Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Rihanna,
Hey! As you said whatever happens, happens. If you think it is a dumb move to text him the i miss your lips on my lips but somehow it made you feel better because you were able to express what you truly feel in that moment, then don’t regret it. An emotionally strong individual is someone who can express and acknowledge how she truly feels. And it is courageous of you to admit that to him despite you being ‘just friends’ so I don’t see anything wrong. If he finds it offensive and crossing the line, it is his feelings not yours. What ive learned about breakups is not owning anyone’s feeling in a sense that whatever he feels and however he reacts is a reflection of him, not of you. Anyway, i think he might have fainted when you texted that because you said he had been affectionate lately and he might have blushed too much and his eyes became heart-shaped so he wasn’t able to reply 😀
To the Oldies:
Rihanna, A. Z., Dara, Daniel, Steve, Edward, Festival David.
Hey guys. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. This friendship, no matter how anonymous we are to each other, feels so genuine. That at times I feel uplifted with just a thought of taking a visit here. I wish we are all close in place so that we can hang-out. Wow, totally cool, fun and beautifully broken people. Lol
I lost the ex but I gained friends. I am more excited to being with you all than with the ex. Lol
I know this sounds too gay but, i love you guys :-*
Dara,
Hey hey man! Do you got some girls for me and Daniel? Lol. I was thinking how attractive you really are! Haha. I am happy for you, man!
Rihanna,
Hey! I told you I won’t judge. I think it is just normal because as you said everyone around you is getting pregnant or married. It might be a pressure or an inspiration especially now that you can’t have either of the two because you are still ‘just friends’ with the ex.
Just like what Dara said, what’s done is done. You tell him it’s just wrong send. Lol, kidding. He might argue with you if you do. It is okay. Just let it pass. But I suggest the next time during times like that keep your phone away from you. It’s like some kind of drunk texting only you are not drunk but just moved by the happenings around you.
He ignored it because he is confused too. One time you are acting indifferent and now you do that. You are both not stable yet. And for me, it is just fine. At least you are honest.
When you know you will be in a happy company concerning couples, you can leave your phone behind. Or before you go to such happy event you stick a note to your drawer where your phone is, as if talking to yourself to wake up. Or whatever quote that will put you back in reality. Lol. Or have someone hold your phone for you 🙂
Aaaargh!
Hey hey hey!
These guys are getting hot in here. Dara and Daniel. Lol.
I remembered Kevin said to initiate contact we must use the ‘something reminded me of you’ text. And guess what, a while ago I was planning to playing a prank on my ex. Though I will not really do it but my mind is getting kinky lol.
I was thinking I will br sending her a message like, something reminded me of you today. And when she asks what i will be telling her I had mussels for lunch.
If you know what I mean. Lol. Excuse us, ladies! It’s been months since our last you know lol
Hi, Oldies.
If you could please give some advice to Smily whose thread is named as “Y he broke up with me?”
I cannot fully give a sound advice because I want to punch his guy on the face. Lol Thank you!
And if that is what he wants (for you to change physically plus your behavior) I think it wouldn’t hurt if you will do. But make sure you will be the one who will be benefiting the most for that change.
If he takes you back because you changed then good for you. But if he won’t, then I think it will not be your lost since you have improved yourself.
As for now, do NO CONTACT. And while doing NC improve yourself.
And please eat healthy and exercise so you won’t get sick. And read some self-help books online. And subscribe to sites where they promote positivity. I promise, it will do you a lot good.
Do 30days of NC. And when you can say that you are already improved and confident and healthy. Then try contacting him again.
Good luck, Smily! Don’t forget to smile! 🙂
Oh my. What a dickhead he is. Sorry but if you are insecure, clingy, desperate I would understand why he lost interest. But with him telling you you are fat and wanting you to put braces, that is a lot of red flag already.
I don’t think he loves you. Maybe he is saying that he is emotionally connected to you because you have been attached. But he wants you to change for him.
If you are pessimistic, I would understand him. But it really pisses me off that he is dictating you to change physically. He’s more concerned for you to be pretty than to get well because you are sick. Since when did you become his trophy?!
Sorry, Smily. But the next time you talk tell him I said he is a douche.
P. S. I am even so obssessed with my ex-girlfriend’s crooked tooth
P. P. S. I will ask my friends to give you advice 🙂
Oh hi, Oldies!
A. Z.
I guess what you are planning to do now is good. If you feel like you missed a step which is re-attraction, it wouldn’t hurt to do it. After all, I guess if that is what you think, you cannot fully move on since you feel like there is some step missing. You can try the re-attraction and if it didn’t work then reevaluate things. If you feel like you’ve done everything you can then maybe it is time to pack up and leave.
I am not a believer of false friendship, sorry. I was doing it before then it sucks. Lol. Because I was playing it cool around the ex but then I realized it did me no good because I was also fooling myself. Trying to act happy towards her but I really am not. As if I am also playing some mind games on myself. So what I did was ask her to meet personally because I cannot go on like this forever. It is like all or nothing. If she doesn’t want me the way I want her then I don’t want her at all. Not even friendship.
