hes cheating on me with my cousin. ugh :'(

thanks guys for the reply’s. 🙂 so somethings have been going on which im not happy about. I wanna know what you guys think of everything or what I can remember. so im still not talking to him nor trying to talk to him. his mother keeps talking with him from time to time on the phone and I hear her saying things like shes going to complain, idk basically I feel she keeps talking about this place being nasty, so since I havent been able to find a place to stay, im gonna clean this apartment up and when it gets nasty again I wanna know what crap they’re gonna talk. so anyways besides the apartment issue and yes im still trying to find a place to move to asap. hes not getting my kids they are mine and im not gonna let him get them. (its funny how he let them down last night again, and then tried blaming it on me on text to my oldest, I didnt open the text but you could see it, saying something like your mother and I have to come up with, what kind of bs is that. thing being he told them a while ago he was gonna pick them up yesterday to spend the night and I didnt go anywhere and came her so he could pick them up and he never came not to mention his mother wasnt here either so they may have gone to a party that I didnt know about because no one invited me but I dont care and he didnt pick them up. idk what his problem is but he needs to grow up stop lying and putting blame on me for everything. my youngest said you said to trust daddy but how can I when he never got me my costume you did and he didnt come and was sad and she cried too my oldest fell asleep crying.) I cant deal with this anymore its bull crap. not to mention my kids were telling me how his mother talks so much trash about me behind my back. (my youngest told me she told his mother that my mom couldnt buy me a present and she started laughing(that was uncalled for and mean and rude, even my kids didnt like it even my husband didnt like it and told her to watch what she said, and she said something like sorry I didnt understand. shes full of crap.) so well im over here trying to do my things working and stuff he dared to send me a text saying that i’ve been trying to see the girls for a few days now, its not fair I need to see them to. really? wtf I never took the kids away from him or anything however I left the kids here one day so he could come to see them for that stupid text he left(I dont like leaving them with his mother as all she does is talk shit about me saying things like:all she didnt leave them anything to eat now I have to get them something to eat or telling her brother that shes the only one paying rent here when all she pays id $43.00. can you believe that shit, theres a lot of reasons why I need to get out of here as you can see why.) I hope I can fine a place soon. anyways I never bother anyone nor try to be in others business and stuff but apparently my husband and his mother try to be in my shit idk why. so anyways my oldest told me my husband asked her the other day if I was over him and she said, yes shes been over you a long time ago,(I was happy she said that) then he said ok good, then she said he asked if I had a boyfriend? (really wtf?) and she said maybe she does maybe she doesnt(I was happy she said that too, what I do is none of their freaking business wtf? why does he care hes still taking divorce classes and shit to divorce me so wtf? they always find a reason to talk bad about me behind my back.) anyways so my oldest told me that him and his mother think I have a boyfriend lol really,wtf? so then I asked her about when he went on my laptop and she said it was after she told him that. umm he has no right to go on my laptop hes no longer with me to just come in my room as he pleases. to use it for his stupidity or checking on me whatever it was he was doing. so my oldest said she didnt trust him and came to check on him when he said I’ll be back im going to the bathroom and came to go on my laptop. wtf? ugh. and then he sent those stupid text to my oldest yesterday about blaming me or something like that. wtf all im doing is trying to work better myself and doing things for me and my kids and I keep being talked about and stuff. why is he acting this way? why is all this happening? im so confused and all anyone please tell me about his and his mothers behavior. I woke up missing him and crying some this morning but im so confused. anyways anyone? thanks

guys I feel really down today and now I feel out casted. I knew no one cared about me, but yet again no one ever has. im getting really depressed, thing being people say you have your kids but my kids care about my husband. I want him back or so I think. I just want this to go away I wish hed stopped everything. I bet everyone already knows hes divorcing me. :'( its not my day today and the kids just wanna see him. they never like going to where i go so I cant go anywhere and I cant deal with my pain anymore

so everything keeps getting worse for me instead of better I really have no idea when my luck will change. 🙁 so I went to his sisters to go get money that he owe me. he gave me only 150 in a money order. can you believe that. he hasnt given me money in like 2 weeks and now its gonna be 3weeks all I got was a stupid 150 money order. anyways all I wanted to do was get the money and get out of there and he was there talking trash did you hear what I said and my name. something about communicating because of the girls and seeing them. anyways then he goes as far as sending me a certified email lying saying something about the money and him not being able to see the kids. wtf i want nothing to do with this asshole and now I have to talk to him ugh I wanna cry then he sent me a stupid text. I hate him and wished he’d go away. anyways he came one day and stayed for like 2 hours and left he told his mom to rest well according to what she said and he went to see the slut that night and hes blaming me. I hate him i dont deserve this all I’ve been to him is be nice and hes treating me like crap. idk what to do anymore. anyone ugh. im gonna put him on child support so I dont have to deal with the money issue but now its the other issue wtf when will it end. :'( to top it off the guy who was texting me stopped and wont text me anymore and now im sad about that to. I heard he lied and actually has someone an some other things, however I told the person he told m e about it that I would still be his friend if he wanted and that I would help with his kids if he needed and help him clean his home. this is just me how i am. but never got a text from him either so I guess thats it with that.I feel so sad and disappointed like everyone is rejecting me and such. I feel so low and I feel like everytime im getting up something always happens to push me down all over again. 🙁 I really liked this guy well how he looked lol and was having a nice time texting him. 🙁 i guess theres nothing to do about it but to move on. im so depressed all over again thought someone was actually interested in me and then I got a low blow. :'( anyways any thoughts on all of this? :-/ thanks