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Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve been on this site.
I started all like you. All I want to say is that if you’re feeling down don’t worry. Time heals everything (NC). Especially for those that get the feeling they won’t be getting back with their ex. I didn’t end up getting her back. But nc made me realize that I wasn’t happy with her either. But my feels of attachment made it hard for me to realize that.
Couple days ago I ran into my ex at the gym with her new bf. Hadn’t seen her in about 6 months. When I saw her so many things went through my mind. Seeing her with another man made me think that at one point in my life she was soo important to me and today while I looked at her she was a stranger to me. I didn’t know who she was when at one point I knew everything about her.
Nevertheless, I didn’t not feel anything for her. No old feelings no feeling hurt no nothing or attraction .. She was just like any other stranger in that gym. That’s when I knew I was completely and absolutly over her. She no longer hunted my mind and my dreams. It’s a good feeling.
I got this far without even knowing. One day you just stop thinking about what’s unimportant. What doesn’t deserve your attention.
Ontop of that all my friends that were with me came to be me and said three words that made day “she downgraded bro” surround yourself with people that care about you. You’ll be ok
Confused_girl
Don’t loose hope. Stick to NC it works, it will give you what you truely need right now and that is to work on yourself.
Don’t work about the rebound relationship. Like Kevin said, they don’t last long.. My ex was in one too and it didn’t last. What’s happening is that your ex is in a rebound becuase he’s not ready to be alone, needs someone to take your spot since your left a pretty big whole in his life.. He’s truely looking for you in this new person. Which means he’s not over you.. Becuase there’s only one person like you and that’s you.
It’s hard to get over someone is just a few days or even weeks so trust me he’s struggling just like you.. Especially if he’s messaging you.
Stay faithful to NC my best advice.
Good luck
Sorry for the late reply. I was in your shoes about 5 months ago and you did the right choice deleting her. It keeps your mentality healthy. I didn’t have the courage to Detlete her off snap chat and it messed with me bad. Anyways in my opinion, don’t add her back. She’ll know you’ve been thinking of her if you add her.
If you worry that she won’t see how good your doing now becuase she’s not following you on these social sites, no worries believe me she’s been stocking you. She’ll see and fund out everything
Morvarid
Nice to hear from you! Yes time flys even in our situation. So happy to hear your doing great. It feels great when you can have a full night sleep. It only gets better from here that’s what I believe. We’ll take care, always nice to hear from the people you started NC with 🙂
Wow. Were has time gone. It’s been about 5 months now since my break up. I’ve learned so much about myself and how to be in a healthy relationship. Thanks Kevin.
Hope everyone is doing fine, wish you all the best.
I don’t get on as much anymore but i wonder if any of the people I started with still here. If you guys are reading this is like to hear from you guys and how you’re all doing.
Today I was thinking.
Time has past since my break up. Whenever I think about it now it just feel like it never happened. If it was just a dream. I see her and we are only strangers.
About a month it more ago I wrote on here that I couldn’t engage with women anymore. Not becuase I don’t have game but becuase I didn’t have the desire to go after anyone even if I really wanted too.
Yesterday some friends and I met lots of new people and an event. Glad to say that I know have to ambition to go after girls. Unfortunately, the three girls I picked out all had bfs and I respect that so no numbers. However I did talk to them and introduced my self. I can’t wait for another time like this for me to get out there again.
bguarino,
Yes I tried the five step plan. I can’t say it didn’t work becuase in a way it did work.
My situation was complex. My ex started seeing someone else after we broke up and I think she’s still seeing him.
Well after NC I sent her a letter. Shortly after that I ran into her at the gym. I could tell the letter worked becuase she was eager to talk to me.
What happened was that I realized that I didn’t want her back. She had changed and so had I. I actually found her annoying as she rambled on and on. Our life’s won’t be compatible with each other’s. So I decided to move on.
It’s hard something becuase I still picture the girl I fell in love with in my memories. But I’m learning to let go.
Hey guys,
Haven’t heard from you guys. Hope you’re all doing well!
It’s been a couple months since my break up. I can say I’m strong and have recovered from it. Today I stumbled on some pictures of my ex and I couldn’t recognize her. She was a stranger to me. Literally. She’s been out of my life that much that she’s only a memory. A memory that feels like it never happened.
It’s crazy when you look back. The person you were so close to, told everything to, never apart, and knew her like the palm of your hand…all of a sudden, you have no idea who she is. I’m sure she feels the same about me. We are strangers again.
I’ve been actively talking to girls. More like friends. I still don’t feel like I’m ready for a relationship but I will soon.
Hey guys,
It’s been a while since anyone has posted anything. I hope you’re all doing well.
I’ve been good still working on moving on and it’s going well. It becomes easier and easier everyday.
Something happened today that really caught me off gaurd. I was looking at some pictures on my phone when I got to a video I didn’t recognize. I glanced at the frames and it was a short clip or my ex and I. It shocked me becuase I had thought I deleted evey picture and video of her! Guess this one got away.
