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Rihanna…what the heck. I thought you were doing 2 weeks NC. What happen that you had to break it?
Honestly I feel he is more trouble for you than he is worth. In my humble opinion I would block his number and walk away completely. By keeping in touch with him you are leaving the door open in your own mind as to whether you will get back together or not. Which naturally will mess with your emotions.
Read your last post. You talk to him and now you feel “disappointed, hurt, jealous, confused and empty” (Nouns you yourself used in that last post) Is it really worth going through those emotions just to keep giving yourself hope that one day you may get back together.
If you were to ask me what he is thinking. From all that I hear about this guy over the last year I will be harsh and think the worst. This guy likes being single, however he also is looking for love. He doesn’t want to get back with you unless he gets absolutely desperate and feels he has no other option. Right now he doesn’t want to burn the bridge he has with you, as in a worst case scenario he will get back with you.
Like he is thinking “Sigh, I cant find love with a 100 other girls, I suppose I will get back with Rihanna, but it will suck. At least she will love me and I will get some sex from her until someone better comes along”
I don’t know. I just think the worst about this guy and have always felt you deserve so much better than him
My one year breakup date is tomorrow 🙁 Robot is right over the 100 pages or so of this thread the topic has changed. However I have some thoughts for my journal tonight which I may share tomorrow. But we have all moved on to various degrees and in much better places then where we were 360 odd days ago straight after our breakup.
Yeah lots of potential…like being closer to me 😛 Only a 2 hour flight away and airfares can be very cheap. Right now there is no direct flight to her city and it can take a minimum of 6 hours (Not including transit time)
Hey Rihanna,
Advise for renting. Never commit to a place until you have seen it in person and met the other flatmates. This may be the right place for you, but you don’t have to commit until you have visited it. Just tell the guy that. If he is being genuine he will understand. I am guessing the reason he is being nice is because he has seen your photo and thinking you are super attractive (And yes you are very attractive!!! and that is me saying that without any alcohol in me) he will be able to make the move on you, once you are living together.
Over the years I have made many flatting mistakes including committing to a place before seeing it. I did this to one place as the photos looked amazing, however when I moved in all the other flatmates were smokers and they smoked in the lounge every night and didn’t take kindly to me telling them to stop. The first time I walked into the place it smelt of smoke and I knew I had made a mistake. I only stayed there for a month and when I left all my clothes stunk and it took ages to get the smell out.
Mate, you misunderstood the night. I was very drunk. Seriously why else would I dance unless I had been drinking? No way would any guy get up on the dance floor and flail about like a fish out of water unless he had consumed copious amounts of alcohol. In NZ guys don’t generally dance, we are way to cool for that 😉
Plus at any party when you have had some alcohol all girls are beautiful. So I’m sure this girl at the party in Jan was super attractive with a few drinks. Maybe if you drink again you will meet her again
Rihanna – I’m glad I made you laugh milady
What!!!! 3 weeks without drinking…inconceivable
I command you to go to the pub and buy a whiskey right now. No wonder you have been losing your shit for the last few weeks. I would be too. Get a drink and your life will be so much better
Hi everyone
Hope you are all doing well as we draw near to the 1 year anniversary of a major milestone in our lives.
Raed – Fantastic to see you posting again and to hear that you are doing well. So you have an attraction with an older woman. I know it can work. One of my work colleague is married to a woman who is 10 years older then him. They have been together nearly 20 years and are still very happy. I have meet his wife and she is a very intelligent woman. She is a doctor and head of her department at the hospital she works at. He got married when he was 26 and she was 36. They have one child. He said he use to get a lot of hassles from friends about it, but he told me that most of his friends have gone through breakup and divorce while they stayed strong and very much in love. Guess it goes to show age is not a thing when it comes to love.
Not much to say from my end. My life has been very uneventful over the past few weeks. The rain season has started early here and in doing so limited the outdoor activities that I enjoy. The last few weekends have been more watch movies, stay at home type weather then get out and explore.
