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Posts
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Hi everyone
LA good luck with the date I hope it goes well for you. Please do give us an update
Loraina – That’s Ok if you don’t know what to say or share. I find just the more the fact that there are people here who are going through the same thing as us helps a lot. Some days I come here and share random crap that makes no sense. But it just helps to vent and be vulunerable here, then put the mask on when I’m around those people I interact with every day who are probably fed up with my constantly going on about my Ex. But yes NC helps especially when I still get times when I just want to ring up my Ex and beg for her to come back. AKA one of the deadly instincts that Kevin talks about
Marie – I think everyone gets told that ‘Move on and get over your ex’ I have friends who tell me that and I know other websites suggest that too and people can be quite rude about it. Now I don’t have the answers and I agree with what Rihanna said, only you knows the full story and only you in your heart knows what needs to be done. Sometime moving on is the best option, other times if you believe deep down that your ex is the one then you may never be able to move on.
Day 37 – NC for me – I actually had a crappy day yesterday at work. About mid afternoon I just came down with a big “I miss my ex” blues and it got worst as the afternoon progressed. I actually got very depressed and in a very dark mood. I just couldn’t even think straight and felt like I was going to burst into tears. Haven’t been in a funk like this for over a month. Was so glad it was Friday afternoon as I went home and just lay on the couch for the evening and watched a couple of movies with a glass of wine to take my mind of things. So here I am over 3 months on and still having extremely rough days.
Today was a little better for myself, I had a good sleep. I also got a random text from one of my Ex’s friends, a guy who I haven’t seen since before the breakup. He wanted to go out for a drink and play some pool. It was just weird as I actually have no idea why he wanted to see me. The entire evening I was waiting for him to tell me some news or something, but he didn’t. I tried to avoid talking about my Ex and act as if I’m real cool and in a good place, but right at the end when we were leaving I asked him how she was doing. (I had a couple of beers) he told me she was majorly stressed with work but she was enjoying single life. He then left it at that and I thought I better not follow up so I don’t appear too overly keen or interested in her goings. Don’t want to be the creepy stalker Ex…lol
One day at a time for myself, one day
Steve- The end of today was bad like that for me. I ended up having to leave the house and walk around for an hour or so. It helps me to move around and just enjoy the beautiful day. I hope you enjoyed that night out!! Don’t read too far into the “enjoying single life” comment- I’ve heard a range of different things about my ex, you never really know what’s true. It was good that you didn’t try to demand too much information, creepy stalker is definitely not the approach you want.
Hi all,
Just came back from my date. My date was an old friend we had a little something in the passed before my ex. My ex absolutly dislikes her. She sees her as an old ex of mine. I’ve been catching up with her and tonight we went out for a casual dinner and a movie. It defiantly helped to get my mind off things. We had a good time for a first date. One thing I do have to admit my ex did pop into my mind a few times. Something Kevin mentioned was true. When you date someone after a break up you tend to look for your ex inside this new person. Other than that I focused on the date. She had a blast with me amd over all I feel like I’ve got my mojo back. It’s a great feeling after everything I went through with my ex I felt like I had lost it. My confidence is through the roof.
Thank you everyone you’re all the best!
Hi All,
NC day 13 here. I’m struggling because me ex has a new boyfriend. They’ve been seeing each other for close to 2 months now. I’m not sure if he is a rebound or not. What makes things harder is we were long distance. She reached out to me just before the weekend. It was so hard not to reply. I broke up with her so I’m worried the more I ignore her the more she the thinks I’m none with her and the more I drive her into his arms.
