Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi LA
You are in such a fantastic place and I admire and respect that. Well done on achieving this. It is a great accomplishment.
I sincerely hope you get positive results from your letter and it strikes the right cords in your Ex heart.
Keep us informed when you find out something
Hi Sunshinegirl
Just so I’m clear, your Ex is reaching out to you and saying those things. If that is the case then he is still thinking about you and the breakup. Don’t feel lost and just keep giving him space.
I also would be obsessed with the idea of getting back together if my Ex was sending me messages like that…Hey who am I kidding, I am obsessed with getting back with my Ex and she doesn’t contact me at all 🙁
I think the most important for you right now is focus all your thoughts on your exam and study. Get that out of the way. Do well with that and don’t let what your ex is saying/not saying to distract you
Rihanna – I have heard of Australia, Isn’t it that small island off the coast of New Zealand? I didn’t realise it was an independent country, I was taught in school that it was a state of New Zealand. Funny what random stuff you learn. You list all the things about you, but aren’t all Australians blonde, tanned and beautiful bikini babes who surf all day with kangaroos while drinking Fosters. You can add that to your list also of great things about you 🙂
When it comes to money, my parents taught me how to save but never how to invest. So I’m actually really good at saving money and working towards goals, but when it comes to investing money I normally either blow the money I have saved up or make bad decisions with my money. I’m lucky as a few years back in some moments of clear thought I saved enough to purchase a small apartment, which I still live in. But I will try to help as I can 🙂
Lavanya – Sorry I missed your earlier post/question about NC if you break it do you go back to day 1. No Contact is about you and giving yourself time to heal and not appearing needy to your Ex. Use NC as a tool to evaluate your own life and make the changes required in your life to be a better person in your future relationships (Whether that is with your Ex or another person). It is not a rule or remedy that if you break it you are a bad person. So don’t see it as being back at square one or day 1 because you had to interact with your Ex due to study purposes.
Festival Dave – Great place where you are at with your Ex and that you feel if she asked you out you would say no. Small request for us here – Don’t leave us as we would all be sad. I know you mention you don’t post as much but I would still love to hear about all your travelling stories even if you don’t have updates on your Ex
Raed – I know how you feel, I have more down days then up. As Dara and others know. It can be easy to spend the nights home alone with a bottle of wine and get sad thinking about what you had
A.Z – Love you too 🙂 I think the groom is just playing hard to get but he likes you. Maybe if you went 30 days NC on him, he might start missing you and change his gameplay 😛
Update – Ok just read some more of the thread now…gee it is hard to keep up with you two, so much happens in 24hours. Things are moving along quickly
This thread is so silly…I heart it
Festival Dave – Haha, yeah I remember when we had the 2 David’s on the comments section and it got so confusing. I remember one thread and it looked like you were having a conversation with yourself, but with two different opinions. I came away from reading that so confused. But you get a “like” from me from your profile for enjoy going to the pub. I know the English are renown for their social pub scene which is almost a way of life for them. Totally into that
Raed – So agree with you about feeling jealous with Dara and A.Z- they already sound such a perfect couple. Its amazing how love strikes when we least expect it. Planning the wedding already…YAY!!!!
Sunshinegirl – In case I forget next week, Good luck with your exam. I hope you can stay focus and not be distracted by your Ex with all your study from now until then
Rihanna – Do you mind me asking what country you are from? To me $6000 is a great kick start if you are moving and starting a fresh in a different city. But listen to your heart even if you have to get by yourself for a bit to get the answer. I am sure there are pros and cons for both staying and going. But never let how much money you have/don’t have be a determining factor in your decision.
Mike will have a look at your thread shortly. Dara is pretty good with his feedback so I would probably agree with what he has said
Hi Lavana
I think it would be best for you unless you absolutely have to, stay No Contact. I read your other thread and some of the reasons you listed for the reason your Ex broke up with you was because of excess emotions, over thinking and insecurity. By going No Contact for a period you are demonstrating to your Ex that you are secure and not needy. If you continue to contact him even for work/studies reasons he may not see that change in you. Give him some space for a bit.
