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Yes Atea, you’re normally the one on the ball! My email has been taken off the site now so I hope you got it?
Thank you Mike again for the compliment! How can anyone be too shy of lil ole me?! Lol. I’m not surprised but a moment that you’re never short of a date!
Aphrodite’s words are too kind! Not sure if it’s because we knew so much about each other’s inner thoughts that we just had this instant connection. Was awesome! 😀
Hi all,
I just want to let you all know that I had the great pleasure in meeting the most wonderful, beautiful Aphrodite!
She is indeed an Aphrodite or Infact maybe I’m thinking she is actually THE Aphrodite.
Had a great few hours chatting and could have easily carried on for another few!
Today has been a good day! Yay!
I’m glad atea is feeling stonger by the day and that Unimare is feeling un fazed by her ex’s effort in wishing her happy birthday, belated birthday wishes Unimare. Happy birthday Unimare!
Mike, let us know how the date goes!
Hi Mike,
Did you have a good weekend? Good to have a change of scenery even if the heart is elsewhere I guess!
I think that’s the maddest thing ever her mum contacted you! Obviously they like you and maybe you are a topic of conversation in their household! Very strange after all this time they contact you I must say.
Clearly your ex still cares very much for you!
It is strange because it’s like not enough time has gone by to be just friends. If a few years had gone by and there is contact then it can be amicable but it’s too soon after the breakup for that.
there is something stopping her from coming back right now so hang on in there and keep busy with life.I know I’ve behaved very needy towards my ex and it’s probably the reason why he’s cut contact. However it’s like he doesn’t want to know how I am, if I’m ok, if I’m ok for money (he used to help me out a lot), how my son is etc.
how can someone do all that after 8 yrs together!?
I just don’t get it how someone can be so callus.Anyway, am off to meet Aphrodite later today! Whoop whoop!
Atea, how’s things with you?
Maybe one day we can have a “get your rotten ex back” convention.
New York, London, Tokyo, Sydney! LolHaving an issue with the email address, so I’m will just bite the bullet and put my email address to the world here, well, what else can go wrong in my life after all! Lol
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There you are world…. Come and get me! Haha.
Aphrodite,
Yes! I can do Sunday or Monday but have a not so good dental appointment on Tuesday pm which no doubt will involve a numb mouth and generally leave me heading for duvet haha.
Would love to hook up!I’ve not wanted to put my email address up as I know the whole world reads our messages. I’ve made a temporary email so address, contact me on [email protected]
If you give me your email address I can get in touch with out the world getting our email addresses on here.
Atea and mike , you’re more than welcome to leave email addresses too but you may not have the need.Hi Aphrodite,
I’m reading posts now and then and happy to answer questions. Am struggling too. I know Mike mentioned this but it’s absolutley extraudinary how someone we shared our lives with, trusted, laughed, cried with can end up so nasty.
I’m finding it so hard my ex is still showing so much hatred towards me. Yes I allowed my old ex to contact me and that was wrong but the hurt and anger coming from my ex is extraudinary.
Even if he snaps out of it how the hell can I ever trust him again not to cut me out his life again.
I feel sorry for the next girl he will get involved with that’s for sure because he will take this baggage with him now forward as I don’t think he sees it as a problem he has himself.Anyway, atea and Mike are ok. Shame about your post disappearing Aphrodite and your not doing too well. I feel how much lower do we have to get before the climb out of this hole.
Still feel the ex will be back but just don’t know if that’s not accepting still.
Hi all,
I think my ex is really manipulative and blaming me for everything. I think he’s got a scew lose to be honest and has big problems. For now I really need to move on from him and I’m going to for a bit try and not come on here as just think maybe to keep taking about it might not be helping me, im not sure to be honest so am going to take a few days out to see how I feel.
Keep strong everyone and shall catch up soon 🙂
Great,as soon as said than done he sends me a email saying he sees these emails going nowhere and can’t see the point. He also said that we have different out looks on life hence why we don’t get on and he’s glad he broke the round a bout.
Aphrodite,
It’s a difficult situation to know how to talk to them right now. I’ve basically agreed that it’s the right thing to do to split up (blatant lie! Hehe) but this has allowed me to also speak my feelings. He’s been ok and open to that but on one side he’s saying he will read and listen to what I’ve to say but then on the other he said I come across as if I know everything and that he doesn’t put his feelings down because I won’t listen so pointless. I responded by that’s his choice and that it’s a communication problem and if he doesn’t want to communicate then I can’t force him.
I always re read my mails to him especially after sending just to make sure I’ve not thrown my weight around. I don’t want to leave any gap to where he can judge me in a negative way.
I’ve highlighted the lack of communication but it’s very clear he’s still in his man cave. However, lately he’s been responding to me and always very quickly. I think the agreeing to the break up has been the best move I’ve made. I’ve also,put my,points across why it’s the best thing to go our separate ways. Haha, I’ve tried to get through the front door with him and declaring my love etc but clearly that didn’t work so now trying round the back door with different tactic! Lol
He will think of anything and everything to convince himself why it’s not going to work. So, I’m agreeing with it all. I still give my opinion of my thoughts though but never in a bull in china shop way.
