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Napoleon. That’s an awesome article. Seriously so. Given me much motivation to get on and do what I need to do. Tomorrow is the 1st jan and beginning of the new me. Exersise, diet, a new skill, etc. what’s my ex’s name agin!?? Oh yeah, that guy!
He’s angry because, I kept in contact with an ex, he saw a flirtatious message which I responded to on my phone. He went nuts and he pulled out of the house we were just about to sign the contract for.
He knows this ex keeps popping up now and then and he knows I found it difficult to tell the old ex to leave me alone.
This was combined with a few times we fell out and he told me it was over or I told him it was over I would ho on a date site. Reasoning of mine to do that was the pain I was in.
I take it I’m insecure in myself.When this all blew up, he initially chased me for 6 weeks and I said no. Then over night I had a turn around and wanted him back but then he said no and it’s remained that way since 21st Nov!
I feel now he’s thinking he’s fed up with my ways and he’s worried I will get back with this ex of mine or meet someone off a date site.
However wrong it all was I remained 100% faithful to him.I’m wondering if I’ve got abandonment issues.?
I’ve been in contact today. Emails. He was saying that the emails will have to finally stop as it’s not helping with moving on. He sometimes contradicts what he says and I look inbetween the lines hooping to see a ray of sunshine.
So, after today’s emails I now have to start NC….again. The anger has subsided slightly from him now and he has said that the NC is helping him cope with everything even though he doesn’t know about this site or what NC is.
I believe he still still loves me but he can’t see it because of anger. I did say in one of my emails that we will not find another compatible partner for many years, if we strike lucky one of might find love in a couple of years but if that has longevity is another thing. Because of this the fact he won’t iron out our problems is an utter waste. He acknowledged and said I had a valid point but in next sentence he spoke about moving on.
He’s not told me he doesn’t love me and for that reason I’m going to NC again and see where that goes. I’ve nothing to lose.How about you? Any further contact?
That’s why I’m not walking away or moving on. What do I move onto when I want him? I can’t, I just need to get used to the situation first and try live a life.
I’m having an early night tomorrow night!!
Aussie_guy. My email is [removed]. No, my boys are not my ex’s even though he’s been in their lives for the last 8 years and as my youngest is now 11 whose real dad is not on the scene, my ex really did play dad. Ouch….it hurts a Lot what’s happened. You will never know 🙁
Oh, I lived in Glen Innes for a whole year and the one thing I remember all the girls hated me! LolMike2014. You will find happiness, I mean we all will…it’s just this rubbish we have to go through to get to the end and the beginning of happiness.
You must have sensed I was thinking about Currumbin. Lol
Just give it time Aussie_guy. She loves you but has issues. You need this time to improve yourself as I do too. It’s positive step forward, it’s just this time alone sucks, not knowing what the future holds.
My ex loved me so much I took it for granted. I thought he would be always there and I thought I would be the one to walk away,which I initially did.
That feeling I had lasted 6 weeks where I didn’t want to see him, talk to him or have anything to do with him. So I’m living proof that a change of thought does exist. The fact is however hurt I was, I still loved him but the hurt over rode the love that I didn’t see it.
The love is there, we need to both improve our lives, and wait for them to come back. I’m pretty sure that my guy will but it’s not going to be soon. Maybe in the Spring. We were too good together for him to go forever.
Sounds a bit like your ex.I’d love to meet up except in I’m London!
I’m dual nationality as I was born here. I’ve an Aussie mother who originates from Glen Innes. My brother owns Queensland Salads in Brisbane, lives in East Gravatt. Mum lives in South Tweed. My cousins is on the GC too. As is said we’ve been in Oz since the first ship arrived! Lol. Just so happened my mother decided to come over to UK for an adventure when she was 20, married my dad, had 2 kids and buggered back of to Oz when I was 17! Lol. So I’m the only family member here in the UK now. Once my youngest finishes school here then I will wing my way back to Oz and set up around Currumbin.
I’m on facebook, how do I add you ? I doubt your real name is Aussie_guy lolYeah, that’s the way forward.
I’ve come to the conclusion I can’t walk away nor can I move on. I’m happy with that. I’m going to improve myself, become more attractive and see where I am in a months time. There is no way I can move on like he wants me too. We can’t turn off emotions just to suit. If we could, this forum would t exist.I’ve not spoken to anyone about my problems, a few of my friends know we’ve split but you know, they’ve got their own lives and not got the time to spend hours listening to me.
I’m on my own and that’s that.
Hey Aussie_guy,
It’s good to have something to work for, we both need to drive hard to make ourselves better…. More attractive, confident.
