Mordecai

Joe your fine. At least I hope. Our situation is similar so believe me I was down.

The first month is bruuutal. My ex broke up with me a week before my 30th birthday. She said she wanted a month of space. I agreed.

Imagine how I felt Joe when she didn’t even email me, text me or call me. She was unemployed at the time but still she could of called from anywhere. Then she got a phone and called me 2months later.

We would Skype and email each other there’s really no excuse unless her sister was keeping her on lock down. Either way I felt hooorrible. I was pacing I couldn’t concentrate etc.

Fortunately I met a great woman on my birthday night. I didn’t even “hound” her. We clicked and she made the first move that night bringing me home to “continue” after the bars closed. I was with her for 2months basically everyday or every other day.

I explained everything to her and told her I want to take it slow but she wanted to get into a relationship with me soon after. She was mature about it and understood so we took time apart. She’s cool we are still in contact today with no hard feelings.

Anyway I was still hurting. And went out almost every night. I drank a lot. I mean a lot. But I was always able to drink most people under the table and be cool. Not that I’m proud of it. But this was a marathon. Thankfully nothing happened. No bar or club fights or anything.

In fact one of my friends and one of my cousins on separate occasions almost brawled with random drunk people. We’d go out and drink and we’d keep ordering and eventually at some point in the night one of them would eventually get into that stage. And I would calm them and chill them out and have fun laughing whatever.

This one night we ran into a group of guys who had a bachelor night we were all pretty wrecked and all 8 of us? squeezed in a taxi to go to a casino at 5am. When we got there in front of the casino we all fell out opening the doors

All in all it’s like my body and mind just wanted peace and love and just wanted to have fun. No fighting nothing. I had a blast and still have a blast when I can. And have sometimes “all weekenders”

Joe, write a draft. Your in the extra emotional early state still. When you come back to review your rough draft you might not like it and redo the who whole thing.

In regards to the random thoughts that pop up in your head. I’m telling you, now I don’t really care who she banged or how many. What really got me more was originally the idea she gave in the next day of our break up and was banging some as*hole.

When she contacted me 2 months later she was drunk and ranting. She was saying I probably slept with at least 7 women by now. I don’t know why she said specifically 7…

Could it be she banged a guy or 2 and had sex 7 times within that timeframe? Who the hell knows. It’s most likely she just threw a random number.

She told me without asking her that she didn’t have sex with anyone yet. That she could of and she said she should of but she’s not a whore.

But I think it’s BS.

7 months later when she started contacting me again, she was trying to pull it out of me who I banged and how many. I ignored it and she said “what I dated a few guys at least I can admit it” and that she didn’t have sex in awhile. I still dodged it. But later on I slipped. However I still continued to try to squash that topic as she kept bringing it up. Because I wanted to get her back and avoid arguing about that topic.

I edited my last post to clarify.

Next time I’d recommend leaving something nice and positive before going no contact. It makes it easier.

Since you already went NC now, I think your good for now.

But next time don’t leave the fight where you pleaded or begged before going NC.

Totally agree Dara. I was in the exact situation.

The first 2 months are brutal. Especially the first.

I kinda had doubt’s she was going to ever contact me. Especially after she changed her number after her first contact.

After awhile I gave up thinking and analyzing. Not completely because things crossed my mind of course, but you just get into that stage where you accept she probably banged a few guys by now.

Knowing she’s thinking the same about you dating women.

And then when one of the rebounds fail, the reach out comes out of nowhere one lonely depressed drunken night from them. Calling private, then text barraging etc.

Also to note: both intital contacts from her, she wanted me to come over saying she would want nothing more. Second time she got really dirty and said she wanted me to you know **** the **** out of her.

I couldn’t make it those nights. And set up for something the following days but she backed out.

Because I’m sure if we met up we would be back together. So she was just guarding herself being afraid too we’d argue and fall apart again.

He’s most likely thinking about you. And I’d definitely wait longer.

My ex contacted me twice since we broke up last year in September. 2 months after our break up with COMPLETE NC between us. After 2weeks of contact she changed her number. I said let’s be friends at least she said no way.

Then 7months later in May I get a private call and hangs up. Then started getting texts saying it’s her

“Hey it’s me”
“Hope your great”
“Hope your on your way to marriage!!”

We’ve been in contact on and off now since May. But I put my foot down and started NC 2-3 weeks ago. She’s acts hot and cold so I’m done with that game.

She tells me she misses me and tried so hard to get over me and wants to see me. I tell her I miss her as well then she says “no you don’t! OK then tell me about all the women you’ve slept with these months”

I told her so many times that I’m not going to tell her nor do I need to know about her dates. Because I don’t want to argue.

It’s not easy. Even when you get that contact. Especially if they’re are a “protective” type. They could stay stubborn until they finally give up and call one night.

Stay focused on yourself. Good chance you’ll get a call. If they truely did love you, they’ll break down and eventually contact you.

I’m turning 31 in a couple weeks in September. And to note she broke up with me a week before my birthday.

Everyone in my family saw that as a b!tch move by her but I was trying to reason it in my head hoping she was going to call or surprise me and come for my birthday. When she didn’t I let go.

I met this girl on my birthday night and dated her for 2 months. She wanted to get in a relationship with me fast and I wasn’t ready. We still keep in contact with each other. She’s cool.

Anyway how do I feel about my ex after 11 months… the same.

Because she initiated contact with me twice since our break up. 2 months after we broke up. Then 7 months later in May.

So naturally it reopened the wound with her being hot and cold. Everytime I start feeling better, especially months after December, she contacts me out of no where. It’s like she telepathically connected some how and knows when I’m moving on and then injects.

Now we’ve been in contact on and off since May. But I put my foot down and started NC 2-3weeks ago.

I know what you mean.

Look at my situation.

Broke up last year in September.

She initiated contact twice. 2months after our break up in November. She changed her number afterwards. (Deaths door)

Then about 7 months later in May with her new number.

It reopened the wound with her acting Hot and cold. Wanting to meet up then start shit testing me being stubborn and negative.

First phone conversation in May after being broken up for months she said:

Her: “I miss you so much I tried so hard to get over you these months.”

Me: “Me too”

Her: “no you don’t! OK then tell me about all of the women you slept with all these months”

Anyway, basically I messed up backed then by saying right away “me too” because it set me up to get picked apart and her being in control. That’s how messed up this sh!t is and how much of a brain fvck it could be.