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Thanx for being honest SM .. I really appreciate it .. I know that I sound desperate to get him back .. but the thing is that I write here every thing that I feel or in my mind .. so I can keep my nerves and be sane with him .. and you guys have been a great support for me in this .. and it makes me feel better sharing with you and say my opinion in other’s situations .. I may be obsessed with my ex here .. but actually I’m not talking to him till he start the conversation as @Maria advised me .. I’m going out and do my stuff too ..
and about the advices I get .. I try me best to follow them or the ones that goes with my plans at least.. I’m trying to sound strong when I’m around him .. but I need somewhere where I can allow myself to be weak and needy .. but with him I’m doing my best to be strong and not needy at all ..
and I’m an engineer .. but I graduated 6 monthes ago .. so I can’t have a job yet .. I have to practice first .. I’m doing a training .. 4 times a week and 4 hours each time ..
and I’ll start my job in the beginning of 2015 ..along with my master degree study ..
and about doing a NC .. I did it .. and it was a great experience that got me back talking to him again and reminded me how wanted I’m again and that I’m happy without him.. but now I’m doing a false friendship with him ..
so I don’t want to lose him ever again .. that’s why I’m posting here where you guys can advise me .. and correct me if I’m doing anything wrong in contacting with him ..
and I did he’s pros. and cons. .. he has his cons. .. but his pros. are way more 🙂 ..
and believe me .. I can’t be better .. I’m working “almost non of my friends started this .. not even my ex” .. I passed my master degree test .. I go out with my friends at least 3 times a week ” with 3 different groups of friends .. so yes I’m popular too “.. I go to gym 3 times a week ..I read alot “10 books a month”..and i go to the hair salon once a week .. but still I do have a lot of spare time .. so if you have any advice that can help me to be better I’m all ears .. and BTW .. I’m from Syria .. so due to war I can’t stay out late .. or go out every time I want to.. etc ..
any advice will be appreciated ..thanx anwar .. but he really used to treat me like a queen when we where together .. but now we are broken up .. and I’m doing the False friendship to get him back again ..
Thanx TristanJade for being honest .. I know that my actions are not getting me where I want and that’s why I have started this thread .. I’m trying my best not to pressure him or look needy or clingy ..
but idk why I always fall over the same mistakes over and over again .. 🙁
it’s hard for me to act like I’m his friend while he’s giving me almost the same attention as before when we talk ..
how should I act around him?
I really want him back 🙁
any advice would be appreciatedthanx Maria ..
today he was mean to me .. I told him I’m sick .. and he didn’t call me or even text me .. just 2 messages all day long .. 🙁 .. so I was really sad .. I know he’s busy with this stupid friend of him and the connections suck at his city .. but I know that he could find a way to contact me if he wanted to .. so .. I was really sad .. I said him a screen shot of one of my friends telling me that he would come to my place and stay by my side till I get better .. but I cropped the picture so he would not know who saod that to me .. when he was home 12 hours later .. he was really tired .. and I was upset .. he got upset too about the conversation between me and my friend .. but he didn’t say much ..
I was telling him something silly but it did make me feel sad 🙁 .. he took it personally .. and I didn’t back off .. and I told him that the silliest things I say should be important to him .. we ended up angry at each other .. so he told me that he wanted to go to sleep .. I make a joke so he doesn’t go angry .. he replied laughing .. he sent me a good night kiss and went to sleep ..
after that I sent him an offline message explaining what did I mean by telling him the silly thing and why it bothered me .. and that I expected a different reaction from him .. and that I’m not waiting for him to do anything .. but I’m telling him the silliest things because I trust him .. etc ..
I hope to get a good reply from him when he wakes up tomorrow ..
BUT!!!! .. here is the thing .. when we were talking.. he said that I’m always looking for problems .. and that I’m getting angry over the silliest things and he won’t take it .. and that every time he says that I’ve changed .. but I’m not.. I’m changing for the worst! 🙁
this thing is scaring me .. it’s the second time he says this in a fight .. I’ve changed .. I’m trying to communicate more with him .. to make him understand me .. but he took things personally tonight .. so what do you think?●○● UPDATE ● ○ ●
today before he went to sleep he contacted me on whatsapp .. saying he missed me .. but he can’t talk now because he didn’t want this Friend to find out that we are talking too 😀 .. he doesn’t trust him anymore .. so he sent me a good night kiss and wished me a good night .. The whole conversation lasted 3 minutes and he went to sleep 🙁
I asked him to stay up with me .. he said he’s too tired .. and he has to wake up early tomorrow .. so I said ok ..
I’ll wait and see when he’ll contact me again
wish me good luck .. it’s really hard for me to stop contacting him 🙁 ..
