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My stomach is officially twisting into knots right now. One friend who didn’t realize who I am sat and talked about how my exes new GF is staying with him now. I didn’t cry but I feel completely sick to my stomach knowing that she’s here with him. I hate to think about it. I managed not to react at all, I hid the sinking feeling and pain really well I think. I’m still feeling it and I don’t know what to do, I’ve been doing so well, but now I feel like I’m completely falling apart inside… The anger and pain and betrayal is all so fresh feeling right now. Maybe sleep will make it go away…
Loraina,
Not too long into my NC I found out my ex was seeing a guy she was friends with when we were together. Not only that I ran into them once. I felt exactly what you’re feeling. I know what your going through and how you’re hurting! I know it’s hard but be strong, don’t forget that Kevin mentions that when this happens it’s almost always a rebound relationship and they don’t last. You’re ex is trying to heal the pain of the break up through someone else which is the incorrect way. In addition, it’s hard to completely forget about an ex Kevin mentions that they will always be at the back of their mind. And in fact your ex may be looking for you in this new relationship.
Don’t forget that you still have the upper hand here. You Guys have inside jokes, memories, etc. I know it feels like the world is over but be strong. Use this to your advantage to become a better person. I’v learned that as long as your still under NC there isn’t much you can do to stop it. Go back to working on yourself and post about it on your profile. You owe it to yourself to be happy at all cost, you’re going through a lot right now so it’s important. Belive me it will hurt less and less as time goes by.
Just my opinion. Speak from experience. Good luck to you
LA Thanks. I know it’s normal to be feeling this but I’ve been mostly positive overall lately and this just brought me back down into the same feelings and confusion that I had right after he left. I don’t know if this could really be considered a rebound since I’m pretty sure he cheated with her anyway but maybe… Sometimes I really wish these feelings would just stop so that I could get rest from it. Sleep isn’t happening for me right now so I think this might be a gaming night lol If you can’t fight someone in real life a computer screen is the next best thing! Hopefully it keeps me distracted because nothing is working right now. I appreciate the advice and support!
Loraina,
No problem. We are here for you if you need to vent. Don’t be hard on yourself. Have a good time!
Hey Loraina
I feel your pain and that it is tough for you. I don’t have words to say how you must be feeling or what you should do. Other then agree with what LA has already said. Be strong out there and be weak and true with us on this forum, that’s why we are here and as LA said don’t be to hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemy at times.
I know I went for about 14 nights without a decent night sleep straight after my breakup. I dreaded going to bed as I knew I was going to just lay there and think. Even now I will still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night feeling extremely sad and about to burst into tears because of the pain, but it does get easier. I can promise you that
Chin up girl
Terrorcat – I read your post and I feel that is something I would write and exactly where I am at, right down to missing your Ex smile. I was thinking the same thing just before I read your post. Glad you are getting back on track
LA – I think just receiving a hand written letter will do the triggers and if you stick to the NC until you are ready to send the letter then it will make the letter more effective. I would remind her of some bliss moments in your letter, just a couple of those special moments that you two shared and that will work as the trigger
Loraina,
Thanks I will look it up 🙂 yeah being stuck at home really is the worst I sometimes feel I’ll lose my mind but yeah I fight over it thinking this is gonna end and not forever. And I also stopped looking or knowing her whereabouts/whatabouts I’m just thinking of myself but we all know that at times our minds drift back to that one person we had. And that is just sad but anyway I’m still trying to focus on myself.
And good luck in your date hope you have fun! And i don’t think its odd that you are worried about his new relationship its just you still care for him and I think its normal for us to do so.Hello all,
I just wanted to update you guys I’m my situation: I am finally ready to contact my ex. I feel strong about it. I’m where I’m suppose to be. I still care about here but to a certain degree. I understand and accepted that we broke up and that I may never get her back and that’s ok. There are plenty of girls out there whom I can be happy with as well.
I have worked on myself throughout NC of 37 days. I went to the gym, I went on runs, was involved in sports, hung out with friends, traveled, and went on a date and talked to girls. I was so obsessed and needy during day 1 and now I feel stronger than ever even after finding out that my ex is seeing someone. I’ve kept my cool and the time has come to contact her. I’ve written my letter and sent it. I was honest about how I felt towards her but not to pushy and needy. I plan on texting in a couple days. I hope all goes well, if not I’m ready to let go completely of her and move on with my life. No round 2 for me.
I felt that this was the time to send it since my confidence is high and strong, I’m ready with my technics and people have told me she’s been posting quotes about having a broken hart the past few days.
Overall, The right people will come and stay. I guess I’ll find out by the end of this week on how this goes.
My time has come and I’d like to thank Kevin for his words and support and to all of you who have been there for me. I could not have gone through this without this site and you guys.
I will be sure to update you on how things turn out. Wish me luck!
LA,
That is great news. You surely sound confident and more relaxed and you have the right attitude. I admire you for being cool when you know your ex is seeing someone else. I am facing the same situation. Hope I will be in that place as you in one month. I am currently in my first month of NC. When did you sent the letter?
I wish you good luck!
Julia,
Thank you, I sent it today. My ex will be receiving it by tomorrow or the day after that. We leave in the same city. Sorry to hear that about your ex. I know what your going through and it’s not easy. It hit me like a tom of bricks when I found out but through out the course of NC I was able to grow stronger. I wish you the best and be sure to keep us updated on your progress!
Hi LA
You are in such a fantastic place and I admire and respect that. Well done on achieving this. It is a great accomplishment.
I sincerely hope you get positive results from your letter and it strikes the right cords in your Ex heart.
Keep us informed when you find out something
Day 41 of NC for myself and my Ex has been on the back of my mind. I am thankful my job has been very busy this week and it has helped to take my mind of things for a bit. It has been the nights getting to me, last night was the worst as I go home and think….and think…and think then I get down and extremely sad about the way things turn out.
I am impressed with my willpower at the moment as times like this I just want to pick up the phone and call her just to talk to her and beg her to change her mind. But I know that deadly instinct is the worst thing I could do
The plus for me at the moment is I am sleeping really well and I haven’t woken up in the middle of the night like I use too.
Every journey consist of lots of single steps and my journey at the moment feels like getting through each day one at a time.
Thank you everyone,
Yes it took me a while to get here but I’m finally here. I’m a bit anxious about when she gets the letter and I send the text. But I’m ready to play it cool and see what happens.
It’s funny, part of me doesn’t want to go through this and just wants to forget about her since she hasn’t been the best ex these past month. But the other part of me wants to see what if since she’s been posting quotes that may suggest she’s missing me. I’m a little scard becuase this can be mis leading what if it’s for somehtjng else or they are just random post. However, I can’t wait to start communicating again. I feel like I may have a chance. I have nothing to loose so I’m going for it
LA,
Goodluck man! Just a little reminder because ive been in your situation. If you are 100% stable then there is nothing to lose. But if you are not, you might lose sanity again. You might end up back to square one so be cautious. Stay strong buddy! I wish you the best!
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