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Agree with Hells,
You have to force yourself to work on improving all the other areas of your life.
And some of it is, just telling yourself that you will be okay even if she does not come back, it sucks! but you have to do it because otherwise you will just prolong your suffering.@ Aphorodite, I made it to 90 days on NC and decided not to contact him. He never made contact during that time 🙁 and there are too many things against reuniting: short relationship 2 months, long distance, I chased too much etc. I am feeling much better, and right now I am just feeling like if we end up bumping into each other in the future great, if not then I don’t want to put myself thru that pain again.
I have gone out on a couple dates here and there, nothing promising, but it is a good distraction!I wish more people would post success stories, because sometimes it seems that it does not work out most of the time 🙁
You seem to be focusing too much on the little things that are said; if you said the right thing, did she mean something else etc.etc as if the right words would change the situation….
If you focus on the bigger picture, it will help you not be so dependent on being perfect.I agree, start NC now. Because now they know you are not just ignoring them to be mean.
Work on yourself, you sound way too emotionally dependent on every little thing is being said. Use the NC to get healthy again.
Agreed, start with light contact and go from there!
LAbound I am you make me laugh sometimes! lol
Clear, you sound really unbalanced and whatever you do right now is going to look needy and desperate. You best plan is to just stay quiet for a while, it is really hard I know, but sometimes silence speaks volumes. Do NC for 30 days and then you can decide what you want to do if anything.
I wrote a letter to my ex that sounded needy and phatetic and after I just wanted to take all back, and wanted to send an additional text and tell him that I was moving on etc, just like what you are describing. My friend luckily told me not to do anything and to just stay quiet for a while. I did 30 days and at the end of those 30 days I was glad I did not say anything else.
You really just need to start working on yourself for now. Work out, eat good food, stop looking at her social media for hidden messages! lol read, sleep, spend time with good friends all that stuff helps.
Just follow the plan, it will be okay 🙂I would be a good idea, if you both let them initiate the communication and only respond sometimes. If you want to get girls to chase you, the best way to do that is to ignore them sometimes.
But don’t just ignore them to ignore them, have a life full of things to do that sometimes you don’t have time to reply, you know what I mean?The best thing you can do is to improve yourself and get social proof of how desirable you are, your exes will start questioning themselves of their decisions. And in the end if they don’t come around than you will already be having a good life!
Of course she is missing the relationship and she most likely is just making sure you are not gone for good.
And yes it can be reversed, but you have to make sure the change is permanent and that she sees it herself, in other words don’t tell her you changed, girls have a tendency to know when you are trying to “sell” us on something and we don’t like that.I don’t know, but I can tell you that me as a girl if I start feeling receptive towards someone and start inviting them into my life, they have to walk in very very slow, otherwise it freaks me out and I run the other way.
I would not give her ultimatums, I would not do anything, keep on moving forward, don’t sit around waiting for anyone. If she decides to be with you then she will come around.
I also agree with Kellanved, that we do forget things eventually.
I think maybe talking too much about the past has brought on bad feelings, is important to start a “new” relationship with the person when you are doing the false friendship.
Give her the time, there is really nothing you can do right now, keep working on yourself and see what happens.Happy New Year Everyone!!
When you think about it this whole thing is simple.
Don’t contact them.
Work on yourself
Move forwardIf they chose not to be with us, we will still live and our lives will be better regardless 🙂
It will happen without you making a decision about it. Sometimes is mixed, there used to be days I hated him and days I forgave him, eventually there was no more feeling either way, it was just indifference and that is when I knew I was done 🙂
He is doing it to not have to think about you. That’s how a lot of guys deal with it.
I am sure is going to make you cry later, just be prepared for it.
The tables have turned and nobody likes that. I had an ex (husband) whom I begged to stay and work on our relationship and he refused. Once I started moving on, you would not believe how many times he tried to get back together, even a week after our divorce he wanted to start dating me again?!! WTF!!
He just doenst like it that now you have the control, and him wanting to be friends with you is his way to still have you there at arms reach, that way if he decides he wants you again he knows he could probably have you.
But oh how things change once we don’t care that much! lolI think you are doing the right thing, by not being friends with him. When people make decisions, we have to let them suffer the consequences of their actions!
I would try to keep going on your NC, he will probably keep trying to be friends.