Tempted and scared that this might mess me up I gave in and played it.
No worries though, I have good news. As I watched the clip..it actually brought a smile to my face. I always felt like I was the worst BF to her becuase that how she made me feel after the break up and watching this clip proved her wrong. I cared and loved her and I expressed it.
Indeed I had great times with my ex. But that’s all in the past. They are only memories. It made me smile but didn’t make me miss her whatsoever or made me get anger.
Overall, (can’t believe I’m saying this but) we dated and what we had was real and I don’t regret dating her. However we grew apart..that’s the truth. It’s all in the past now.
Time to move on
Julia,
Yes. I’m sure of these feelings. I had all day to think about it. It’s weird feeling becuase well it’s over. Even though our relationship ended there was still a possibility of getting back together but not anymore. It’s all over.
Good luck and I wish you the best. I know well both get through this
Julia,
I wish there was a way we can direct message. I have a feeling we’d get into some deep conversations.
What you say is true. I haven’t thought about it that way. My ex was not good at handling emotional things. She was the worst at it. You made me think and yeah it can be true. This could be a phase but after thinking all day about it. Asking myself if I’m hurting becuase I still secretly love her? And the answer is no. I removed this other person she is seeing and just focused on her and no I don’t.
I miss companionship. But I don’t miss her as my gf.
What I’m trying to get at is…whether she is going through a phase or not, I don’t want to be back with her. (Honestly this surprised me) during this time I always thought that deep down inside I secretly wanted her back but no. Removing all the pain and sorrow she put me through I still don’t. I guess there were things about our relationship that I wasn’t happy about. Things about her character. But I just stayed with her hoping things would go away. But they never did. When she ask for a break up I panicked and immediately wanted her with me…I guess we are getting into something else now.
But the truth is she’s living her life. I should stop think what’s she’s doing or wonder of her even if it’s every now and then. I should live mine to. Too the fullest.
Today I found out more things about this new guy and my ex. I won’t share becuase it’s irralavent but at first it kinda hurt but then this feeling of peace came into my hart.
I don’t know how to explain it but I all of a sudden I didn’t care about my ex business with this other guy. And I don’t have this anger for her. (At least right now) haha.
I realized how to move on from this and it’s through simply forgetting about her. And this means the pain, anger, and any other feelings. I’m sure there is more to it but these are the first steps.
This is just my situation however.
Thank Julia, you’ve helped me so much. Look at you! I’m proud of you. You’re matured so much. Any guy would be lucky to have a smart girl like you. Shame on your ex for not knowing what he gave up on.
Now how are you? Have you heard anything from your email?
Julia,
You defiantly gave me a to think about. That’s very deep. The truth is I have a lot of resentment towards my ex. For putting me through what she put me through and for doing what’s she doing now.
I think this is why I despise her. She did change. Her attitude and her words. When she was with me she was a doll. Sweet innocent funny simple cute girl. Just how I like them. She sounded like a brat bragging about herself. I was so annoyed. She also said “I’ve stopped expecting too much from relationships..sorry that must be awkward” that really pissed me off. Her personality changed overall.To this day I don’t think she cares about myself whatsoever. I texted her after and she was so short in response.
After the letter and the day I bumped into her I knew I had to move on.
As for your last question. No, I see anger will just hold us back. But how can you let go of something like this? I don’t know if I can it’s too much. But if there is a way, for the sake of moving on, then I would try it.
Julia,
Honestly it think it might be a little of both. I can’t say I’ve moved on because I haven’t yet. But I’m most defiantly working on it. I was doing well until I started having dreams of her. That just brought back memories and made things harder.
I wouldn’t be in such an emotional mess if she wasn’t what she is now. She put me through a lot. And even now that we are not together anymore she still is. It gets me angry to think how she turned like this. No I don’t want her but it’s the memories that haunt me at times. I despise who she is now.
I’ll get through this. Just need time.
Hi everyone.
The past few mornings have been tough. I haven’t had moments like this in soooo loong. I feel like my mentally in my first few days of NC. It’s not me though..it’s my subconscious. I’ve been having dreams of her back to back. I can’t handle it. In the dream I see myself trying to win her over like the first few weeks after our break up. During those time I went through a lot. I had lost my confidence, I was insecure, I desprately wanted her to like me that I focused my happiness on that. So I was always feeling horrible. So much pain…having these dreams only reminded me of the pain I went through. In the dreams my ex tells me she’s had enough of me bugging her and wants me out of her life. And on top of that she’s seeing someone else in the dream also.
Of course I begin to feel this horrible pain of hart brokenness in the dream. After this I wake up…how the heck am I suppose to comeback from this.
I doing better now but I just hate these dreams. I just had to remind myself why I wouldn’t be happy with her. She’s changed. She’s not the girl I dated. I find her annoying, immature, and despite her decision making. On top of that I don’t find her phyically attracting anymore. Above all, she’s so stubborn! I could never deal with that.
I think I feel much better now. Back to my day.
