Is it over?? Please Help

Dara I know what you mean. There’s a lot of smart and mature ladies in early 20’s.

Yet you’d feel at times uncomfortable being in there group.

It depends on the group. If they’re mature and laid back and you click, it’s not that big of a problem.

SSG, I think he cares but is holding his ground or stubbornness.

I know I broke up with a short term ex (couple months) I did it because I was at the end of the road in that relationship. And held my ground even if I was lonely.

It depends on what happened and the situation. But I’m mostly on OK terms with all of my ex’s and acquaintance’s. Even great terms. No sex or anything but cool friendly terms. I don’t like burning bridges.

If I was really in love, I would only stay stubborn for so long til I contacted them. I’m not a fan just being completely cold with someone who you once had a really deep connection and so spent so much time and energy with.

Unless I found out she cheated on me. Which I haven’t really had solid proof. I had suspicions but no proof. And I’m a master at sniffing that out.

Not only in mine relationships, but in others too. And I caught others. And obviously know a lot of cheaters. The tactics. The motives. The “right place at the right time” while in a rough state in a relationship or marriage. The chase. Business. Being uncontrollable. Etc etc etc.

Joe your fine. At least I hope. Our situation is similar so believe me I was down.

The first month is bruuutal. My ex broke up with me a week before my 30th birthday. She said she wanted a month of space. I agreed.

Imagine how I felt Joe when she didn’t even email me, text me or call me. She was unemployed at the time but still she could of called from anywhere. Then she got a phone and called me 2months later.

We would Skype and email each other there’s really no excuse unless her sister was keeping her on lock down. Either way I felt hooorrible. I was pacing I couldn’t concentrate etc.

Fortunately I met a great woman on my birthday night. I didn’t even “hound” her. We clicked and she made the first move that night bringing me home to “continue” after the bars closed. I was with her for 2months basically everyday or every other day.

I explained everything to her and told her I want to take it slow but she wanted to get into a relationship with me soon after. She was mature about it and understood so we took time apart. She’s cool we are still in contact today with no hard feelings.

Anyway I was still hurting. And went out almost every night. I drank a lot. I mean a lot. But I was always able to drink most people under the table and be cool. Not that I’m proud of it. But this was a marathon. Thankfully nothing happened. No bar or club fights or anything.

In fact one of my friends and one of my cousins on separate occasions almost brawled with random drunk people. We’d go out and drink and we’d keep ordering and eventually at some point in the night one of them would eventually get into that stage. And I would calm them and chill them out and have fun laughing whatever.

This one night we ran into a group of guys who had a bachelor night we were all pretty wrecked and all 8 of us? squeezed in a taxi to go to a casino at 5am. When we got there in front of the casino we all fell out opening the doors

All in all it’s like my body and mind just wanted peace and love and just wanted to have fun. No fighting nothing. I had a blast and still have a blast when I can. And have sometimes “all weekenders”

I’m also in the same age range of you guys,29. I dated my ex for 8 years and I’m still not close to being over her. I didn’t do NC right away and we texted every night for the first month and a half, mostly her reaching out. It’s been about 3 weeks now of mostly NC and the past month and a half have been not much. I’m trying hard to not reach out but it isn’t easy. I know I shouldn’t feel like this but after such limited contact I feel like I could possibly never hear from her again and I wonder if she thinks since I havnt reached out that I don’t care about her anymore. What kills me the most is that she would always say she doesn’t know what will happen with us in the future and needs to find herself. A big part of me hasn’t given up hope.

If been going out and meeting girls, but still don’t feel great when I do it. I’ve also increased my drinking but limit it to mostly weekends so it doesn’t interfere with my work. The situation we are in is really tough. When you are in a relationship you don’t think about what you could lose and for me I took a lot of it for granted esp the last few months.

Is there anything you guys have been doing during NC that seems to work the best to help? The only thing that seems to keep me at peace is work during the day and playing a lot of golf after work even though there have been times where she will pop In my head during that. I’m trying to stay active b/c when I’m not doing something is when my mind races the most.

I’m sorry that I included myself in your conversations and I hope you guys don’t mind.

I made a thread in the “not your ex” board for all of us to gather and talk in there if you guys want instead of mixing up and over flowing Joes thread.

I didn’t know what call it so I just put The GYEBP batcave a.k.a Bunker of Brotherhood for now and just copy pasted last post. I’ll edit it later

Thank you Joe for your comments and not minding I posted here 🙂 but I will not post my stuff here anymore 🙂

Hey I’m so proud of you!!! ONE MONTH!!! Good for you! 🙂

Things are only going to get better!