hes cheating on me with my cousin. ugh :'(

I have been going to almost everyone seeking advise and they all say your gonna have to accept it and let it go. I guess they dont want me to hurt anymore. they say or think im hurting myself and they also think its fucked up on both of their parts. Idk what to do anymore. I feel like im going to go crazy and get sick. I cant handle this pain anymore. idk what to do. and everyone is busy with their lives which leaves me feeling alone. :'( how could they do this to me and not care about how selfish they are being and how bad they are hurting me. today is the bitch kids birthday and all I can think about is my husband going over. :'( and how all these holidays and the bitch birthday is coming up and how he didnt care about mine and how his birthday is in march and this bitch being in his life. he knows these people are hypocrites and he doesnt like that type of people and hes hanging around them. :'( all I do is cry. :'(

everything is going crazy for me. 🙁 so I was crying really bad today and well my mother in law who denied calling my husband or informing him on me I get a text supposedly she didnt call him why else would he send it. anyways this is what he wrote:(I hate how some people said its nice, I took it as a fair well. :'( anyways he wrote this:I know it feels like everything is falling apart in your life but it’s a transition, I know it’s hard but you need to be strong for those girls. If anything you may have lost family and at least you have gain some to and at least you have those beautiful girls that love you and you get to enjoy them by your side. (I never reply back and It hurt when he said the part of losing family because all I can think of is him going to those stupid peoples house and all I do is cry.) anyways after crying really hard (my mother in law calls him, shes denying this but who else would call,check this out) the cops come knocking on the door, I already knew what is was for, I went in my room and well they knock on my door. then they said someone called them saying I was banging my head on the wall, (not true at all however I did hit my head with my hands, (I cant take the pain) anyways they question me and asked me stupid questions as well as my daughter and sister in law and mother in law I bet when she open the door.) so either her or she called my husband and he called the cops on me.) :'( so after they left I kept asking my mother in law but she would talk then I later on went down calmed and asked her. so with that said she says why do you think they came I said idk you tell me and she mumbled accusing me of calling the cops (hello, who else could it have been) anyways so yeah that happen. then later on I decided to cook because of what someone told me and I thought maybe when he comes to drop of my oldest he can eat. well he calls and I talk to him and he tells me that his sister is gonna pick up my oldest to spend the night there(its already late, he could have had her bring her here or he could have waited, now Im thinking hes gonna go to that stupid house again, :'( ugh) so he wasnt done talking to me he said he’ll bring my oldest to change here and will pick up my youngest and take her to school. and then I said ok thank you bye. he said he wasnt dont he called the house phone i didnt pick up and he called my phone and then the house phone and he wanted to talk to me but he told his mother he called the place where we fixed the car before and it still has warranty so thats good. now I have to call roadside assistance so they can take my car to the shop, I’ve notice that hes trying to avoid contact with me as much as possible. im so scared lonely confused everything. I feel desperate and depressed. I want him back. anyone could you give me your opinions on everything. Im gonna put food aside for him to take with him in the morning. Im gonna win my husband back. Im also gonna try to see if they give me emergency housing fingers crossed. and this way I can have my privacy wont have to deal with her telling him everything I do and this way he can start to wonder what is up with me and this way he can see me starting to get my stuff together, im hoping it helps bonus for me she told him I cooked. 🙂 but its gonna take a lot to win him back and I will because he is who I want. 🙂 I did tell his mom I was calling my dad and why my dad didnt take me with him and that if something happens to me (like me getting sick or something, who knows what she thought) anyways that it was gonna be his fault. so I have a few questions why did he call the cops? he didnt tell me anything about it on the phone nor did I ask. what do you guys think is going on here? do I still have a chance with him? also why is he trying to avoid me even though the car broke? anyone? ugh thanks