One thing the tarot lady said to me, stand your ground with him. It rings true and will carry on having respect for myself.
My ex said the other day that he didn’t have broken relationships, I said oh, so you left your wife.. Isn’t that a broken relationship? And us? Broken.. Yes?
Then he said what about me in which I responded by saying yes my relationship have been diabolical and I’m going through much thought and personal change, reflection to why I end up in this situation and what changes I need to make.
Obviously he didn’t have much to say after that!So now the door is open to at least communication then everything I say at least he can sum up what he wants from it. He’s still bitter as hell but obviously not that bitter he can’t talk to me. I don’t feel so needy either as I know he will respond.
It’s a long road ahead still and not sure of outcome but he’s communicating and he’s far far from indifferent.There are similar traits with your ex Aphrodite. Yes they need to be top dogs and independant fiery ladies like us can be fantastic fun but we need to remember their genetic make up of the hunter man who likes to beat there chest!!
Aphrodite, you have been busy!
Yes yes yes to Rori Raye!
A lot of it rings true! In fact all of it!I too am hugely independant and have dug many holes for myself with my ex. It’s the modern phnonoman these days as us women are constantly being told to stand on our own two feet, be independant and match men. It’s only in the last 100 years that things have changed and up til now men were the head of households and main breadwinners. Can you imagine getting married and not being allowed to work anymore! Hahaha. That’s how it was.
Now it’s all about being equal, equal pay,equal opportunity but the fundementals haven’t changed. Men are men and need to feel to have a place in life but with these feminist changes that are happening men aren’t allowed to be men more and more, equally women can’t be women.
I’ve been guilty of being too independant, even my dad told me this the other day. I’ve had to be, I’ve responsibilities and it’s only me in this world so if im guilty of maybe being a bit bossy and getting my own way.
A friend only in the summer told me that I have to let my ex be a man even if it means I have to take a step back and allow my ex to make a mistake. For me, that’s the hardest thing ever in the world because I guess looking back im a control freak myself and need to feel everything is taken care of.So my behaviour just carries on even when my ex is angry, I still stamp my feet which pushes him away more. I can understand a lot what you’ve written and I’ve been trying to address my behaviour but it’s the hardest thing ever. I can relate a lot of your behaviour to mine too.
It’s a tricky one to address because we think differently to them and in times of emotional upset we want support that they can’t give in the way we need it.
Communication helps but a profound understanding in other people is better.
Times like these is when we grow and learn to go forth as a better person, not so tunnelled visionedYes am guilty of making my ex he wasn’t good enough because my standards are stupidly high! It was a case where he was scared to do anything because it might be wrong! Haha. Yes, I’m a girlfriend from hell! Lol
Didn’t take long for my ex to start getting bitter, in fact I’m getting really tired of it. He makes accusations but then doesn’t explain himself.
I’m becoming to the idea that he’s just a tad immature and childish for me. On the other hand I think it’s quite funny how he is.On another note, I’ve cancelled my date tomorrow. Interestingly I text him to apologise and that I thought the distance was too great and again apologised. Anyway, I text him an hour and half ago and he’s not responded. Maybe he won’t which is good because I made the right decision. If he was keen he would have responded and said he was sorry and suggested to meet closer my way. As of yet he hasn’t so presently so I’m glad I used my intuition.
Mike
Yes you deserve answers and it’s not unreasonable to get emotional, if she cries that’s ok. If she cries a lot is it her way of getting out of situations? I don’t know some people can turn water works on too easily. I maybe wrong though and she maybe genuinely emotional and distressed.Atea,
I think we will all feel the void until it’s filled again. I don’t think we ever feel fulfilled being on our own. We can adjust and adapt but we are all meant to be with someone at the end of the day so until the void gets filled I don’t think you will ever be truly happy. Enough time and adjusting needs to happen before we can move on. I don’t think any of us are near that time at all. We need to address all issues before even considering a meaningful relationship, it will take time but you will know when the time is right. That’s another reason why I ditched this guy tomorrow, the distance and I think his personality doesn’t suit me so it’s a waste of time right now. I’d rather go out with the girls and have fun at the moment. Early days still!Thanks atea,
Yes I shall meet this guy, not that I really want to be I think I just need to. It would be quite good if he likes me and I don’t him… Lol. Damn it it’s the other way around!! Haha.Yes it’s a positive step the communication with my ex. He doesn’t have to contribute towards fees and he’s not liable to in any way. He never responded to my last message to him about why does he want to continue. I guess that was pushing a bit much because all he’d have to say is that he wants too that then I would dig more and more.
I just need to back off now, I’m finding NC even harder these days but now I’ve got him to a stage of responding immediately I don’t want to wreck it and start become needy again.How are you feeling atea today?
