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Thank you Athens.
My Ex’s rebound relationship is over. She told me only two weeks in to it that she had no real connection with the guy and that she had already had doubts about it. I don’t know if me saying how I really felt about this relationship of hers a few weeks later had some effect on her dumping him and really missing me, but up until that point it seemed like she was having her cake and eating it.
I am more concerned about another guy who I think she might have been seeing before that as he really is a ****head but seems to continue to cause her numerous problems that she asks me to help her out with. She told me that this fella was a family friend, but I think that it was another rebound relationship where she actually did have a good connection with the guy until he became obsessive about her still having contact with me. She told him that she would not stop talking to me and he started getting very nasty towards her and her daughter online because of this.
I haven’t heard from my Ex since Monday and think that she is confused and probably a bit depressed about things at the moment.
I still have hope that me and my Ex do still have something special between us and that things can work themselves out, but I’m not sure on how or when my chance might come. I am glad that I have stood up to her on certain issues and become less of a walkover. Hopefully she can learn to respect that again.
Hey,
Today is my 7th day of NC. I am glad I made it one week without having any contact with him. I am having so many thoughts about my relationship with ex. For a moment I’ll think that he is my life and I love him way too much and the other moment I’ll be confused thinking that the reason for break up was not justified. Anyways, I really hope that this no contact period gives me the time and strength to deal with my life with the right attitude. I am also struggling during this NC. Its tough for me too, but I understand doing anything stupid wont make him come back to me. And I certainly understand that life moves on “No Matter What”. So be positive guys, Give Time Some Time 😉 🙂
Day 4 of NC. Slept okay last night (been having ‘bad’ dreams recently relating to my gf since the breakup) but the mornings always seem to present unwanted issues for me. Whether I dream or not, I always wake up feeling pretty empty and alone, it’s a strange time really, and usually takes me a couple of hours to start feeling any kind of ‘normal’ again. I had a weak moment on the journey to work were I actually imagined her being with me in that moment and it was brought on completely spontaneously. Stuff like that seems to happen often and almost always puts me into a bad mood straight away.
Work itself is always better when i’m busy I guess, anything else to occupy my brain is always welcome. Im not too thrilled with my job overall but at least it’s ‘ok’ money and is a pretty safe position. I go through ups & downs during most work days but almost always end up going home feeling a tad more positive than the morning. I even went and bought myself a new suit after work tonight which looks pretty great on me :p so I was pleased about that regardless.
Evenings typically start out well when I have dinner and spend a little time with family, though when the night draws in is when more doubts start to swirl around in my head when I think about the current situation and which actions I should be taking. I’m never sure, from day to say, whether what i’m doing is right or wrong, and thats another part of the battle for me. Reading this website, along with partaking in one or two more activities that I enjoy (i.e. video games, watching sports) helps settles me down a little before it’s bedtime. I try my best to switch off completely when I get into bed and usually fall asleep right away.. and hope I don’t dream again!
Tomorrow is another day..
NC, Day 4, Round 2.
I keep feeling confident that this is going to work, but slowly. He is now contacting daily via snapchat. His actions are saying he is still in love with me and still cares. He did ask the other day if I even wanted to talk to him, I broke the NC rule and told him I’ve been busy lately, when I told him I’ve been hanging with my friends again he sounded surprised. But today, as the day went on, he was on my mind all day, and just an hour ago, I broke down and started crying. I started over thinking and I just felt that I was going insane. My friend also agreed and got me calmed down. Right now, the only thing I know what to do is just focus on me and give it more time. I want my relationship back so much, I know why we broke up, I know it can be fixed, I’m just having trouble putting it all together.
I feel weird lately, his birthday is coming up, and before we broke up, I planned on spending the day with him, like he did on my birthday. He is in a rebound relationship with a coworker, which makes me extremely uncomfortable, but also confuses me cause he contacts me daily. I feel as though I have my thoughts together one minute, then all over the place hours later. The other night, I dreamt that we were back together, and our feelings came back and were stronger than eve, and we were closer than before. I have a lot of faith in our relationship.
I would like to hear some input on my situation, I noticed people on this site are a lot nicer and more helpful than any other relationship help site.
Your situation sounds promising and your Ex is far from being over you if contacting you every day.
You might want to mix things up a bit with him. Try blowing hot and cold for a while after your period of NC finishes and see what happens.
I just messaged my Ex at 2am in the morning saying that I missed her and was a little worried about her but I understood if she didn’t want to talk. It is the first time that she has heard that I have been missing her for a couple of months I think and I although it went against most of the advice handed out here I thunk that she needed to hear it right now.
