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Spot on Joe. You know about my ex. She contacted me twice and I said it before it was indeed around the time where I was moving on.
It’s like she knew telepathically and would inject.
That’s why I kept saying your ex was going to contact you too. It could be this month or months down.
I’ve had it with other women too and seen it happen to others.
Joe, I replied to you in the bunker thread.
I’ll re copy and paste on current page. It got buried last page after some of my babblings.
The bunker… is a little more anything goes no holds barred area. Just no nude selfies please, Dara!!!
private messaging each other is fine
I don’t know what’s worse, having the break up in May (whole summer ahead nice weather, out and about dating shabang)
Or fall (more honkered down indoors cold)
My break up happened last September.
For me, I was so bitter that I was glad it happened in the fall. But it doesn’t matter really. I was out almost every night in the fall and winter and met a lot of women. And the winter by me was one of the worst on record. It practically snowed everyday with subzero temperatures. It was unheard of.
Anyway, I’m sure there was obviously opportunities for my ex too. I just remember she was always soooo glad it was summer and always be out. So I’m leaning towards summer as being the worst for a break up. For me personally.
I could enjoy myself in the winter or summer so it doesn’t matter on my side.
The Dinner
I know it’s difficult not bringing up the subject about “getting back together”
But if you just stopped thinking, and just had fun, you would of gone home together that night.
She even said “why couldn’t you just have a nice dinner”
And even if you didn’t go home that night with her, she would of been left with a positive thought. That’s a fact. And probably would be happy to go on another date.
The first “after break up” date is waaay to soon to bring up the “getting back together” question or talk like that.
Especially if she didn’t mention any of it at all.
Steve, yeah I understand lol. I could also blabber on about the situation.
If it wasn’t complex or complicated, it would be 2 sentences.
I agree about not waiting for the ex and moving on.
Personally, what I could carry with me is the experience. And I’m not talking baggage.
Only reason I’ve been struggling, or at least enough where I’m trying to come to terms is my ex contacted me 9 months down. These past 4 months while in on and off contact with her screwed with my head.
I actually hope she doesn’t contact me again. I’m contempt how it left off 3 weeks ago when I last spoke to her.
Also Steve, worth noting she changed her number last November. 7 months later contacted me.
When she doesn’t get my attention, she’s reaches out. Then she text barrages me. When I give her attention she acts cold. So F that. I’m in NC. 3 weeks now. Trust me I want to contact her but I won’t.
These past 4 months we would drunk text/call each other. Even if she gave a little NC and I did. We both broke it. But now I put my foot down. And she sees that. And is doing the same. Its a staring contest. But I won’t break it.
My birthday is coming up in September. So I’m waiting to see if she’ll contact by then or for it.
Steve, in my experiences best thing is no contact for at least 2 months. I know it’s hard but what you gonna do.
They need to dry out for awhile, mostly shedding the “hate” or disappointment. And contacting them in that time frame is pointless.
You could say whatever, and they like it secretly knowing how you feel, but they’ll be stubborn and stand firm.
Until they get weak, with the constant build up of thoughts and memories popping up in their head and contact you one lonely night.
My ex contacted me 7 months down. Past 4 months on and off contact. I put my foot down NC 3weeks ago because she’s either hot or cold. Wanting to meet up, then backing out saying all she wants is “closure” So I’m going NC.
So I wouldn’t worry Joe. Its actually great because you find yourself and love yourself. You felt someone was with you as a team. But once you realize and discover yourself it’s amazing. Of course there’s times it’ll haunt you.
But don’t be surprised if and when her call comes. Just play it cool. She called to gain. You, nothing to lose.
I think it’s fair territory Joe.
I thought the exact same thing but even worse… because my ex left a “promise”
Which I found out later it was a mind game.
When my ex broke up with me a week before my birthday, she promised just a month of space. And she’ll stay faithful and can control herself as long as I can.
Which is a HINT. That I figured out later on.
Because when she didn’t contact me for my birthday, I was in shock.
That night I went out for my birthday, and I met a great woman. I wasn’t hounding her either because how depressed I was. Anyway she invited me back to her place after the bars closed and we hooked up.
my ex’s play complete
She knew if she didn’t contact me for my birthday that I would be pushed away so hard and potentially hook up with women. Especially a week or 2 down without contact.
And thus gave her a reason or validation to sleep with someone and not feel guilty or dirty
Why? Baggage. Less guilt. Clearer conscious in the long run. But it back fired on her. With her 2month then 7 month later contacts.
My opinion I’d definitely wait.
Time frame in this situation I really have no answer except waiting at least a couple days. For sure.
Fact:
She’s thinking about you right now 100%. Analyzing. Seeing if your going to contact. Anticipating your going to contact this day or that day. And when you don’t, it’ll bother her and get her attention in the right way.
If you contact her right away, you lose power in my opinion.
I don’t know maybe the 2 weeks thing is about weekends? And people ponder what the other is up to on weekends? First weekend nothing (maybe he was busy) second weekend (why hasn’t he contacted me) ?
Then in that case yeah it makes since to wait 2 weeks
I made a thread in the “not your ex” board for all of us to gather and talk in there if you guys want instead of mixing up and over flowing Joes thread.
I didn’t know what call it so I just put The GYEBP batcave a.k.a Bunker of Brotherhood for now and just copy pasted last post. I’ll edit it later
What’s up Mike!
Not at all man come inside the bat cave. Or bunker of brotherhood lol.
Over here in this corner.. we have the 300″ projector with 7.1 channel surround sound. Connected is a world satellite (catch alll the channels..) Xbox, ps4 and a Wii U.
Over here in this corner… of course we have the grand wall of assorted liqour bottles although they’re running low (Dara and I blazed through most of it and have another shipment coming) The fridge with the built in tap. (Think its a keg of dos equis in there)
Kitchen, 3 toilets, 2 urinals and a monkey… that developed a liking to pop open beers for us and hand it over.
🙂
8 years that’s rough. Stay NC. Don’t worry about if she’ll think this or that. Mine contacted me after first 2 months NC. Then changed her number. Then 7 months she called me private (I didn’t answer) then she text barraged me saying its her and “hope I’m on my way to marriage.
I was thinking all of kinds of shit. And I noticed the more you stay quiet, and be cool, the better.
