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hi everyone,
i’m 25 and i broke up with my ex (23) at the end of July. we were together for 3 years, but the last half a year was spent in a LDR. we made it through a LDR for half a year as well previously.
she first wanted to break up end of March, but i pleaded with her to try and work on our relationship. she cited that she no longer had feelings for me (1 month after we last saw each other!), we were in different stages of our lives (she works, i’m finishing up uni), i was too clingy and did not have a goal for my life/career. i was really blindsided by this and did not expect it, as it never came up as an argument before.
to complicate matters, there’s another guy in the frame, who she went out with when we were still not officially broken up yet. they’ve probably been in contact for about 2 months now. she maintains that they will not get back together as she is going overseas to study for a year. (but yet she says that she loves him)
i want to win her back and i know the only way is to improve myself and show her. but given my circumstances, how do i go about approaching NC? (we will only be in the same city earliest Oct 2015)
i’ve started on NC, and i’m thinking of possibly 2-3 months given that the break up was a drag and quite a bad one..what should i do? please help me!! and thanks for reading such a long post..
this is killing me…That’s a tough situation. I would be devastated as well. So long distance, school overseas, and another guy??? Sounds like she has other priorities that don’t include you. Sad how someone that used to love you and be the sweetest, kindest person can turn into a cold, mean person.
I don’t have any advice but am also dealing with a similar situation. 🙁
My opinion is to stay NC. Then try to contact her later friendly.
It doesn’t seem it’s a good time now. If you keep hounding her right now she’s probably getting more and more turned off.
Thanks Mordecai. I intend to go NC for 2-3 months. to give me time to work on myself at least. it’s hard though. she hasn’t really contacted me since and i feel/fear that she has moved on and will never miss me again..
Dear AndyK,
You and I are almost similar. Nearly 4 years. But borke up. He already have new gal before we broke up officially. may be 2 months. I don’t know exactly . May be more than 2 months… I noticed that his changing manner but I don’t have chance.
🙁 I can feel you AndyK.
hey Khine,
yeah that sucks.. thinking you having a chance at saving the relationship when you actually don’t.. all i can hope is that it’s a rebound and after she goes overseas to study they’d die down and that would give her time and space to miss me (hopefully, instead of him 🙁 ). what pains me even more sometimes is that i was actually planning to propose to her once i got a job and saved up enough for our wedding..
btw Khine, i don’t see much detail as to any reasons he gave for breaking up with you?Dear AndyK,
All I can do is hope it’s rebound, too. What if is not rebound ?? Oh .. I can’t even think.
” You accept that you’re ok if you can’t even get your ex back as there are so much opportunities in out there to happy. ” is one of the RULES THAT HAVE TO BE DONE before contacting your ex. But I still can’t accept it , yet.He didn’t give me the exact reason for break up. I mean he never tell me about breaking up. He just like playing me. He want me to accept his manner of getting 2 gf. He want me to accept that. He put me to back-up , safety-net place by giving trick of marrying me in coming 2 years. How bad !
Firstly, It seems like I accept him . But later i asked myself and I run from that situation. I can’t share. It’s better living in NC than accepting as safety-net place.hey Khine,
OUCH. that is seriously so terrible on his part to string you along like that and to break up without giving any reason! hopefully our ex-s will realise what they’ve given up during our NC period.. keep going strong!
yeah i agree that’s one of the hardest points. but i guess that would mean we would have really moved on and treat a 2nd chance as a new relationship, if we decide to pursue it.
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