She messaged me back saying sorry and that she did want to talk and added a kiss to tge end of one of the messages that she has sent me for the first time in a month.
I thought I was doing totally the wrong thing by sending the type of message that I just sent her and fought with myself prior to sending it, but it appears to have not gone down too badly.
Hopefully it will give her the courage to pursue getting on better terms with me a bit more.
Good luck with your situation. The rebound relationship stuff hurts, especially when you are getting on well with your Ex in the fake friend zone. What exactly has your Ex said about this relationship?
Not much, he brought up something we both loved together. But at first, he was rubbing it in my face and now he’s trying to talk to me more
Confused_girl
Don’t loose hope. Stick to NC it works, it will give you what you truely need right now and that is to work on yourself.
Don’t work about the rebound relationship. Like Kevin said, they don’t last long.. My ex was in one too and it didn’t last. What’s happening is that your ex is in a rebound becuase he’s not ready to be alone, needs someone to take your spot since your left a pretty big whole in his life.. He’s truely looking for you in this new person. Which means he’s not over you.. Becuase there’s only one person like you and that’s you.
It’s hard to get over someone is just a few days or even weeks so trust me he’s struggling just like you.. Especially if he’s messaging you.
Stay faithful to NC my best advice.
Good luck
As @LAbound says, he is not over you. If he was and had mived on to a new relationship where he was happy then you would hardly ever hear from him. It is a good sign but hurtful that he is seeing someone else but still misses you and wishes to message you every day. Friends do not message eachother every day, not even best friends.
My Ex had a rebound relationship with someone that she told me about and who she described as her having no real connection with, while she said she had a great connection with me. During that relationship she was wanting to speak to me everyday and even flirt with me until I put my foot down, told her what I thought of her behaviour and went NC.
I believe that prior to that and less than 2 months after we split she may have moved straight on to a relationship where she did have a connection with the guy she was seeing and was hopeful that she could move on with and forget about me. During the early days of that relationship which I am supposed to be unaware of I hardly heard from my Ex. It wasn’t until this guy started getting upset that she refused to stop all contact with me and getting jealous and nasty towards her about it that me and my Ex worked through that one a bit.
So it still looks far more promising than you think. Remain NC for a while then mix things up for a bit. Don’t be afraid to let him know how you really feel now and again and don’t give.up hope, as he is clearly a long way from being over you yet.
Day 11 of NC. I happened to walk past her on my way home today.
On Tuesday, she acted like everything was normal, talked to me but today, she tried too hard to pretend she didn’t see me. What the hell is going on?
I’m trying so hard to put her out of my mind but I get hurt by the littlest things.
I really want her back, I really love her and I’ve thought about if I want her back.
I do, I really do…I have been working very hard the past month to get my relationship back, and I wasn’t in the right now then. NOw, I’m back to silly, witty self but I’ve matured a lot also. I feel like my work is starting to take shape, but slowly (sad face). But I do still need some time. I am wanting and hoping that him and I will continue our relationship soon.
I love the feedback that I’m getting! It makes me feels very good that my hard work will pay off soon, thank you!
Day 21.. I miss her… I’ve been working on me though.. I don’t think all hope is lost.. She needs space.. Time…
https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/long-distance-relationship-she-needs-space-2-years/
Day 5 of NC. It’s been a pretty positive day really, slept okay and I woke up feeling fine and there were no dramas on my trip into work this time.
I even had an “epiphany moment” around lunch time..
Up until now, I’d been putting so much emphasis on “accepting the breakup” when the realisation hit me that accepting the reason for the breakup was just as important. It was then that I finally had more clarity on what actions I should be taking and when. Ryan Rivers actually mentions this in Part 1 of Relationship Rewind but I never fully grasped it at the time. The sooner that you accept the full circumstances surrounding the breakup the sooner you can formulate your plan of action.
As a result, I’ve come to the conclusion that any potential reconciliation between me and my ex won’t be occurring for a long time, so I need to fully prepare for that eventuality. It’s not ideal, but theres really not much else I can do at this point. The NC will have to continue until mid January, possibly even longer, if I’m going to get over her enough to be able to pursue other potential relationships (or just fully ‘enjoy’ being single) next year. This doesn’t mean I’m giving up, it just means that I really don’t fancy waiting around a long time for her whilst she lives her ‘single’ life, mingles with other men, and generally gets too tied up in her studies for the next 18 months or so. I still love the girl, and a part of me always will, but no matter what happens there’s still light at the end of the tunnel, so there’s no real reason to be too downbeat for long as things stand.