Hope this helps
Festival Dave is here and so envious of all the trips you have done this year. That’s one thing I haven’t done this year is take a decent holiday somewhere. I went over to South East Asia last year for 5 weeks and had a fabulous time, I got back and was sick for nearly a month. So I went into negative leave with my work. No holidays this year 🙁
Sunshinegirl – Love the name, its just so happy. Don’t worry if your not a native speaker here. Welcome to our crazy thread. I hope you know how to knit, play checkers and can race a walking frame. I know the feeling of being up one day and down the next. That describes me in a nutshell. I have good days and bad days. More bad if I was to be honest. At least I am sleeping better. The first month was horrible for getting a decent night sleep.
Haha.. Ok so if this is a new dating website then I will start with my profile
“Single male with major emotional issues looking for a female. I love to cry while thinking about my Ex, listen to sloppy love songs, daydream about getting back with my Ex, drink wine and think about my Ex and oh yeah I can actually cook an amazing Lasagna.” Ladies I expect to see my inbox fill with all your messages tomorrow when I log on 😛
Hi there Eric
Thanks for coming to this forum. I read your story and there were a lot of similar aspects of your story to mine and I know all the feelings that you are going through. Believe me friend, I went through it all too.
Like yourself I was in what I thought an amazing relationship where we were as you said “inseparable” then my Ex got a new job in March and as you experience the constant texting dropped drastically to 3 -5 texts a day. The sex stop and she didn’t want to stay over as she was too tired from work. I was understanding as I knew this was important to her thinking it was just a phase and once she settled into the job everything would work out.
She did the same thing with me where out of the blue one night in early May she said she thought we were at different stages in life. That I was a great guy who ticked all the right boxes with her but it was unfair on me for us to be together while she wanted to focus on her new career. Even know 2 weeks before over Easter we talked about our relationship and she said that she wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
I know how it is to cry and believe so strongly in your heart that the girl of your dreams is making an incredible mistake
I wish I could give you the answers that you want to hear, that it will work out and everything will be fine, but I can’t promise that. All I can say is read Kevin’s page, continue with No Contact and sign up to his daily emails. Do things for yourself for the next few days. If you like a coffee, go out and get one. Go to the movies, even if it is by yourself, make sure you keep with the exercise at the gym and stick with your new diet.
It will be tough over the coming weeks and months, but stay strong Bud and feel free to write here whenever you want to share. The community is very supportive
Terrorcat – I read your post and I feel that is something I would write and exactly where I am at, right down to missing your Ex smile. I was thinking the same thing just before I read your post. Glad you are getting back on track
LA – I think just receiving a hand written letter will do the triggers and if you stick to the NC until you are ready to send the letter then it will make the letter more effective. I would remind her of some bliss moments in your letter, just a couple of those special moments that you two shared and that will work as the trigger
Hey Loraina
I feel your pain and that it is tough for you. I don’t have words to say how you must be feeling or what you should do. Other then agree with what LA has already said. Be strong out there and be weak and true with us on this forum, that’s why we are here and as LA said don’t be to hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemy at times.
I know I went for about 14 nights without a decent night sleep straight after my breakup. I dreaded going to bed as I knew I was going to just lay there and think. Even now I will still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night feeling extremely sad and about to burst into tears because of the pain, but it does get easier. I can promise you that
Chin up girl
Hey Raed – You finally made it over to the dark side of this website away from the comments section, great to see you active with your comments again Bud 🙂
Rihanna – I’m here. Gee I only been gone 24 hours from this website and you are missing me already, steady on girl 😛
A.Z I will have a look at those threads you recommended tomorrow, got late real quick today and time just flew by
BTW just to throw the thought in everyone’s head when we mention “Oldies” I have this image of everyone being 75 years old plus and we are all in some retirement home with our walking frames and wheel chairs getting up to antics. Dara is out there chasing young woman. Some of us are on medication and every now and then those young folk with relationship issues need our help, but back in our day…
Hi Guys
LA – Well done for feeling fine on seeing a picture of your Ex with another guy, I know I have commented on this before but as far as I’m concerned that is a good place to be. The letter is an important milestone in winning your Ex back. Good luck friend. I did exactly the same as you about rewriting the letter. I think I did about 5-6 drafts before I was finally happy. Keep your head high
Marie – I echo what A.z says and stop checking his status. I know its tough to do and I struggle with this one also. But believe me its the best in the long run
Wesley – Welcome to this thread, So glad you could join us. Feel free to share whenever you want. I will try and read your story tonight so I get an idea of where you are at.
