean nasty person.”
to which i said, “Okay I can understand that. I know i acted appallingly.. Please understand why I behaved like I did. I said and did some strong things I know I shouldnt have because of how strongly I felt. I was very emotional. I know its no excuse but i guess i saw that as the end right there and then. you said you couldnt be friends with me if we ever broke up. I wish I could change what happened that night I really do. I wish I took a page out of my own book and acted like a mature man. You know I’m not normally like that. At all! in all the time youve know me, have I ever done anything like that? 🙁 you know as well as i do everyone has that capacity for nastiness if something means that much to them. Im not mean and nasty, you know me, you know that. If thats what you want to think then okay, i accept that. But you want to discard me and countless amazing times because of one time I acted terribly when the worst possible thing i could imagine was going on?
I know what i did was emotionally terrible and thats exactly what you didnt need right now. I wish i could just hold you like i used to and caress your face. I loved caring about you. I know we both acted immature and spiteful in our relationship and i realise now thats what killed it. I should have just let you love me, not worrying about anything else and just enjoy being in love.
I know you don’t want to hear it but its just so sad whats happened to our friendship. but you know that. I know I cant change anything but everything thing weve been through together means so much to me. and I know you want to just forget it all, i really dont blame you. I dont expect anything from you, to accept my apology, to be friends or even talk. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry. I want you to know im not going to let it happen again, with anyone. I want to be a better person. You helped me a lot with that. Thank you for everything really, youve meant a lot to me. So much and thats why I acted how i did.
I know ive caused you more stress than you need and I know Im doing that now. Im sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry if im doing that now. I hope everything works out for you I really do, you deserve the best, dont ever forget it. You are the most amazing person Ive ever met. Thank you for all the amazing times and memories, they will be cherished.
I know you dont want to read all these words, especially from me. I just really hope everything we had and been through together means as much to you as it does to me. I will miss you.
Tell your mum thank you for that. Hows this going to work? I dont suppose youd give me my ring back? it did mean a lot to me. Its okay if you dont want to. it is yours after all.
sorry about all the writing -.- i really am. I dont want make your life harder, ive always wanted to make it easier, better, interesting and fun. I do love you. even if its not in love, or not matter how far away you are, you will always have a very special place in my heart.
all the best darling”
to which she replied, “Just go away.”
to which i replied, “Sorry i hurt you. Ill leave you be. Let me know whats happening with my stuff. i need some things for the interview with asc/mta
take care of yourself please”
what do you guys think? am i screwed in getting her to want to be my friend again?
we have a long history, 5 years of being best best friends. literally nothing to hide from each other. probably why our relationship was so hard.she saw her ex right after we broke up and i got pretty angry and said some horrible things to her (that she really cares about but what i said wasnt true) and i called the police out of spite (her ex is a crackhead).. i know i did dumb things but surely you guys understand how i feel. what i did doesnt warrant that kind of responce does it?
Just apply no contact, she sounds like part of her does still live you but she is convincing herself she doesn’t and doesn’t want to be with you. By contacting her constantly and in depth and getting jealous that all comes across needy and smothering to the space she needs to sort her own head out. Sounds like she had no idea what is going on in her head and you need to give her time ALONE to really start to miss you. As for the ex, she is only with him because she is subconsciously trying anything to distract herself from the pain. Just act cool and ride it out. She will be back the anger shows there is still so much emotion towards you
Hope this helped
Wthank you for your reply. youre probably right. and it probably is the best thing to do. im just so tempted to send her another message. not now. i dunno when. but reminding her of all the good times we had together. or should i just wait indefinitely until she contacts me? or is that too hard to tell because every situation is different? i want to thank everyone on this board. this website is truly amazing and im glad it exists.
Don’t be upset…NC is the best thing which we can do because pleading,begging and all is not gona work out for them..am telling with my example,I tried everything,I begged him,made him remember each and everything but no change…let them miss us…they will be back…it may take a month or two..but if someone loves truely from heart,some how they will come back to us,and one more thing eventhough we loves them so much and got hurt soo much,,,god is there to find all these pain,he will make them realise soon,and they will come back to us,if they are not coming back and not understandng our pain even aftr bcmng a btrhalf….then for sure its their loss…and after few months,,believe in god,,there will be someone in our life who will love us so much and within few months from then we will slowly forget evrything…believe in god…he does miracles….dont worry…life wont end with a single person,,,am in 23rd day of no contact…and you cant imagine the pain am suffering…but now am taking a deep breath while thinkng of him,,
Am praying god for my betterhalf to coneback soon..my love ….i will also pray for you….
thank you very much for your words of encouragement. guess i know deep down sending her a message again would make things worse. i do thank god everyday for these wonderful experiences, youre very right! i got bad after a week of not talking, can only imagine how you must feel. god bless you.
Pain is there deep inside heart…but it doesn’t mean that we should live our life with sorrows,there are many faces who loves us soo much,,,for now we will remember them and will conc on ourslf
i did something i shouldnt have done.. i logged onto her emails. i didnt know i knew her password. i thought she would have deleted the series of emails we sent. shes also signed up for a dating site (she went back to her ex right after we broke up. dunno as friends or what) so i think thats a good sign shes at least not interested in her ex and/or she wants to find what WE had again.
what do you guys think?
You definitely need to give her lots of space right now. she needs to forget the pain and the anger. after 30 days, you could always contact her to see how she is going. make it simple no more words. she knows how you feel and everything you have said. you have made it very clear how much you love her.
RE the emails. you should NOT go back in again. it is a huge invasion of trust and if she ever knew i doubt your chances of getting back together would be great.
Just TRUST in the plan. keep going. I’m in day 18. its tough. highs and lows. but you have to TRUST that it will be okay in the end. 5 years is a long time.
Yeah she definitely wouldnt like it if she knew i did that now.. there was a reason i knew her passwords though.. we used to share everything, we used to go through each others stuff like facebook and each others phones.. we were both scared of losing each other to someone else… it was so weird really, i know we both should have trusted each other more but we trusted each other enough to let each other go through our stuff..
I think the best course here is to apply NC. She’s by now used to you contacting her that it may be irritating her. The NC may feel like forever but it has to be done. Don’t try looking her up because it will hurt and discourage you more if you see her with someone else. I know that’s how I would feel. I would wait 30 and maybe more days until contacting her again. Make her miss you. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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