Yesterday i was alright. Today i am a mess. I wish that the pain would ease at least. I saw last night after mt night out that he has posted that he is a prisoner in his own mind. I want so bad to reach out to him… but i havent and i feel horrible for not. I wonder if he is missing me as much as i am. It just feels so wrong thats he isent a part of my life right now. Does anyone have any thoughts on what i should do?
hey MarieoO713,
Yes,you should stop checking his status updates/photos… .its stopping you from being happy so you should do something about it.if you can’t stop yourself from checking his profile,deactivate your account for a little while.remember that you are more important than your ex.and you should stop taking even a small doze of your ex during NC so you can follow the plan in a right way.Best of Luck
Day 33
Today I was unwilling shown a picture of my ex with the same guy shes been seeing. I was surprised it didn’t destroy me. Don’t get me wrong it made me upset but I still feel fine. Just need a few mins to get myself together and I’m good to go. It’s like a feeling that I have to shake off. I’m really proud of myself. I’ve come a long way. I have to thank Kevin and to all you for your advice. If it weren’t for you guys this would have been the end of me but I feel strong. I feel strength lifting me up, I’m not sure where it’s coming from but I feel it. My confidence is still here.
I’m working on my letter, I’ve written a few already and then find myself re-writing it again. I plan on sending it in about 3 days. I’m ready to win her over and save her from this rebound relationship. If for whatever reason she is blond to see what’s in front of her I’m ready to walk away like a champ with my head held high and look for my soul mate the one who truly deserves me, my love, and all of my attention
Hi Guys
LA – Well done for feeling fine on seeing a picture of your Ex with another guy, I know I have commented on this before but as far as I’m concerned that is a good place to be. The letter is an important milestone in winning your Ex back. Good luck friend. I did exactly the same as you about rewriting the letter. I think I did about 5-6 drafts before I was finally happy. Keep your head high
Marie – I echo what A.z says and stop checking his status. I know its tough to do and I struggle with this one also. But believe me its the best in the long run
Wesley – Welcome to this thread, So glad you could join us. Feel free to share whenever you want. I will try and read your story tonight so I get an idea of where you are at.
Day 38 for myself – Overall I had a good day, just in the afternoon I got thinking about where things are at. Its been just over 3months since my Ex broke up with me and 2 1/2 months since I last heard from her.
For those that aren’t familiar with my breakup story. The basics is that the breakup happen out of the blue for me and when she told me I went into a bit of shock as I totally wasn’t expecting it and didn’t really know what to say. So after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence she got up and left the café where we were at and that was the last I saw of her. Over the next 7 days I made all the mistakes of calling her to talk and texting before I discovered this website. I went NC and made 14 days before I sent her a text. She replied back to me and said that while I was a great guy I had to respect her decision and leave it be. That was the last I heard from her. I went 30 days NC then wrote the magic letter, heard nothing back, waited another week and sent a text message that was related to her Goals. Heard nothing back from that. (I know through the grape vine she got both the text and letter, just she was indifferent to them)
Well now I am on round 2 of NC day 38 and it sucks because the reality that I feel is I will be here in 2 -3 months time and nothing will off changed. Do I want to get back with my Ex, Yes I do! But sadly that is completely out of my hands. Thinking about that just got me down as I can picture myself on this forum writing something along the lines of “Day 115 NC – Another bum day feeling down about my Ex” That thought just gave me this sense of hopelessness and made me sad.
It hard and sometimes its best just to think about the steps in front of you and take it one day at a time. Who knows what is just around the corner
Thank you Steve for your words of encouragement,
I’m sorry to hear the situation that you find yourself in. Stay strong my friend, just like youve been here for some of us we are here for you too. Not only that but we feel your pain. Stay strong, be happy, do anything that makes you happy to shake off this feeling, you owe it to yourself.
I wish you the best. Keep us updated with your status
Hello everyone! I’ve been feeling kinda sad today it’s been a month and 8 days of NC with my ex girl. It’s been really hard to concentrate on anything or think about any other thing when you’re stuck home, and my mind just drifts on her like what she’s doing atm or who’s she talking to have she really forgotten about me and all that stuff. But there are days when I’m like fine and great and honestly I really like those days when it happens.
In my situation I feel that it’s really hard to feel fine since I have no work and can’t really go out a lot. But what I do is just to think about happy stuff and to read I’m running out of good books to read (if any one of you could suggest a book, that would be lovely)
Hope you guys are doing well. We are all experiencing the same feelings and I know that in time we’ll be able to get through this. xx
LA- congrats on having fun with your date and way to go seeing that picture and being ok!! You seem very positive and well adjusted. I hope things go well for you when you send your letter, GL!
marie- You have to try to stop checking his statuses. Stop notifications, block him, even take a break from social media if you have to! It will just bring you pain and stop your personal healing process. I had an insanely difficult time with this- I actually still do. It’ll be one of the best moves that you could make though!