I do have one small story to share. I went out clubbing, 2 weekends ago, with some friends and I was the only guy in my group of friends who was dancing. All the other guys friends sat in a corner and drunk. So I was dancing with all the girls from the group of friends (About 5 girls and me). At the end of the night I got a taxi home with one of the girls. Was all innocent as I only saw her as a friend, until we got to her house. She lives in the same suburb as me. When she got out of the taxi, she gives me a full on kiss on the lips for about 5 seconds and tells me “that was a thank you kiss for the dancing and treating her like a gentleman” It definitely put a smile on my face as it was a very nice kiss. However I think it was just a drunk kiss too as I have seen her a couple of times since then and no mention of the kiss and we have been normal around each other. But I tell you for about 3 -4 days after that night I didn’t think about my Ex at all, I was thinking about the kiss…hahaha
Yeah too many secrets shared here….LOL. Even my closest friend doesn’t know the full extent of my struggles. He knows I still have bad days missing my Ex however.
The main thing I like about this forum is it has given me a chance to continuously vent over and over and over to the point that I sound like a stuck record and no one objects. If my real life friends knew how much I think about my Ex it would drive them away. Here I come along repeat what I probably said last week and I have done so for nearly a year and everyone still very supportive
I wish I could offer solid advice, but can only say this “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst” Last year I sent the letter to my Ex after a couple of months of NC. I never heard back from her. I know she got it as she told some mutual friends of ours that she had received it. You may never hear back from her and you may have to prepare yourself for that. Wish I could offer more encouraging words. Just keep working on yourself and living life
I think deep down I feel the same way. That I may not find another girl like my Ex and I will have to settle for second best. I know why her new boyfriend is so happy in all the photos, because he really has caught himself a great girl
🙁
LOL….she must look so beautiful and the sex must of been so amazing for you to be like this. Pity I cant see a picture of her with her legs in the air so I can see why she drives you crazy. Otherwise I would say forget about her, she not worth it. But I can imagine the sex was great
Wow Robot, that is some insane shit that you did there. Totally insane. Sadly I know how you feel, because even lately I get these impulses to go visit my Ex. About 3 weeks ago there was a party I knew she was going to be at. I was sooo tempted to go to this party just so I could talk with her. I didn’t but the temptation to go was very strong. It takes will power to resist. ‘
I would like to say I am staying completely strong in staying NC, but even I have weakness. I still Facebook stalk every 3 -4 weeks. Over the weekend during my self pity moment I looked at her profile. Her new cover photo is off her in a ball dress in the arms of her boyfriend. She is a very attractive girl. I have always thought that, but this photo just highlights her beauty. I hate the photo as they both look so happy together. What made it worst is the boyfriends mother has commented on the photo saying “thank you for coming into her sons life as he has never been so happy and my Ex is the best thing ever to happen to that family”. My Ex liked the comment and replied that “it is also the happiest she has ever been in life and she loves being a part of their family”. It just rubbed it in my face as she use to tell me that she was so happy with me. If I ever needed a final nail in the coffin that the relationship was completely over this should be it.
I totally believe once I find a girl who makes me go Wow!!! all these desires I have for my Ex will disappear. As I keep telling myself “It has nearly been a year for fuck sakes, she has completely moved on. I should too”
I don’t know what it is but the last year I have found it difficult to connect with girls. I go to a few bars, either by myself or with friends and in the last year I have never had a girl approach me. I haven’t had any luck approaching girls either in a bar, but that was never really my scene. But even new girls I meet I don’t feel any chemistry between us. I am jealous that you had an opportunity with a girl at this bar and all the other girls you have been talking too
Hi everyone
Glad to see you regularly posting again Rihanna. It sounds like you are in an interesting situation at the moment. You have found your one true love yet he doesn’t feel like he is ready to commit to a relationship. It’s good that you have decided you will wait for him until he is ready, even if it takes a long time, even years. Good on you for passing up on other guys and not even being interested in going out on dates with them so you can save yourself for your one true love. Because he is the One why waste your time with other guys.
Robot – Don’t take any notice of how your Ex looks in her Facebook photos. It has been proven time and time again that people will always make themselves appear more happier then they truly are when it comes to posting on photos online. I have done it myself. It is even recommended by Kevin to do it in his emails. So why wouldn’t your Ex do the same thing. Post all these pictures of her being happy, but you don’t really know what is going on in her life. Keep working on your new relationship and I hope to hear some solid updates about this soon
Not much happening in my life. I did go on 2 dates with a girl over Easter weekend, but once again the spark wasn’t there for me. She seemed like a nice girl and even after the 2nd date I was like should I call her or not for a 3rd date. I ended up texting her, but she must of been feeling the same way as she text back and said she didn’t see anything romantically between us. At least I got out there again.
