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Hi everyone, another sad weekend coming up. I remember it was Mothers Day weekend last year where I first felt things changing. It was that weekend she didn’t acknowledge me selling my old car which we had many memories, didn’t really acknowledge delivery of my new car or discuss what we were doing for Mothers Day.
So it was this weekend last year where life started changing for me. I started feeling the change. I wouldn’t get a good morning from her, no more phone calls, no I love you, and she told me she’s not my soulmate.
I continue to struggle with things being over. Even though months later I try to move on I just can’t mentally. It’s always there in my mind. I have now tried talking to new people but I cant forget her at all. I have dreams about us on a daily basis I’m not sure if that’s normal. Good, bad, miracles of her returning, I see them all in my dreams.
I don’t think it will ever change for me be it if I’m 40, 50, 60. I can be married to someone else but that will never change who I truly wanted. I understand that’s not what she wants but that can’t make me change my feelings. I know for me our love was real and organic. We didn’t meet off some cheezy online dating site. We weren’t looking for love it just happened organically. The connection we had won’t be matched for either of us, I know that.
I just can’t fathom she left and never even gave 1 more chance of us being together again. Not even 1. For a 5 year relationship that often felt like marriage it just seems a tough pill. She was always someone who fights for a relationship but she just walked away. Her best friend even gave her partner so many chances.
I probably need to get therapy once this pandemic ends. How does one get an appointment? Is it through your family doctor?
One thing to do is put yourself above any other guy. She can be seeing or talking to any guy. Your view? You don’t care because you know that guy is nothing compared to you. Once she notices this thinking in you she will respect you a lot I think.
I will give a different view.
He might be playing games. Him calling him by your full name and ignoring you might have been done on purpose for you to notice and feel bad etc.
He liked your Instagram photo.
Do no contact and see if he initiates contact in a month.
You can’t give her an ultimatum that’s not the point of no contact. You definitely should do no contact.
I would not worry about her thinking you still want something from her.
She knows the mutual friend talks to you too. She probably doesn’t want to show she is letting her guard down.
You just need to play it calm. You are getting a meeting that’s great. Just be yourself and don’t come into her. Focus on building attraction in person. Definitely dont stay at hotel. After meeting then reevaluate.
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to update that this chapter is closed and done, unfortunately.
She did not end up meeting me while she was back in town. Instead she sent me a text replying to my letter. She mentioned she cannot erase the past and will not communicate with me.
She did send me photos of her cat in the following days but has again gone quiet. So I guess that was just breadcrumbs.
No worries, time to be strong, time to move on.
Feel a lot of sadness and not sure how to handle it. Tomorrow the 14th would have been our anniversary. Obviously the most exciting day on the calendar for me for the past 5 years.
She is back in town as of couple days ago but we have not met up yet. She said she will let me know when she can. She has messaged me here and there sometimes even initiated which surprised me in a good way. Such as I changed my whatsapp photo one day after a long time and she messaged me saying “new photo!”. I called her yesterday personally and she picked up. I wanted to just welcome her back. Obviously I would love to meet her on the 14th even though it wouldn’t be like yesteryear. I haven’t mentioned the 14th or our anniversary in particular to her as I do not know if she even remembers/cares anymore.
I also told him that the circumstances of us not being able to be together were no longer a thing in an offhanded nonchalant way, but he didnt mention it.
What do you mean when you say this?
Good luck starting no contact again. Work on improving yourself first and foremost.
On a decent day ask him “I would like to talk about us. Would you prefer to do so in person?”. If he doesn’t want to do it in person do it over a phone call or text.
Hey @Carey your last post perfectly describes the situation I was in. I agree, no one deserves to be treated like that. I think us guys hang on to the hope so we keep believing the excuses prior to the breakup.
Four months is a long time for no contact. I would definitely advise 60 days of no contact and then see at that stage what to do and if you want to continue no contact for another 60 days. Perhaps let her know you are feeling hurt over everything that transpired leading up to the break up and for that reason need time alone.
Best of luck to you.
Sorry I should have phrased that a bit better. I meant to say no matter what you do it might not be enough in her mind. But definitely do try to make a full effort definitely.
@patricia12 Yes I finished my exam and also mentioned about it in the letter.
Here is a little update to my story.
I decided to write her a handwritten letter. Since I do not know her address where she is right now I scanned the letter in color and emailed it to her. To be honest I wasn’t expecting any reply as I have learned not to have any expectations at this point.
A few days later she did send me a message saying she received my letter but has been really busy with school so she hopes to reply to me in a couple days.
I replied to her saying not a problem but she never did reply to me few days later. So after a couple more days after that I sent her a message saying I was hoping to hear from you and hope you are enjoying the holiday season.
Well she replied to me asking if I can talk on the phone. I called her the next day and surprisingly she picked up but said she can’t talk on the phone right now. But she said the reason she wanted to talk on the phone was to tell me that she will be back in town in about a week and she prefers to talk in person. I said that’s fair and makes sense.
So that is where it is at right now. There are no other messages or anything.
The letter was kept short and I mentioned some of the things I have improved upon in my life. I also mentioned our bond wasn’t broken but it just needed to be mended and hoped she saw things like that too.
Well lets see now.
