-
Posts
-
LA,
‘despise’ ? Did she really change that much? Well I understand how you feel though. The email I wrote to my ex was full of frustration and disappointment. I even told him that I don’t believe he really loved me. So I guess I do understand when you’r saying you’r angry at her.
But is anger really the key to move on? Or does it hold us back?Omgggg! Went out to have a drink with friends and we decided to drink somewhere near my ex’s office (this wasnt intentional they know the place and j just go along with it) knowing that by that time she’s already out of office and that she wont be there. Buuuuut! When we arrived then look for a place to have a drink. I saw her and i was rattled i didnt know what to do. Luckily we’re a bit too far for her to see me. I was so nervous and my whole body was shaken but yeah i didnt saw her face to face. I am still not ready to face her so I hid in Mcdonalds til they left. Lol. Is that cowardly? Lol
Julia,
You defiantly gave me a to think about. That’s very deep. The truth is I have a lot of resentment towards my ex. For putting me through what she put me through and for doing what’s she doing now.
I think this is why I despise her. She did change. Her attitude and her words. When she was with me she was a doll. Sweet innocent funny simple cute girl. Just how I like them. She sounded like a brat bragging about herself. I was so annoyed. She also said “I’ve stopped expecting too much from relationships..sorry that must be awkward” that really pissed me off. Her personality changed overall.To this day I don’t think she cares about myself whatsoever. I texted her after and she was so short in response.
After the letter and the day I bumped into her I knew I had to move on.
As for your last question. No, I see anger will just hold us back. But how can you let go of something like this? I don’t know if I can it’s too much. But if there is a way, for the sake of moving on, then I would try it.
LA,
Have you ever thought that maybe it’s her reaction to the break up? Even though they broke up with us, doesn’t mean they can handle the situation. My ex even in our last meet up before my NC looked so cool and nonchalant and it was so annoying. It’s like all of sudden you ‘re wondering ‘Who is this guy?’..
I still find myself being angry at him and that no way he deserves my love.
I believe that only time will show if your ex has really changed or this is just a facade.Julia,
I wish there was a way we can direct message. I have a feeling we’d get into some deep conversations.
What you say is true. I haven’t thought about it that way. My ex was not good at handling emotional things. She was the worst at it. You made me think and yeah it can be true. This could be a phase but after thinking all day about it. Asking myself if I’m hurting becuase I still secretly love her? And the answer is no. I removed this other person she is seeing and just focused on her and no I don’t.
I miss companionship. But I don’t miss her as my gf.
What I’m trying to get at is…whether she is going through a phase or not, I don’t want to be back with her. (Honestly this surprised me) during this time I always thought that deep down inside I secretly wanted her back but no. Removing all the pain and sorrow she put me through I still don’t. I guess there were things about our relationship that I wasn’t happy about. Things about her character. But I just stayed with her hoping things would go away. But they never did. When she ask for a break up I panicked and immediately wanted her with me…I guess we are getting into something else now.
But the truth is she’s living her life. I should stop think what’s she’s doing or wonder of her even if it’s every now and then. I should live mine to. Too the fullest.
Today I found out more things about this new guy and my ex. I won’t share becuase it’s irralavent but at first it kinda hurt but then this feeling of peace came into my hart.
I don’t know how to explain it but I all of a sudden I didn’t care about my ex business with this other guy. And I don’t have this anger for her. (At least right now) haha.
I realized how to move on from this and it’s through simply forgetting about her. And this means the pain, anger, and any other feelings. I’m sure there is more to it but these are the first steps.
This is just my situation however.
Thank Julia, you’ve helped me so much. Look at you! I’m proud of you. You’re matured so much. Any guy would be lucky to have a smart girl like you. Shame on your ex for not knowing what he gave up on.
Now how are you? Have you heard anything from your email?
LA,
You definitely sound confident and sure about your feelings. After all that’s the whole point of NC right? Either you realise you don’t want to be with them anymore or you keep fighting.
Regarding my email I actually don’t expect any response. And I don’t think I want to. Even though I was quite harsh in the letter he knows how I feel about him (and yeah he is a damn lucky guy but he doesn’t know it yet :p ) but I am not that sure about him anymore. The fact that I officially stopped fighting for him doesn’t mean I stopped loving him. It’s very difficult to erase 2 and half years.Julia,
Yes. I’m sure of these feelings. I had all day to think about it. It’s weird feeling becuase well it’s over. Even though our relationship ended there was still a possibility of getting back together but not anymore. It’s all over.
Good luck and I wish you the best. I know well both get through this
Hi people. So tomorrow is my ex s birthday. I’m touching 4 weeks of no contact on Monday. Just dropping off a bouquet of roses to her house later, leaving it with her sister. Good idea?
Last night I found out that she contacted my best friend to meet up, last weekend, obviously about us. Is this a good or bad thing? ( he is in a long term relationship and she said she hates him but she is going to these extremes to get in contact with someone in my life?)
Hey guys,
It’s been a while since anyone has posted anything. I hope you’re all doing well.
I’ve been good still working on moving on and it’s going well. It becomes easier and easier everyday.
Something happened today that really caught me off gaurd. I was looking at some pictures on my phone when I got to a video I didn’t recognize. I glanced at the frames and it was a short clip or my ex and I. It shocked me becuase I had thought I deleted evey picture and video of her! Guess this one got away.