thanks sunshine, yes I should be able to express myself and do as I please. thanks for the advise. now I have another issue going on, isnt this great, my life is full of something every moment. anyways so you know how I cooked. 🙂 well I had my youngest with me and he said he was gonna come to get it. then I told my youngest to tell him to come in the morning because I knew there was gonna be issues because of the stupid book bag my stupid cousin gave my youngest. so my youngest had called him to say something about it that i took it away and she didnt want to tell me if he was coming or not until a few moments that he knocked on the door and said her name and I knew he was there. ugh lol. so anyways according to his mother he said that the one I was hurting was my child not anyone else and he told his mother he hopes she gets mad at me and hates me forever and he told his mom to kick me out to the street that I wont have any where to go to and he said that to his mom for me to figure out about the car or something like that that it was 12 years already. (I guess he meant of doing things,??) its weird because he was the one I was trying not to call and I listen to my nephew. ugh anyways whats done is done. (so my husband told my mother in law that I have to call the car place in the morning and that I have to call the tow truck to come get the car to take it to the shop, so it still has warranty which im lucky. 🙂 anyways my mother in law said that he was really angry. he came in calm and she said he ate from the food I left out for him and I guess he came up which was when he knocked on the door. so anyways supposedly she was trying to explain to him about how it was wrong or how I felt about it and he got mad. he then started saying about how he hopes my youngest sees how bad I am and hates me and he told his mom to kick me out and everything. so anyways he supposedly heard me crying on the phone and “thought” I was gonna hurt myself so he called supposedly. so his mom said that he said a curse word and left the food. so I have a few questions. do you think he just got angry, who gets angry for a book bag, supposedly it was because my youngest was hurt, but his mom agreed with me on this one as to a female trying to take away your husband giving something to your child she’d be mad to. so anyways, do you think hes still really angry at me and is why hes acting like this? why would he call the cops thinking I was gonna hurt myself and then tell his mom to throw me to the street? whats wrong with him? also he was looking toward the “famous” window a few times to see if he saw me. he was also lasing out on his mom. I told her those people aint good news and they arent. anyone with opinions on this. I really feel that hes very angry at me and sees me as depending on him for everything. i asked his mom if he was happy I cooked and she said she thinks so because he looked hungry as he ate some from the food and was gonna eat again but said a curse word and left it. anyone with opinions or anything else? thanks btw I feel like hes lying to me about his feelings and is really angry at me idk why but I could be wrong about this. anyone? thanks 🙂

ok so im going crazy here. this morning he came to get the prepaid for my oldest and he came in. I was downstairs but ran up to my room. so what happen is that when he got here he was texting someone, idk who. :'( anyways he had some weird bag in his pocket idk what it was. I feel so scared and alone. anyways he ask for the car key and I went out he ran ahead of me, :'( anyways we go out side and he told me to pop the hood and I did and he thought it was the battery. so I kept getting really close to him 🙂 but at one point he told me to go around and that I was too close. :'( but anyways he told me to call the auto shop and the tow and to call him after that to see where were at. I kiss his head lightly and he didnt feel it. it felt so good being next to him but horrible that he didnt respond the same way. :'( so anyways my oldest even told me to get away from him :'( he came inside and I offer him breakfast but he said he ate already and had to go I told him to take it with him but he didnt, then I mentioned the food from yesterday and he said he may get it later. so anyways he then left and I stood by the door to wave by to them and they waved back. I told them they my oldest and husband both looked nice, im not sure if he heard me. I dont want to lose my husband. he could have been just being nice to me as he asked me to move away. :'( I really miss him a lot and want him back and dont want him to push me away. he may have to come get me because the car. he told me so we could try to have it fix by today. his attitude changed all of a sudden why and why is he being this way, I cant stand the pain of loosing him. anyone please help I really miss him and want him back. im starting to get anxiety and panic attacks again I almost went inside because I almost couldnt keep my composure. I think he likes that im cooking but am not sure. I rarely have money to buy food or I would have cooked more often for him. btw I asked him where he was going but im not sure he heard me. my question is what do you guys think is going on? do I still have a chance at getting him back? im very confused, why does he keep getting mad and what not. also my oldest said that she told him I cooked and something about going to get the food but he said no. I wonder if he came to get my youngest because of the food as he ate food when he came in as well. anyone please help im really confused with all of this. thanks

@bguarino. lol yes its nervous behavior but idk what to do anymore. I thought by being next to him he would feel something more for me. I may need to see him later because the car and he may have to give me a ride. so what do you suggest I do? plus I have to vent before I go crazy. @sticknstones the cops may have been because he knows or his mom knows how I’ve gotten before and of things they’ve heard. :'( im so confused but feel that if he sees these changes cooking every day (he said he always had to cook) keeping everything clean just changes in general then I feel he’ll start to see a change in me. like when his mom said I cooked and he told my oldest idk what he said to her but then he showed up and he ate from the food last night. idk I just know I want him back. everything is changing day to day and I feel like I have to post these things or I’ll go crazier. :'( thanks guys for your response. :'( btw @bguarino what do you think would bring him back to me?