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Here is what I think, when you broke NC she got her fix and now she is fine.
I am no brain scientist, but I think the process that someone has to go thru before they come back for good goes like this:
When someone starts to want us back that belief has to be reinforced a over and over in their mind before you talk to them, the time of NC is meant to do that, the more desperate she becomes the more this belief is set in her brain, so because this belief is still weak in her mind, she got her fix and now is back to being unsure. You need to go back to NC and stick to it for 30 days, so that the process takes place.
Yes, I think that makes sense and it will give her more time to forget the bad stuff that happened.
I hope it all works out for you!
Mema,
“One of the most courageous decisions you will ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting you heart and soul” – Brigitte Nicole
I wasted years in a relationship that never become what I wanted. I wish I had walked away from it way way sooner than I did. What a waste of my life that I will never get back 🙁
Yes, you need to wait a lot longer. If she is still in this mindset, she will not be receptive to the letter.
Yes, she is right. Just sit on it and let time pass for now, by focusing on yourself. It will be okay 🙂
I think you are living too much in your head. There is a book called “The way of the peaceful warrior” might help you if you read it.
Why would you want to be with someone that takes a restraining order against you? As much we want a person to be with us, there are two main rules about having a relationship, both people have to want to be in it, you know what I mean? and as much as it hurst sometimes we need accept that and move on, some people come into our lives to help us learn lessons, so that when the right person shows up we are ready.
I can tell you that I have been in relationships with people who left me and at the time I was sure that I would never get over them and there would be nobody else in the world better. As I look back on these past relationships and the lessons I have learned, I am glad I went thru the struggle and the pain and most of all I am SO SO glad these people left me, otherwise I would have had a miserable life with them and would never have met the other people that came after them and actually made me happy.
I guess I am just trying to tell you that is not the end of the world, even if it seems like it today. Don’t focus all your energy on someone who may not want to be with you.
You need to work on stop worrying so much about the future and what could happen, live for today because that is we have 🙂I would continue NC, you need to give her some space, because first she was chasing you then you chase her. You both need some space to rebalance things .
Stop looking for excuses to contact him, text a friend instead.
you need stay strong, contacting him now is only going to set you back. And most likely it will not have the desired outcome you are looking for 🙁
It does not mean he does not care, it does not mean he has forgotten about you, it just that he does not want to talk to you right now.
It will pass, just hang in there!
You are getting ahead of yourself. Wait and see how you feel in Jan… try to think from her perspective, how long would it take to forget some of the stuff that happened?
I think you still need to do more work on focusing on yourself.
Yes I had read your story before.
I am sorry, I think part of your problem is that you communication style is too overwhelming. Even your response above is literally too much, when I see it I don’t even want to read it 🙁
I am not trying to be mean, just giving you some feedback.I think this is a good part of the problem as to why you are in the situation you are in.
Please work on yourself to address that, otherwise you are going to have the same problem in every relationship.I already gave you feedback on the letter several times, you just need to take what people are saying to you and make decisions on your own.
Good luck to you!
okay here is my suggestion. Mind you this is only a suggestion, you are the one who knows your situation best, so it is up to you in the end to decide what is best for you.
I deleted all the stuff you said about the new things because you want to peak her interest and then you can say that in person, if she decides to meet up.
You also need to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that she may not want to meet up.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.Hi this is Sean.
This letter isn’t set out to try and hurt you, or even try to trick you, it’s simply a few things I wanted to say. I just ask that you give me the courtesy of reading it.
I think you made the right decision at the time to end the relationship. I believe I was very immature back then and not really ready to be in one.
I’m very sorry for the things I did in the past,for the childish words that I used after you found the apps.
I never meant to threaten or pressure you to come back it just came out wrong because I didn’t know how to act back then. Same goes for my actions after and during the break up, they weren’t meant to make you jealous and I truthfully now know that I should have just listened to my heart and not what others said to do. I was scared because you were my first girlfriend which made my actions become very childish. I understand what I had done to wrong you and I’m apologizing from the bottom of my heart .You have shown me many possibilities in life and shown me many great things. You have made me smile, you have made me happy, and above all you have made me love you…and that’s what life is…and I will never forget this.
Do you remember when you asked me if we were a good couple ? Well my answer to that is yes. Good couples may not have fights ever but maybe that’s because they are not communicating their feelings. Great couples like I believe we were besides from our last fight are able to overcome any obstacle .
You gave me confidence to pass my pilot test because I knew someone that loved me was cheering me on. I never had fear flying because if anything ever got scary I can just think of going home to you and all the troubles in the world would go away. Just like I hope I gave you the confidence to do better at school and go to your exam you woke up late for.
Do you also remember when we used to be scared that maybe one or the other doesn’t like each other as much. I promised you that day I love you without an inch of doubt in me and I will walk through hell for you. Well I’d like to think that I at least metaphorically did that these past couple months having to experience life without you .I know this is a lot to ask of you given what has happened between us, but I would like you to think about possibly meeting up sometime just as a friend and catch up a bit. There a lot of new exciting things happening in my life and I would like to share the exciting news with you.
I will give you some time to think about it and when you are ready, get in touch with me. If I don’t hear from you then I will assume this is not something you want to do, I will understand and will not bother you again.I do wish you the best in life and I thank you for all the fun times we had.