Tempted and scared that this might mess me up I gave in and played it.
No worries though, I have good news. As I watched the clip..it actually brought a smile to my face. I always felt like I was the worst BF to her becuase that how she made me feel after the break up and watching this clip proved her wrong. I cared and loved her and I expressed it.
Indeed I had great times with my ex. But that’s all in the past. They are only memories. It made me smile but didn’t make me miss her whatsoever or made me get anger.
Overall, (can’t believe I’m saying this but) we dated and what we had was real and I don’t regret dating her. However we grew apart..that’s the truth. It’s all in the past now.
Time to move on
So my long distance girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me two weeks ago out of the blue. I recently accepted a job in her same city and would be moving near her for the first time in two years. She originally moved away in the first place.
She explained that she doesn’t see a fit with me. My negativity and lack of emotion through the career change discussions drove a divide (5 to 6 months ago she started feeling this way). She felt I didn’t love her and wasn’t committed. I just wanted to consider all possible solutions including her moving to me.
We talked engagement all the time and she never ever told me anything was wrong except very subtle hints. But after these hints she should tell me I was her soulmate and perfect.
Two months ago she started her own business which focuses highly on motivational speaking. She realized then that we might have personality differences. I told her that her business excites me, even though I was skeptical at first. I’ve always been more conservative and patient. She jumps into things 100% and closes other things out.
I’m afraid she through the baby out with the bath water. She is incredibly mentally strong and says her gut says break it off and that she never is wrong and doesn’t look back.
I spent two weeks spilling my heart out and she would talk for hours with me. She says she loves me so much and doesn’t want to stop talking. She said I am her best friend and can’t live without me in her life. However she said we don’t fit each other and my neglect caused to much damage. She loves the way I am emotionally pouring out my heart but feels this isn’t the true me. She also told me not to move to her same city. Ouch. I have to now turn dow n a job that I already accepted. After so much running in circles I decided to go no contact. I told her not to reach out ever, unless she understood the implications (probably error) and I’m now on day 3.
Perspective anyone?
Guys… Please help. PLEASE. So sent her some roses for her birthday(amazing double delight roses) and bought some bones for her dog that I bought fir her a year ago. Today is day 28 NC. she messaged me twice. Just saying thanks for the flowers and then saying a proper thank you for the flowers. Should I reply and say “its a pleasure” or must I not reply.
Please advise
Hey you guys! Its so great to hear from you that are going through the same stuff! Last night was rough – I literally called my bff saying I was feeling horrible and that I wanted to call x. She of course, being the bff that she is, talked me out of it. I’m only on day 6, but i’m just scared it won’t work. I haven’t heard from him at all. He once said he needed space so we didn’t talk for like 2 days – this is literally the longest time we have ever gone without talking/texting/snapchatting. I was always the one to initiate it after the breakup so I know NC is a good thing for me to get over him. But I’m afraid he’ll forget me in 30 days and have moved on completely. Even if it turns out that we just remain friends, I just don’t want to lose him completely.
I NEED YOUR ADVICE!
This is a LDR (internet to person.)
My ex- birthday is in a few days and my birthday is coming up too, and my NC period end one day before my birthday!!! I would like to know:
• Can I wish him happy birthday?
• I feel awkward to initiate contact just one day before my
birthday. I was wondering how would it look not to wish him
on his birthday, and then initiate contact just one day before
my birthday ( my birthday is 3 days after his birthday!!) I
don’t know what to do!!! Please I need advice asap because
his birthday is in a few days!Please advice!
Someone adviced me not to contact and wish him on his birthday even if it one day before my NC period ends. His little one’s birthday is couple of days before his. I was wondering if I just should send a ecard for the little one and not one for him. Just need advice on this. Or is it best to wait till the NC period ( which one day before my birthday) and initiate contact and wish him a belated birthday? or should I wait couple of days, after my birthday, to initiate first contact?
Please advice
Hey anonymous111 I was in the same problem, well kind of. All I did was sent her some roses that said happy birthday. From me. Done, nothing less, nothing more. She then said thanks twice. I was on day 26 at the time and I messaged her on the Monday being my 28 days saying its a pleasure. So try and just send the little one a present and a card for your ex. Drop it off when nobody is there. You want to do it because they mean a lot to you, not because you want recognition
- Total Posts: 15
Day 6 of NC
So last night I’ve listened to songs that reminded me of you. I couldn’t understand word by word what they meant but it triggered every emotion in me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell you how hard it’s been these past 28 days for me. Since the day after your birthday. The day you first wanted to break up with me.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’m stupid. I couldn’t understand your worth. I’m struggling to find my place. The line by line the things you wanted me to change, I’m applying them ever since then. I’m not so alone anymore. I’ve made a lot of friends. I can talk to people more openly. I can speak your language more fluently. I’m taking care of my body.
All the things you wanted me to change, I wanted to tell you all about it. How far I’ve progressed.
I went out, got myself a beer and went to the place we first met. Sat on the same bench we used to sit and share our feelings for hours. I wrote you a letter, I wanted to tell you how difficult it’s been for me. I wanted to say sorry for all the things I’ve done. I wanted to talk to you once again. Even if it’s for the last time.
It’s hard, too hard to bear.
But I cannot heal the poisonous bite I’ve left in you, no matter how I wish to. Only Time can. So I wait, I wait another day.
I’ll wait for you forever.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.