Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
One point to consider and I speak from experience. Guys forgive a partner cheating much much more easily than a woman ever forgives a guy cheating.
We have each other on snapchat but not instagram. Is there any update on your situation? I am guessing you are continuing no contact?
We didn’t talk at all for like a week. If I do not initiate contact she does not. So a day ago I messaged her and expressed I do care about her and wish to be more communicative and a more understanding partner. I said I wish to have her by my side for 2020 and hope she has thought about that as well.
She replied by saying we can talk on the phone.
We talked on the phone and she said she has thought over things and she feels it’s best we move on. When I said okay that’s fair I will let you go now and was ready to get off the phone she said really? So we talked a bit but she wouldn’t budge and said she feels I haven’t done anything to show I still care about her. Came as a shock to me. I guess it’s all about point of view. In my point of view I have flown from Canada to Western USA and never even got her to meet me, I have constantly messaged her, initiated contact, kept conversations going even if she is silent etc. I have called her.
I hope she reconsiders but I do not know what I can do to make her do that. She says she can’t view me the same as before etc.
My story can be found on the above link. 3 months since breakup. Did 30 days of no contact. Started messaging each other and met up twice. She is hot and cold with her messages. For past couple weeks really cold. I hardly get anything from her. Still hoping but at this point it almost seems a lost cause if she is not making an effort to reconcile.
You still have hope just let NC play out and see where it takes you. With time he might forget the negatives and focus on the good things in the relationship. 4 and half years is a long time and those feelings don’t just erode especially since there did not seem to be any big issues such is infidelity etc.
Sounds a lot like the situation with my ex girl and me. I made a lot of the mistakes that your ex made such as not telling her small things. In my case at least I wasn’t up to anything bad but I had a bad tendency to not disclose small things or hide them. The difference is she eventually broke up with me as she felt hurt by everything eventually. I always still had feelings for her and still do.
No gifts but perhaps you can wish him a Merry Christmas. You are already through a good chunk of the NC period so just keep it going.
How was your trip to Vancouver with him? Did anything odd happen there and how was his mood and behavior?
Did you ever act needy or insecure during the last few months with him before the breakup?
@patricia12 Yes doesn’t seem much hope. I have come to grips with it. Still it hurts though.
What do you make of the comment she mentioned about having cancer. I googled it and looks like it happens often an ex telling their former partner that. Many times it’s a hoax to get the other person to meet up etc. but her breaking up with me I do not think that’s the case here. Either way I guess I can’t think about it too much if she is unwilling to share the information with me.
Just an update:
No contact was ended after a month initially. She was back here in the city as her father had a surgery. She met up twice with me during this time. We did what we normally would do on dates such as just walk around the mall.
She mentioned she deleted me from Instagram because I liked a girl’s photo. Even though she has liked many guys’ photos on Instagram since the breakup. Anyhow, she convinced me to get Snapchat and we started talking on there.
We began texting on Snapchat just about every day. Messages were not as frequent as when we were in relationship but she filled me in on what she’s doing etc and I did the same.
One day we talked about US. She mentioned she had a dream about me that I moved on to another girl. I told her no. She said she doesn’t know if we should continue talking as it might just end up hurting us more. She confessed that she told her family that we are no longer together and that we are trying to work things out (not sure if that is true and she actually said that to her family…).
Few days later when I just tried to be nice and maybe send like a hug emoji she said go away and out of the blue she said she might have cancer.
This past weekend I called her and told her I wanted to talk about us. Her messages had gotten cold and short the past week or so. I first asked her about her mentioning cancer and what she meant by that. She said she does not want to talk about it. So we started talking about us. She said she wouldn’t want to be friends either and not waste my time. She would want to start 2020 on a good note so definitely wouldn’t string me along for a long time. I told her yeah, there is no rush to make a decision today but it had been weeks of us talking and trying to reconcile.
She mentioned she still can’t trust me or forgive me. Apparently the main reason for the breakup was the one time when I was playing a game online with a female opponent and I ended up Googling her name. She found out about it and I denied it at first. She has so much hate for this action of mine. I have apologized and vowed to never do something so dumb again. But she seems very stubborn about it.
IF she can’t forgive me after all this time and can’t trust me again after a no contact period and still she never mentions the good about our relationship. Only the mistakes I made. Then I don’t think this will go anywhere.
Tough spot. One advise is to view yourself as ALPHA. There is no one better than you out there. You need to have this mindset. You can’t think what if he is better than me.
I would try to reach out as it’s been a month. Send her a short message apologizing for your behavior. Keep it very short. See what sort of response you get and take it from there.
Yup, girls are the same. Your situation is very similar to mine. I might as well be reading my own situation.
We were together 5 years it was all good until near the end where she got quiet. I would ask whats wrong. Would always get nothing, or dont worry about it, or just a lot on my mind. I even went to visit her as she is in a different city to correct whatever is wrong. She didn’t really open up. We had good time together but when I left the problems still existed. Went on like this for months. I guess her feeling trapped. Until 3 months later she ended it.
She also likes guys photos. I don’t make much of it. I know I am the best for her. It’s her choice if she wants it or not. Funny thing is I liked 1 girl’s photo and she deleted me off Instagram for this just recently.
We have met up twice just recently after I did no contact for a month. Some days her messages are more engaging than other days. Some days we hardly talk. I don’t really think too much about it anymore. If she wants to reignite things then be it if not then that’s fine too. When we met up the two times she mostly complained about me if we talked about us. For me I apologized and am willing to focus on positivity and improvement. No idea what the future holds for me or for you in a very similar case.
Why would you give up on the relationship? He didn’t do anything wrong and seemed like the relationship was good. So what it was long distance at the time?
Best now is to do no contact and then reach out to him after that.
If you want things to progress just reach out to him. Or you will regret it after. Remind him of the kiss being good..