Day 38 for myself – Overall I had a good day, just in the afternoon I got thinking about where things are at. Its been just over 3months since my Ex broke up with me and 2 1/2 months since I last heard from her.
For those that aren’t familiar with my breakup story. The basics is that the breakup happen out of the blue for me and when she told me I went into a bit of shock as I totally wasn’t expecting it and didn’t really know what to say. So after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence she got up and left the café where we were at and that was the last I saw of her. Over the next 7 days I made all the mistakes of calling her to talk and texting before I discovered this website. I went NC and made 14 days before I sent her a text. She replied back to me and said that while I was a great guy I had to respect her decision and leave it be. That was the last I heard from her. I went 30 days NC then wrote the magic letter, heard nothing back, waited another week and sent a text message that was related to her Goals. Heard nothing back from that. (I know through the grape vine she got both the text and letter, just she was indifferent to them)
Well now I am on round 2 of NC day 38 and it sucks because the reality that I feel is I will be here in 2 -3 months time and nothing will off changed. Do I want to get back with my Ex, Yes I do! But sadly that is completely out of my hands. Thinking about that just got me down as I can picture myself on this forum writing something along the lines of “Day 115 NC – Another bum day feeling down about my Ex” That thought just gave me this sense of hopelessness and made me sad.
It hard and sometimes its best just to think about the steps in front of you and take it one day at a time. Who knows what is just around the corner
Hey guys
Rihanna I feel like you sometimes I come on to the website every 24hours or so when I get the chance and it feels like the conversation in this thread have moved on and exploded and I am reading pages to try and catchup with what’s being going on. In the last 24 hours its like another 2 pages has been added on. I missed all that sweet talking of Dara and Daniel 😛
Dara I so admire you are getting out there and talking to other girls and even if you are getting rejected that is so fantastic. My confidence has taken a massive hit and I’m just not at a place yet where I feel comfortable doing that. Much respect to you brother
So agree with you, Dara, about AZ being the “Reply machine” on these forums and that’s just gold AZ about you trying to find another website to help you get over this one. Made me laugh out loud when I read that. But what about me AZ, don’t you also love the fact you have me in your life… haha just kidding
Rihanna I just posted over in my NC thread on my last couple of days but I will just Copy/paste what I wrote, so forgive me if it makes little to no sense and for the doubling up on posts. Have had a couple of beers tonight that went straight to my head.
Day 37 – NC for me – I actually had a crappy day yesterday at work. About mid afternoon I just came down with a big “I miss my ex” blues and it got worst as the afternoon progressed. I actually got very depressed and in a very dark mood. I just couldn’t even think straight and felt like I was going to burst into tears. Haven’t been in a funk like this for over a month. Was so glad it was Friday afternoon as I went home and just lay on the couch for the evening and watched a couple of movies with a glass of wine to take my mind of things. So here I am over 3 months on and still having extremely rough days.