Can get bogged down in a comfy relationship and things can get taken for granted on both sides.I’ve had a few exchange of emails as I said and now I’m re reading them, reading into things and totally going stir crazy. He’s not said he doesn’t love me, not that I’ve asked that question as too scared.
Has she told you that she doesn’t love you?Hey Currumbin is MY beach! I’m moving to Currumbin at some stage. I can see myself sitting on Elephant rock with a beer in hand with the wind in my hair…oh yeh!
I will have you know I’m a member of the First Fleet Association! Oh yeah.Where in Oz are you Aussie_guy. All my family are out there and I’m the only one here in UK, it’s freezing here and I’m not having fun! I want to be out on the beach too! 😛
No Aussie_guy, they don’t move on that quick. A fling maybe, a rebound, but no, they don’t move on that quick.
When you’re in your early 20’s it’s easy to go from one to another but the other you get the selection of partners is reduced and you become more selective. She will not move on quickly, unless she really didn’t love you nor actually like you. So there you have it, you need to ride the storm out.Good article, I had a quick read.
I’ve realised with my ex, to ever get him back I need to stand on my own two feet. I relied on him financially while I kicked back! Haha.I need to get back to how I was when he first met me. I need to get the dynamics back. When he first met me I had job, house , car, holidays…I did it all on my own but soon as he worked abroad I leant on him more and more. I don’t think either of us knew the resentment that was building.
He’s now responding to my texts but said they are not helping us move on.
I’ve told him how disappointment I am that he doesn’t want to rebuild the unique relationship we had. How for us to both find someone else will take years to even match what we had and even then no guarantees it would work.
He agreed and told me I had a valid point but nevertheless he’s told me to move on. He’s still angry. Because of our strength of what he had once and everything we’ve been through, travelled the world, stood at side lines of rugby matches to watch my son… To eating chocolate in bed and saying how disgusting we were to do such thing! Haha. But all these memories will hopefully come more forward I his mind as his anger drops.
He’s said to me on numerous occassions that he will never find anyone else so compatible.
He can’t move on… How can he after everything we’ve been through? I’m banking on the anger dropping and being reunited and start afresh. In mean time i need to move on and become the girl he once met again. I just hope I still want him by then!Nell,
Sounds like early days. Have you asked him what the hurry is? Does he have someone else do you think?
I would communicate to him telling him that you’re finding it hard to adjust so quickly, I guess you’ve done this already though.
So sorry for what you’re going through, I send a big hug to you. You will come out the other side a stronger better person. I promise you that.
Marcus1
Sometimes when relationship happen too quickly you don’t see things properly. It’s lust. It can burn out pretty quick but the attraction is probably still there.
Because it happened quickly she might be unsure of her feelings towRds you now.Give it some time and drop her a text to maybe keep a friendship going and see where it goes.
Learn by the experience and if things don’t work out with her, next girl that comes along take it slow to build up solid foundations.
Nell
Can’t help I’m afraid. I wish my ex would contact me! As for family and friends, they will soon enough keep quiet!After 30 days, are you not supposed to create a false friendship? Texting how they are, what are they up too…..building it up slowly until they have trust. If no response then leave it another 30 days.
It depends how much you want to chase it and what kind of relationship you had and for how long. The shorter the relationship then the less history you have between you to keep you together.He won’t forget you nor move on in that time.
If you talk to him before he goes away he might upset you as he’s still on track to move on. If you cut contact and possibly do 60 days then the both of you will be much clearer in your minds and possibly from then be friends with a possibility of reconciliation.My situation is that my ex has understood he has to learn to over come anger issues towards me, because I’ve managed 2 weeks NC he has also said that the NC makes it better for him to cope with everything. So the NC is working. I just need to NC for much much longer.
To be honest, I do not want to ask him if he still loves me, or if he sees a future with me because I know if I hear the wrong thing I will crumble.
With his state of mind he could possibly say something I don’t want to hear but if I give it time, he might actually want to spend some time with me and my son like we used to. To build a friendship so I can show him I’ve acknowledged faults and show him I’ve changed.
There is no quick fix for me because I’ve found out he will be working away until March!
I may take up knitting! LolI’m sorry to hear about your troubles.
It’s terrible when families get involved like that.
I’m sure that your ex mother medical problems were not brought on solely by the situation but had underlying problems that has just surfaced because of stress right now.Some people don’t know the stress they cause to another person. They are unaware totally and would not accept blame. You know, people push us away for reasons and it’s up to us to understand that. It’s all a learning curve finding out how people work.
Hope things get better.
