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Posts
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travel- yeah i understand. she is probably looking to check up on me, am i dating anyone, thinking of her, etc. however she thought of me enough to reach out. especially after all the hateful things she said 4 weeks ago and me saying nothing for 4 weeks straight.
no easy answers, only I can decide…
ok so here’s the update. I replied to her “how are you doing?” text message after about 3 days. I was in Italy the time so I sent these messages at about 9AM local time, 3 AM EST. I was not expecting a response because obvi people are sleeping. I did that on purpose to prevent a back and forth exchange right away.
Me (3:07 AM EST): Hey. I’m fine. You should come over to my place some night. We can cook dinner, hangout, and catch up. Brew [her dog] is welcome too.
Her: (5 seconds later): It’s 3AM what are you doing up?
Me (+1 min): I’m in Italy. What are you doing up?
Her (+2 min): You’re still there? I am working overnights for a week for my project.
Me (+7 min): I arrived on Monday and I’m flying home in a few hours.
Her (+8 min): Oh didn’t you do there in October too
Me (+4 min): No just London that time.
Her (+3 min): Cool
Her (+3 min): I’d come hang but I don’t think Jon would like that (angry face emoticon) – [Now here I am not sure if the angry face means she’s upset because she can’t hang out, or it’s to represent Jon. I am also wondering if this is just a polite decline]
Her (+2 min): I am glad you are doing well
Her (+26 min): Are you seeing anyone now
Me (+1 min): If you are still with your boyfriend then please do not contact me anymore unless it does not work out with him. I’d love to see you, but its not right that we talk when you are with another man.
Her (+3 min): Ok
Her (not sure when this was sent because I shut my phone off for the airplane): I’m sorry I just wanted to see how you were.
That’s all folks. Overall it was not too bad I think. Especially compared to past conversations. I am glad it stayed civil.
My take on it
– She reached out (positive)
– She is curious what I am doing (positive)
– She mentioned her bf for the millionth time (negative)
– She is upset (angry face) that her bf would be mad and we can’t hang out (if true then positive)
– She is made an excuse not to hang out b/c of her bf (if true then negative)
– She is curious if I am dating anyone (positive)Thoughts on her comments and the overall conversation? Thanks!
I don’t understand this type of reaching out. I am glad that it was positive, but I think it is weird to reach out when she is in a relationship with someone else. I mean, I would only do that if I wasn’t really interested in him/her and was really interested in being with the person I was reaching out to. I don’t really have a good take.
I am having a really hard time myself. I really want to reach out to my ex, and we have been in no contact for over 30 days now. But I don’t feel good enough about myself to reach out to her. My birthday is in two weeks, so I am hoping that I hear from her then, but I may not.
You think it is weird for her to reach or for me reply?
If you’re saying it’s weird for her I totally agree. I mean it’s not weird like a two headed person, it means she is thinking about me in one way or the other. And yes if you switch places and are in a relationship with someone, what would make you reach out to a recent ex? What does it say about your current relationship?
Oh, it is weird for her to reach out because she is in another relationship. It is perfectly natural for you to reply.
She is thinking of you, and it is natural to think about a recent ex even in another relationship, but it just seems like you wouldn’t reach out to that ex if you are happy with your current relationship, you know?
Hey everyone! Umm…yeah so I my ex sent me a text last night. It’s 4AM now and for someone reason I decided wake up and check my messages. She said
“JON AND I BROKE UP” (I added the caps for effect).
Umm yeah wow. A little bit in shock. Two days ago I told her to only contact me if they broke up, and now they broke up….
Have to admit it’s a little strange. I almost do not believe her, but I want to believe her. Also very happy and scared right now.
Lol.
Congratz man! You dominated the post-relationship power struggle!
Now, you need to have a little bit of poker face. Don’t show your hand. Let her chase you. Well, she has to after all the shit she put you through. But anyway. You already know what to do. Be compassionate towards her. Say you’re sorry to hear that etc. But don’t fall into any of her traps. She will often ask you if there is any girl, if you love her etc. Say that past relationship is over and you guys are in a new place now. Just hangout, make conversation. She will eventually open up the idea of getting back together or let her actions speak for herself. RR says for the guy, sex should be the ultimate goal after a couple of dates to put the relationship back in Bliss stage so take care of that. Haha.
great news congrats 🙂 now you have a choice if you want her back or not. 🙂 keep it up your doing great. 🙂
So we’ve been texting this morning. She said they broke up because she had doubts and they both agreed it was not meant to be (typical rebound description). She also said he wasn’t romantic, didn’t consider her, and was selfish (my opposite).
She said she misses me and wants to see me.
I told her my previous invite to hangout still stands.
She said “this weekend?” Then “do you think it’s a good idea?”
I said the past is the past and I’d love to hangout.
Her- have you changed for the better? I’m nervous (had to hold my tongue because what did I wrong exactly?)
Me: I don’t think I can answer that, only you can decide. Why nervous?
Her: I don’t know we’ve been thru a lot.
I guess I just keep playing it cool. Try to make a date for this weekend. Right?
im so excited for you, 🙂 your so lucky. anyways yes make a date with her. and if you still want her try to keep her this time. lol. do something that you know she will love. 🙂 like they say think outside the box. good luck and keep us posted. 🙂
well we are meeting for a drink in a few hours. I tried to get her to come over for dinner, but she lives 1.5 hours away. details right? Going to meet her halfway. Wish me luck!
So it went well. We had a few drinks and some food. She talked a lot about this guy she just broke up with. How it was rushed, she couldn’t commit to him, he wasn’t the nicest to her, etc. I was getting a little tired of her complaining about the guy she jumped to after me.
I asked her what she wanted, did she want to just friends? She said yeah. I said I can’t be just friends with you. I want you and desire you, and that I am okay with hanging out and having fun, but not just friends. She said that’s fine.
She mentioned a lot how she wants to be alone right now. That she’s jumped from guy to guy way too much. I said that is probably for the best.
She also talked about coming over this weekend. Watching a movie together. Getting pedicure together again (yes I did that was pretty good actually). Just positive things to do together. She also dropped hints of going to a football or hockey game.
Towards the end of the night she was leaning close to me, laughing, talking. Good body language. However, no good night kiss, but we did hug twice.
wow sounds like you had a good time. 🙂 im so happy and excited for you. 🙂 I wish i had some outcome, lol keep it up. 🙂 question so after everything said and done you still want her back? how do you
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