Boards No Contact Rule Reached 30 days of NC and He contacted me.

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  • #19198
    Loreley
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    • Total Posts: 67

    Now I reached the 30 days of NC and out of sudden last night he contacted me again. Asked how am I doin and so on. He said he’s fine now with himself and come along if we could have a bit contact. I was like wtf. I said after ups and downs for a month, I cant be friends with him. Never will be. Because I think he’s just not worth my time, tears and so on. I do still have feelings because our time wasnt easy but well no no. I feel regret to reply his email. But I took that as a closure to myself. He said it’s pity that I cant be friends and he said I’m unmature. Who cares?! He said I am still special for him and no matter if he would already be with new gf or even have a wife, i am always welcome to contact him. He’s crazy.

    Good luck to everyone. Don’t give up. Even sometimes I still went to bed with tears.. At the end I’ll be fine.

    #19271
    Maria
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    Happy to hear how strong you sound!

    #19285
    Loreley
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 67

    Hey @Maria thank you. I think if he really loved me, he would never act like that and make me suffer for those damn two years. He was not an ex bf. He was an ex fiancé. For God’s sake. He suddenly showed off how fine he is right now and said he comes a long to have a contact with me. I can’t be friends with someone whom I’m still in love with. So 30 days of NC for him seems like making him move on. Or he might play a game. I dont know. I really want to forget him.

    Any thoughts?

    #19290
    Loreley
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 67

    The reason why he contactedme because we had long time and intensive connection. Our time was not easy. So he wanted to know if i am doing fine. He asked to meet on skype (since we live far away) I said no I cant.

    He said it’s pity that I think my part in his life is done. He said he hopes soon I can see him like a normal person around me. Not a monster nor bad person who wants to hurt me or fight with me. He was cold. He was in distant. He was completely different. Not needy and clingy anymore. I was the dumper yes. Do you think he tried to be cool?

    #19343
    Loreley
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    • Total Posts: 67

    Well. It’s weird to look back how things were completely different month ago..

    #19344
    Tee-roy
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 55

    From the way i look at it. He already has the tables turned. I mean if you were the one who dumped him and had him chase you that would have hurt him a lot. Maybe during your course of NC that hurting turned into anger. It could be that he’s getting back at you for what happened. From the looks of it, he’s trying to make you feel what it felt when you dumped him, the only uncertainty is, whether he’s doing it before he totally forgets about you or he’s doing it so you can apologize for your mistakes.

    #19347
    Loreley
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 67

    Nah I dont think he hates me.. Because he said he doesnt hate me and he said he deserves to treated like that. He said he deserves that I hate him. He said he’s not angry at all because he has no reasons. Why I should apologize if he was the one doin mistakes?

    #19366
    Maria
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    The tables have turned and nobody likes that. I had an ex (husband) whom I begged to stay and work on our relationship and he refused. Once I started moving on, you would not believe how many times he tried to get back together, even a week after our divorce he wanted to start dating me again?!! WTF!!

    He just doenst like it that now you have the control, and him wanting to be friends with you is his way to still have you there at arms reach, that way if he decides he wants you again he knows he could probably have you.
    But oh how things change once we don’t care that much! lol

    I think you are doing the right thing, by not being friends with him. When people make decisions, we have to let them suffer the consequences of their actions!

    I would try to keep going on your NC, he will probably keep trying to be friends.

    #19926
    Loreley
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 67

    Long story short, my ex joined a well-known dating site. He said he’s looking for life partner. Wow wow wow. He’s looking for someone whos into serious relationship. He voted for many pictures of many girls. What’s going on? I asked myself for few minutes before closed my screen. Is he really over me? I am now typing while no crying. I feel kinda numb. Idk if it’s good or not. I hope it is. Seems like my ex fiancé is really fine without me. Already. After only 5 weeks.

    #19972
    Maria
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    He is doing it to not have to think about you. That’s how a lot of guys deal with it.

    I am sure is going to make you cry later, just be prepared for it.

    #19977
    Loreley
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 67

    I’m somehow sure about that too. Sooner or later. I even dont know what is the best way. Hate him or forgive him in order to move forward with my life.

    #20477
    Maria
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 84

    It will happen without you making a decision about it. Sometimes is mixed, there used to be days I hated him and days I forgave him, eventually there was no more feeling either way, it was just indifference and that is when I knew I was done 🙂

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