This doesn’t mean that I won’t be having any more ‘weak’ moments, they’ll certainly happen, but like I’ve been telling myself from the start – it’s about taking it one day at a time. She did actually text me this evening (the first time she’s contacted me since Sunday night) just to say “That suit looks nice btw!” (I posted a snap on Snapchat of me in my new suit yesterday, which she obviously saw, but the snap wasn’t sent directly to her) and, of course, I don’t plan to reply. I feel bad about it, and obviously I have doubts about how she’ll react, but i’m just telling myself that it’s the correct thing to do for now!
The weekend should be interesting.
Hi guys.
NC is hard. Why is it that I feel more miserable. And it’s just my what– 4th or 5th day?
I guess it’s harder for me because I’ve been told by my ex-gf to move on and she would accept it if I find someone new. We even talked about the real problem why she does not love me anymore and why she broke up.
Though on my 3rd day of NC, she tries to gets hints from me whether I’m outside and I feel that with the way she texts me she’s seeing if I would want to meet- up with her, in which I politely and indirectly declined. After she did not get anything from me she went back to being silent. I can’t read girls’ minds on my own. So if any ladies are willing to help.. THANK YOU SO MUCH in advance.
I know I posted just Thursday, but I feel like I’m still struggling.
NC, Day 6
My mind is going crazy (over thinking again) and I just want to talk to him, I just want him mine again. I know I need to do NC longer, and I’m trying very hard. I’ve worked very hard to where I am now. My gut tells me that he still has feelings for me and somewhere inside him he wants to be with me and that we will be back together sometime. I do still feel confident that my work will pay off soon, I guess I’m just trying to rush because I’m becoming impatient, but I don’t want to mess things up again
He did not contact me yesterday, but I don’t think 1 day means much.
I would like some advice, as I am confused still
Day 6 of NC. Today has been fine, by and large. I still find myself thinking about her a lot, but at least im quite a bit less emotional when I do!
However, I caved into temptation and had a look at her Facebook, Twitter & Instagram pages this afternoon. I don’t really consider this breaking NC as it’s not direct, ’emotional’ contact but I had told myself when the period started to try and refrain from looking at her online stuff as it could set me back. As it happens, I didn’t find anything emotionally damaging, which is good news. What I will say though is (and I may be reading way too much into this) there’s a couple observations I’ve made when I looked:
Twitter: She’s barely tweeted in the last 3 days, which is slightly unusual for her. I find this interesting because, as part of my NC period, I deliberately set out to be far less active on social media and this includes tweeting from my account multiple times every day. Is it possible that she’s noticed this and followed suit? It just seems like a bit of a coincidence that I’ve only tweeted twice since last Sunday and in the last 3 days she’s only tweeted twice herself, when we were both previously very active on it..
Instagram: I noticed that she has deleted at least two of her posts – one related to my birthday back in July and one relating to the suspected “rebound” guy from two weeks ago. Going further back she still has posts relating to me from the beginning of the year & earlier, so she hasn’t gone on a mass deleting spree, just that one post about my birthday in the summer. The one about the rebound guy getting deleted is interesting though, I didn’t particularly find that one to be much of a big deal and I don’t follow her on Instagram anyway, so she shouldn’t have really felt obligated to get rid of it. She has also been a little less active on it this past week and the posts she has made have all been ‘selfies’ where she’s dolled herself up to look especially sexy. Looking for extra attention, perhaps?
Facebook: She rarely posts on Facebook at all anymore, though she accesses it multiple times a day. All of ‘our’ photos she’s tagged in are still there, including a couple of albums of photos of us in the last few years, so obviously she hasn’t brought herself to delete those (yet? or maybe she just genuinely doesn’t want to..)
Snapchat: She’s posted just two snaps to her ‘story’ all this week and nothing else. A tad strange considering that she usually does it often, and again there’s a possibility that she’s noticed that I’ve been much less active on it myself (just one ‘story’ snap from me all week.)
Again, i’m probably looking into it far too much, but there just seems to be a couple of coincidences there. Is it possible shes trying to keep her actions under wraps a little bit more due to my absence? is she ‘responding’ to this in turn? Interesting, perhaps..
Anyway, this evening I plan on relaxing and heading to bed pretty early. I have no plans for tomorrow, so I’m going to have to try and busy myself somehow!
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