I miss him alot .. and I’m holding my phone all day waiting for him to text me or call me 🙁 ..
what should I do about this? 🙁
I was with my family and friends all day long .. but still I was checking my phone every now and then 🙁 ..hi Maria .. thanx for taking time to read my comment and reply ..
it’s him usually who start the contact … he sends me a message as soon as he wakes up .. I wake up later and reply .. then I talk to him on whatsapp after like 2 hours .. he replies when he can .. and we talk then if we both were free ..
and about that friend .. he’s going to my ex’s because they were close friends back in college and he needs a place to stay in till Sunday so he’s crushing at my ex’s .. but I don’t like this guy for my own reasons ( this guy was my friend too .. but I ended our friendship ) .. and I told my ex that he’ll be busy with this Friend ..so I don’t wanna bother him .. and I’ll give him his time .. I did say that I hate this guy .. but the main reason I said is to give my ex his space .. and that I didn’t want this guy to find out that me and my ex are talking again ..
and about coming off as a needy person .. you may be right .. this does seems like neediness when I read it again .. but he’s the one who said at first that he’s coming for me .. then I asked for confirmation and It did comes off as neediness .. I’ll work on this more .. thanx for making me notice that ..
I’ll keep working on myself .. he’s working on him self too .. and I hope he means something by saying he loves me 🙂 ..
thanx again ..
I’ll update my thread as soon as he contacts me .. hope he’ll soon 🙁Thanx Maria and sticksnstones .. The thing is that I barely call him .. I wait for him to call .. I usually send a message .. but most of time there is no mobile connections at his town .. so when he gets the message .. we’ll be talking on IM ” me starting the conversation ” .. I tried to talk less to him on IM .. he’s talking to me now .. he sends me good morning messages and good night calls ..
and today .. his friend from different city is going to his town and he’ll stay with him for a while .. I hate this Friend ” I had a fight with him because he’s disrespectful” .. so I suggested that I don’t talk to my ex as long as this person is at his place .. and I told him that I’ll be waiting for him to contact me .. he agreed .. so we’ll see when he’s going to call ” I hope he’ll” ..
and one last thing ..
yesterday .. we were talking .. and he did something stupid .. so I told him I hate him ” like kids do when they get mad .. in a funny way ” .. so he responded saying : “but I love you ” .. I didn’t say anything back .. and continued the conversation normally ..
and he was telling me that he’ll come to my city .. so I asked why? he said : “basically I wanna see you .. and I missed your city” .. so I said : ” you admit that I’m the most important person in my city to you? ” ( said it laughing and it was kind of joke ) .. he said :” I do .. you’re the most important person to me ” ..
and today we had a fight over a silly thing so he got mad .. and I was the mature one .. he ended up apologising to me for getting mad at me and he said : “I’m sorry honey .. love you ” ..
what do you think?
does this mean he is in love with me again ?
or he’s just saying that ?
the last time he said that ( we were broken up too and I asked him what does he mean .. he said he’s in love with me but he didn’t want us to get back together because we were awful together .. but I also know that he says ” love you” to all his friends -_- )
so what do you think?Thanks sticksnstones .. I go out with my friends every day .. but i spend 3 to 4 hours out max .. and that’s why it’s hard for me .. sometimes there is no connection in his city .. so we are forced not to talk .. like the past 3 days .. we barely talked all day long .. but he calls me once or twice a day .. I talk to him on whatsapp whenever im online .. or I send a message if I was out .. and that’s it .. 🙁
I’ll try tomorrow not to talk to him unless he start the conversation.. and I hope he’ll call me .. I’m really afraid that he won’t .. that’s why I’m the one who’s starting the conversation with him .. I’m afraid to find out that he won’t care if I didn’t talk to him 🙁 ..
how long should I wait before calling if he doesn’t talk to me?
andThanx Maria .. I know I feel like I’m putting much more effort than him .. and that’s bothering me 🙁 ..
I know he’s doing somethings sometimes for me too .. but I don’t feel it’s enough from him .. especially when he’s cold with me !!
and today .. I was with his best friends .. so .. I told him I’m with him ” we called him like 4 times with no answer.. he wasn’t home .. and his phone was at home ” .. so as soon as he got home he talked to me on whatsapp .. when he didn’t got any response from me .. so he called me .. should I wait tell he contacts me again? ..
what if he didn’t feel my absence ? .. or he didn’t talk to me?
and how long do you think should I wait before starting a conversation if he doesn’t talk to me?hey aamls .. it’s been a while .. look .. I think you should be stronger .. look it’s really great that you’re working and the most important thing is that you’re open now to start dating again .. even though it didn’t work this time .. everything is going to be great soon .. if you’re going to church you should have faith in God .. and that everything is going to be great soon .. I’ll pray for you too 🙂
and about your husband .. I think you need to show him that you can move on .. and I’m still not really with doing a strict NC with him .. you can contact him when it’s about the kids .. Kevin wrote something about this in the blog .. you can check it out .. because it seems like doing the strict NC is making things worse
hope to hear some good news soonWooooow .. I’m so proud of you aamls .. and I’m really happy that you could finally find your inner peace .. keep doing this .. you are doing great .. and idk why did he called you .. but maybe he was gonna apologise for not seeing the children recently or something ..
keep us updated .. 🙂Well .. in your case .. I’ll definitely go NC for a month ..
I think you both need sometimes alone to find yourself .. and then you can establish a False Friendship with him .. till you figure out what you really want .. especially if he’s a freshman .. he really needs time .. and it’s ok .. any relationship he will be in now will be a rebound .. so don’t worry 🙂
and plz .. can you give me your opinion on my story?Thanx @Clear .. I said thanx to him .. Of course I didn’t say anything about getting married ..
anyways .. he hasn’t reply yrt .. I didn’t think he will 🙁
What do you about our last conversation?