So we talked and I told her I want her back. But she rejected me and so it hurts. But after that I felt a lot better because that was the sign I was asking for if I should move on. Because of meeting her personally and knowing the real score I was able to decide that I should move on. Because I don’t want to waste another months to come to wait who will take the initiative and who will lower that f****g pride and ego.
So now it’s been a month since we last talked. She was the one initiating contact before and I think she got tired so she no longer contacts me. And I wouldn’t give in to whatever trap she made by not contacting me. I will never be the one to contact her first, she broke up with me. I did chase for 2 plus months and I told myself I’ve had enough.
She posted i miss you and I don’t know if that was for me but I just ignored it. I am moving on and I don’t want her back. Because of the breakup it became clear to me what I want and what I wouldn’t want in a partner.
It is hard to be with someone who had given you a space in his life but you don’t know exactly where. As for me, if you keep thinking where you stand in someone’s life then maybe it is time to stop asking and start walking away instead. If he wants you in his life, he will make an effort to do so. And the moment you start questioning whether he loves you or not, maybe he don’t. He might just want to keep you around for backup. A. Z. you are no one’s plan B.
The mantra that has helped me to move on is this:
“Don’t go around chasing people. If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them. Maybe they are not meant to be in your future. Your life is with those people who stay.”
Plus this,
“The Universe does not take what it can’t replace”
🙂
Smily,
Aside from him telling you that you are no linger beautiful, I can say that maybe he lost attraction because you are so dependent, clingy, desperate, needy and insecure.
You expect him to be there for you with your situation but maybe you have been so negative that it is weighing him down too. So maybe what he did is he pulled back and run away from you before your negativity drowns him.
It is wrong to expect him to make you happy, make up for your loss now, and put up with you. He has his own life too and own problems. Maybe he sees that you are not doing anything to get out of that situation. He knows you are sick but you are not paralyzed to not be able to make positive changes.
Maybe he sees you cannot compose yourself so don’t expect him to be there for you when you cannot be with yourself.
I mean, if you are sick I would take care of you. But if you are sick and you rant about everything even on nonsensical things, it would be suffocating for me. Some days I might be affected with your negativity. So that part makes the difference. If yoy are sick but you still find ways to make yourself happy, then it is no big deal. But if you are sick then you rant about everything about your situation, then it might be something. Maybe he got fed up with your emotional drama or negativity.
So i suggest, you get rid of those during NC. But do it for yoyrself first because if you do it for him, it will inly be temporary. You cannot make someone love you if you don’t love yourself.
Hi, Smily.
I am just like you. An overthinker. Worst, a negative one. I am insecure too. But that was before. The breakup and the no contact do me good. I am back in shape again. All round up and happy.
I see you just broken up. Just like you, before, my judgement is clouded because all I can think is I WANT HER BACK. No matter how bad, how ugly, how senseless our relationship is.
You arr just on the first stage of moving on so it is normal with your attitude. But looking from your story, it pains me to read that he lost his interest eith you day by day because you are fat and he wants a beautiful girlfriend. Wow, what a…
Would you want to be with someone who only obviously likes you before because you are beautiful? No. I guess, with him telling you that you no longer attract him is already a red flag
But I know too that no matter how much I tell you that he is a di** or you don’t deserve him, I know it wouldn’t lessen your desire to want him back. I was in your shoes months before and I would understand you.
If you really want to increase chances of getting back, then do no contact. I can never be sure with that but maybe somehow it will make him miss you. To do successful NC, don’t just do it for the sake of wanting him back. Improve yourself. Go out. Exercise. Be a person of positivity. And make it a habit. He lost interest because you are insecure and clingy. It is very unattractive. So might as well learn how to be confident and self sufficient. Good luck!
Hani,
Hi. You can always come here. This is like a support-group for the brokenhearted. I, myself, would rather go here and talk to anonymous friends because with them I feel more connected than with my real life friends.
The last time I messaged them about my situation and they kinda cut me off because we have to do something more important. Since then I never tried opening up to them, afraid that they got fed up with the drama though I only did it once with them.
This site and these people will be of big help. I am batchmates here with the oldies. The first time we are here we were so desperately dying to get our exes back. But look at us now, having some sense of good pride to not rely our happiness onto someone. And to know when to keep trying or just simply walk away 🙂
A. Z.
Hi! I guess Dara is right by saying that he has some kind of support to make you feel rejected with your words. I think that is what my ex had done too. She is not really a talker and she stutters but when the last time we saw each other, she talked to me confidently about how much I should consider moving on and put the past in the past. And guess ehat, it worked to my advantage. Because of what she told me and how she treated me, I hated her.
It helped me a lot to move on. And because of that I realized my self-worth. Like if you don’t like me then I don’t like you too. I am more of pleading myself than pleasing her.
What you’ve done is great. As they say you don’t have to always fix what is broken. Sometimes you have to make a stand because if you don’t, years from now you will still see yourself stuck on the same place. You will be missing out a lot if you will stick to him when he no longer serves you.
Let go of what is weighing you down to give more room to something more worth it 🙂