Wesley- I’m sorry to hear that they’re dating someone now 🙁 I have the same situation going on here. It cuts at me everyday wondering about how and when and why. It’s made easier by the fact that he hasn’t tried to contact me at all yet and is respecting my need for space in this. Hold strong! You can do it and the pain does start to lessen as time goes by.
Steve- I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that I could be here months down the road still sad about things. It’s a hard thought to have, especially since I’m expecting this to be a permanent thing in my case. I try to keep in mind that I’ve done everything I can in the situation and that moving forward all I can control is what I do. Our thoughts and feelings are known and now it’s time to try to be happy for ourselves as much as possible. I have faith that we’ll both end up in better situations than we were in!
Athens- Being stuck at home would be really hard right now! I know my mind wonders whenever I can’t get out with the kids. What kind of books do you like?? I could suggest several but I’m not sure what you’re looking for. I’d suggest the Dresden Files as something interesting, they were very good!
Day 8 of my official NC though it’s been almost 2 months since the end with minimal contact. The excruciating pain of it is fading into a sad acceptance I think. It still feels like it follows me around like a cloud but I feel like I can function now. I’m not always down about it- there are times when I’m actually happy. My biggest problem that keeps me thinking about him is his new relationship. Wondering about him cheating when we were together and if he’s really happier with her spins through my head and starts to take me down a few times a day but it rarely completely does. Is it odd that I’m truly worried about him getting hurt in this new relationship? She has a horrible reputation… But I remind myself that he knows what he’s gotten into and has decided to still go forward with it. There’s nothing I can do or say to help him, I can only work on me.
Some good news! I’m going out on a date this weekend. 🙂 He’s a good friend. I’m really nervous but also very excited. Talking to him has always made me happier whenever I’ve been down about anything. Hopefully it goes well!
Hi all,
Having a hard time today. I have had moments where I totally know we will get back together in time, only because of how good we were together. How we really got eachother. Then there are times when I just can’t believe what has happened. I miss talking to him. I miss his laugh and smile… It’s tough though when I talk to friends who give me the look when I say that I haven’t heard from him in almost 3 weeks. Explaining the whole NC thing got old after the first few friends. Funny, I bet a million bucks he is doing NC on me. I bet he is reading all the same stuff I am reading. Anyway, having trouble sleeping, and getting stuff done. Especially the things I don’t want to do in the first place. But definately getting back on track. It sucks.Day 34:
I get the feeling that my ex wants to forget about me and is doing everything she can to move on. That’s why she’s been seeing this guy. She is also aware that I’ve been talking to girls too. I can’t help to think that she wants nothing to do with me even though we haven’t talked since the last time she told me she needed space and that maybe in a month she’ll come back to me. I’v posted some pictures on my profile with girls making it seem that I’m desired by other girls. One who was my old ex. I know she saw those photos and the next day she posted a photo with the this guy she’s seeing. The first photo of him on her profile. (Someone showed me). The feeling I has are not those of jealousy. In fact I wasn’t really hurt when I saw that photo but what makes me worry is that she maybe trying to do everything she can to move on as she might be hurt from see the photos I’ve posted. She’s a stubborn girl so I have a feeling that once I send her the letter and try to contact her she’ll ignore me or just let me know she’s moved on and it’s too late. I have to admit though yes I’ll be hurt once again but I think I’m ready to confront that. I’ve gotten to the point where if I loose her forever I’ll be ok with it eventually. What saddens me is that she won’t be able to see the changes I’ve done in my life. I know exactly the reason why things didn’t work out between us. And if this guy wasn’t around she’d be in my arms now but knowing her shell choose to to try something new even if it’s a rebound.
The opportunity that she’ll miss to see that things can workout now saddens me. Of course I’m getting ahead of my self and I should try to NC with the mentality that she’ll just ignore me but like i said I know her, and that’s what I see her doing.
Any ideas to trigger something in her to make her miss me or make it easier on me when I contact her?
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