Dumped after 13 y realationship :(

Napoleon. That’s an awesome article. Seriously so. Given me much motivation to get on and do what I need to do. Tomorrow is the 1st jan and beginning of the new me. Exersise, diet, a new skill, etc. what’s my ex’s name agin!?? Oh yeah, that guy!

I’m glad it helped 🙂

I found out this article 3 weeks ago and read it almost 10 times so far lol. It’s so uplifting 🙂 I believe it 100%!

I woke up this morning missing my ex really bad, and I didn’t even feel minimally tempted to contact her. I know if I do it I’ll push her even away. When she broke up with me I was so insecure and weak, no wonder she left me. I believe she wonders why I didn’t contact her yet.

Yesterday at my grandparents home I saw my 4 year old cousin playing with some toys, there was this fire truck toy completed neglected by her side so I decided to grab it and give it to my another 5 year cousin across the room. When she saw it, she completely freak out, she left the toys she was playing with and wanted the fire truck so bad.

This to tell there’s this instinct that operates in peoples subconscious to desire what they can’t have, especially if they know it was theirs before. That’s why false friendships and contact soon after a break up just can’t work. Your ex will only desire you when they really feel they might lose you forever. Hell, I first attracted my ex using this principle without even realizing.

Believe me your exes will regret, they can’t throw a lot of years out of the window just like that, a long relationship like that indicates there was real love and attraction at some point. If it you had once you can have it again, but it’s very important to change your life for the best.

Some years ago I read a novel, about a man happily married, and suddenly his wife left him and disappear without any apparent reason. It was a spiritually crusade of self-improvement and in the end of the journey the man finally finds his wife, that’s when he realized that in order to be able to find her, he first had to find himself.

This book ended with the following quote: “The taste of things recovered is the sweetest honey we will ever know.”

Not you, but your exes one day, if they’re lucky, will understand this quote better than anybody.

So go back to work, end with this self-pity nonsense, it may seem counter intuitive but self-pity is addictive.

Write your goals, there’s a lot you can improve, one day at time.
When the novelty of your exes new relationships ends and nostalgia start kicking in their butts, that’s then the roles will reverse.

In my life I never gained nothing by being negative but gained a lot by being positive.

Stay strong

8 and a half years for me. Now been alittle over 8 months. It’s still tough for me like it is for all you. I see a lot of similarities amongst reason that we all share for the break ups. Wishing everyone the best.

Hey everyone, got dumped from an 8 year relationship 2 months ago. Same reasons as a lot of us… No more passion, doesn’t love me romantically anymore, feels like were more friends than lovers, etc. I got lazy and in a routine toward the end and she just wasn’t happy. I can see everything I did to push her away now. It’s taken me 2 months but I’m in such a better place than right after the breakup. For anyone that’s having trouble… Seriously… Stay stay busy! I’ve started helping the homeless, moved apartments, started doing yoga, decided to learn how to make stuff (my own breakfast table), looked into learning Italian, hung out with friends, watched sports. Just constantly keep yourself busy. It’s when you think that you’re the worst. Just do everything and anything to keep your mind off your ex. Also, I would recommend to anyone to read this book.. “The art of happiness” by a western psychologist and the Dalai Lama. It seriously reached me and helped me in a way I can not express. It’s all about becoming a better person and that you need to be happy with yourself before you can be with somebody else. True happiness is inside you and is not brought on by other people or things. These are all temporary. I’m dead serious… Read this book. It got me through the darkest days. It really felt like I was meant to have it at this time. Long story but crazy stuff about how I read it during this time. I want my ex back so bad, but I don’t NEED her. Remember, the improvement in ourselves is what re attracts. We want everything right away in this instant pleasure world, but most of the time, the things we wait for and work the hardest for make us the happiest. We want long term happiness with our exes, so if you really do, let time do it’s job. And if they move on then it really wasn’t meant to be. You want somebody who loves you.. Not somebody that isn’t sure. It sucks that love is a two way street but I’ve had to come to terms with that. Hope is what will get us through this all. Oh and positive thinking, whether you believe it or not, fake smiling and thinking cup half full about EVERYTHING can do wonders for your psyche. Haha also, don’t bottle anything up… Talk to anyone that you can. That really helped me. Sorry for the long rant!

It’s a little different but if you open up to it, it will really inspire you. Especially at this time. The Dalai Lama is a Buddhist so it’s a great interaction between a western thinking psychologist and eastern Buddhist. And as far as staying busy.. Try try new things. That has never been hard for me so that’s why I think this has been easier for me than a lot of people. And I’m an open book and talk about my feelings to everyone. Try new restaurants, go to a nursing home and talk to old people (they are the wisest people in the world and are so bored and always want someone to just talk to them), go outside your comfort zone. It’s hard but the after effects are amazing!

Is anyone else experiencing a partner who just won’t reach out to them? Two months since the break up, 6 year relationship and was dumped over the phone for another girl. He hasn’t bothered to clarify anything with me or discuss the issue further. Pretty brutal. I’m focusing on myself and have been dating but can’t shake this sick feeling that he will never contact me again. Texted a few times last month but he always stopped abruptly and hasn’t replied to the last text (merry Christmas). Is it worth a shot to send a short text in a month? I don’t want to seem desperate when I’m the one who got pretty screwed over..

Hard to hear that 🙁 I do think this girl is a rebound as we were long distance for the year and had been fighting a bit. He doesn’t look happy in his photos. But he’s very stubborn and I don’t think he will change his mind sooooo yes I think I will reach out in 2 months and see how that goes.

Hey hayz,

Tough question. I think we are in very similar boats right now actually.. I was only 1 week away from seeing him and yet still got dumped on the phone. I do sometimes wonder how I would ever forgive him but the truth is that you can’t really live in the past. Being lonely and stressed are not great reasons to be such a d but there must have been some other reasons why he felt as though he couldnt wait for you. Maybe some self reflection is needed here. I know personally that I was a bit of a mess and took him for granted near the end of the relationship because I had exams coming up, and in a long distance relationship that is just a complete killer.

On a new note, I’ve been socialising heaps and had a party etc with some of our mutual friends, where I told them about some of the dates ive been going on etc. And guess what?? They must have told him that im doing fine etc because not only did he finally send me a huge long text replying to my letter, he also bombarded me with all these questions about what ive been doing and updating me with his life. I played it cool and sent cute/mildly interested but short texts back andddd yes it seems as though the false friendship has SOMEHOW come about. This is a fricken miracle because the guy was stone cold and wasnt giving me ANYTHING to work with.

Bit of a lol. I was so sure that he hated me. The system works guys.