Still have ups and down days thinking about my Ex. This weekend just gone was tough, because all my friends were busy with different stuff. So I spent the majority of the weekend by myself. It was pouring with rain the entire weekend so I couldn’t do much and I just got thinking about my Ex. Saturday I got in a very bad mental state and ended up drinking on the couch in the evening. I had my first cry in a few months, it really was quite pathetic. I force myself to snap out of it on Sunday and went to the movies by myself just to get out the house. That helped.
Like you Robot, I miss having sex with a girl. I believe once we found that new girl with the X factor we will stop thinking about our Ex and completely move on. Because we are still single it has been tough to let go, when we had something amazing with our Ex and haven’t been able to duplicate it yet.
Hey Robot, what a weird thing for a counsellor to say. You don’t seem like an emergency situation, so you are ok. If you were still up for it I would definitely try somewhere else as that person obviously doesn’t get it. Why waste your time with that person. Find another one, someone who is on the same wave length as you. But what can I say, my parents suggested last year that I get counseling and me being a macho male brushed it off and I haven’t been.
Stop looking at her linkin profile too dude. That’s the mistakes I made last week and it like a knife reopening the wound. Keep away from that shit. Even after not looking at my Ex facebook profile for nearly 3 months. Seeing it again last week just caused a world of hurt. That’s why I stopped looking at it in the first place
In other news, I brought a suit today. I was only planning on spending $150 on it, but went in to the store that specializes and got talked into buying one nearly twice the price…lol. Boy does it feel good and do I look fantastic. I mean I look really good. I’m still wearing it around home.
Next weekend I am going to the horse races with my group of new friends. Its cup day here and one of the friends owns a race horse which is racing so he has got us tickets to some fancy lounge at the race track. Should be a really fun day. I will be able to cross it off as another thing I never did with my Ex, but something I am doing now.
I know Daniel asked me a while back if I was doing these thing to forget about my Ex or doing them for me. I think the answer is both of those. When I keep myself busy doing activities I don’t think about my Ex and it is good for me to get out. Meet new people and rebuild my confidence and self esteem, which took a massive knock after the breakup.
Hey peeps
Loreley – Thanks for the encouragement. Happy birthday for tomorrow (I’m a day ahead of everyone else on these forums so its already the 20th here). Its a pity you have to work. Have you been professionally singing for a while? It would be cool to see a video of your work sometime, if you have anything uploaded on youtube. That’s interesting to hear a friend of you asking you out after knowing you for 8 years. I wonder if he will treat you any different now that you have rejected him. There is another thread on these forums discussing the same situation.
Robot – I feel your pain. I have been sick now 5 days straight and yesterday I was going bonkers. There is only so much lying in bed and watching TV that I can take, plus it has been raining here so I am stuck inside. So my mind starts thinking about my Ex and because I am sick and have no energy I start dwelling on her. Last time I was sick with a flu was just before we officially started dating and she would come around to my house and bring me cooked meals. I was already attracted to her by this stage, but when she started caring for me in this way I knew she was interested also. When I got better I took her out to dinner to thank her and ask her out, which she said yes to her. This time no one other then my parents seem concerned that I am sick and I literally did not talk to a single person for 3 days straight.
Anyway so I was going bonkers yesterday and was on Facebook (Not a good idea when you have in bad mood) and I noticed one of my friends who has been friends with me long before I meet my Ex is now become friends with my Ex’s new man and they have been having big conversations on Facebook and doing stuff together. I’m like WTF and admittedly get a little pissed off. This friend I see occasionally and I was the one who introduced him to that social circle, but now he spends more time hanging out with my Ex and her friends then me.
Anyway I couldn’t help myself but had to Facebook stalk my Ex. The first since the new year. I got very down to see my Ex with lots of photos of her and new guy. So many things she is doing with this new guy that just seem contradict what she told me when dating. She told me she likes to take things slow, which we did. It took us 4 months before we had sex. She has rushed into this new relationship and moved in with him after 2 months of dating. She told me she thought it corny of couples posting selfies off themselves on Facebook. Yet here she is doing it all the time now. They have now been together 5 months and look very happy together. It was just another shovel of dirt on the grave of our former relationship and I highly recommend to people…keep the fuck off your Ex facebook page. It only ruins your vibe
My problem is I have too much time on my hands while being sick. At least today, I am feeling better and it sunny again so I will go outside and sit in the sun. Doctor has given me pills which seem to be working so hopefully I will be able to start doing things again like work soon