Today was a little better for myself, I had a good sleep. I also got a random text from one of my Ex’s friends, a guy who I haven’t seen since before the breakup. He wanted to go out for a drink and play some pool. It was just weird as I actually have no idea why he wanted to see me. The entire evening I was waiting for him to tell me some news or something, but he didn’t. I tried to avoid talking about my Ex and act as if I’m real cool and in a good place, but right at the end when we were leaving I asked him how she was doing. (I had a couple of beers) he told me she was majorly stressed with work but she was enjoying single life. He then left it at that and I thought I better not follow up so I don’t appear too overly keen or interested in her goings. Don’t want to be the creepy stalker Ex…lol
One day at a time for myself, one day
have a great night oldies 🙂
Hi everyone
LA good luck with the date I hope it goes well for you. Please do give us an update
Loraina – That’s Ok if you don’t know what to say or share. I find just the more the fact that there are people here who are going through the same thing as us helps a lot. Some days I come here and share random crap that makes no sense. But it just helps to vent and be vulunerable here, then put the mask on when I’m around those people I interact with every day who are probably fed up with my constantly going on about my Ex. But yes NC helps especially when I still get times when I just want to ring up my Ex and beg for her to come back. AKA one of the deadly instincts that Kevin talks about
Marie – I think everyone gets told that ‘Move on and get over your ex’ I have friends who tell me that and I know other websites suggest that too and people can be quite rude about it. Now I don’t have the answers and I agree with what Rihanna said, only you knows the full story and only you in your heart knows what needs to be done. Sometime moving on is the best option, other times if you believe deep down that your ex is the one then you may never be able to move on.
Day 37 – NC for me – I actually had a crappy day yesterday at work. About mid afternoon I just came down with a big “I miss my ex” blues and it got worst as the afternoon progressed. I actually got very depressed and in a very dark mood. I just couldn’t even think straight and felt like I was going to burst into tears. Haven’t been in a funk like this for over a month. Was so glad it was Friday afternoon as I went home and just lay on the couch for the evening and watched a couple of movies with a glass of wine to take my mind of things. So here I am over 3 months on and still having extremely rough days.
Today was a little better for myself, I had a good sleep. I also got a random text from one of my Ex’s friends, a guy who I haven’t seen since before the breakup. He wanted to go out for a drink and play some pool. It was just weird as I actually have no idea why he wanted to see me. The entire evening I was waiting for him to tell me some news or something, but he didn’t. I tried to avoid talking about my Ex and act as if I’m real cool and in a good place, but right at the end when we were leaving I asked him how she was doing. (I had a couple of beers) he told me she was majorly stressed with work but she was enjoying single life. He then left it at that and I thought I better not follow up so I don’t appear too overly keen or interested in her goings. Don’t want to be the creepy stalker Ex…lol
One day at a time for myself, one day
Hey Oldies
Great to see everyone is doing well overall, even if we have our highs and lows.
Rihanna – So happy that you still have good conversations with your Ex, even if he isn’t in a great place with his injury and depression. The fact you can be there to support him speak volumes
FestivalDave – Great to see you posting here and I love your thoughts and I have been thinking along the same track as you. That our ex won’t know how great we were until they compare us to other guys and realise what a catch we were. (Now I can’t fit through the door because my head and ego is so big…lol)
Hey everyone,
Thanks for sharing open where you are all at. It is very encouraging.
I.A. – Kevin talks about how often we will start wondering if our Ex has forgotten about us and his answer is No. If you as a couple shared moments of bliss together for a period, then she will be thinking about you. It takes a lot longer then we think to move on. Outwardly she may appear to have forgotten about you and she may be chatting to other guys, but deep down there is still a piece of her heart that thinks about you.
Blocking social media was the best thing I did in helping improve myself. It took me a while and for a few weeks after I did that I was still getting urges every day to do a sneaky check to see what she was up too. I still get those urges but 9 times out 10 I can ignore it, every now and then I do succumb, but that is getting rarer and rarer now.
Ruben – Good on you man for not counting days, that’s a good place to be at especially as you know she is dating someone else. That’s something I haven’t had to deal with yet and I know that would be an incredible tough thing to cope with. AFAIK my ex after 3 months hasn’t been on a date but in saying that I haven’t had any contact with her. I have a friend who is still friends with my ex and he said he would let me know if he found out she was dating someone else. I not entirely sure how I will react when that happens. The more I focus on myself the easy it will be I think
