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Is is really that simple though @samuel ? Do you have any previous experiences as a male you can let me in on in regards to situations like this? I just feel like asking for a third chance is too much ! I do know he is moving forward in his new career as a police man and will be having the physical very soon. This could have stressed him out in regards to our relationship more do you think ? He is 30 years old and is finally getting his career and life sorted and I was supporting him to do that but perhaps by arguing and unhappiness got the better of him… What do you think also in regards to the social media, where he has deleted me and a good male friend of mine off Facebook and instagram for no apparent reason. Its not even like we post anything either.
Hey Kaila, I am also not getting much of a response, it sucks hey we all come here for the support of being heartbroken lol. I am in a somewhat similar position where I gave my world to my ex boyfriend. I loved him so much but other stressors in my life bubbled into our relationship caused by me. One thing you still have going for you is your ex is still in contact with you somewhat and you are meeting up this weekend. Have you noticed any push pull behaviour ? It sort of seems like it with him saying he’d like to be with you (push) but isn’t ready (pull). They say men need more time to recover from a breakup and I don’t mean that in necessarily a bad way but he could be trying to recover from the negativity (if there was any) surrounding your relationship.
Its very tricky to realise if they are just contacting us cause they pity us or miss our affection or truly want us back. I have no idea.
Hey Samuel, its a very tricky situation for you. I can’t believe you have made it 5 months without her, congratulations !!! In regards to your last post about the pj’s I’m not too sure about that one, given you have been broken up for quite a while it may just obviously come across as a ploy to get to her but I can’t be too sure, thats just my opinion lol.
Also KD1988 I am in a very similar situation to you in regards to my boyfriend, my whole life was in shambles but he was the only good thing about it yet the rest of the shit affected our relationship to where he also said he doesn’t love me anymore. It really hurts hey. However for me this is the second time its happened with us :(. At least you guys are still in contact though :).
Would love you guys opinion on my latest post “social media” don’t really know what to do with myself.
Hey @tg7188, I’ve read through your whole story and parts of it resonate with me and my breakup, however sadly for me this is my second breakup with this boyfriend so i’ve lost pretty much all hope. I was wondering if you could post a copy of the letter you sent him and what you said if it seemed to be so effective :). I have no idea what to do in regards to my situation with my ex. I loved him so much and we had been back together for about 5 months and fell back into old patterns sadly. But this time I didn’t see the breakup coming as quickly.
Hey cj03, sounds like that went positively between you both :). I wouldn’t address that her behaviour contributed to you deactivating your Facebook as who knows what that could do. However I would address it now just with a simple message perhaps saying that you did in fact deactivate your Facebook for a couple weeks as you needed a break from social media and maybe mention that social media wasn’t beneficial for you at that time and you wanted to get out with friends rather than just chatting to them behind a computer. Don’t direct it at her and that it was because seeing her on Facebook made it hard or that you were really down during that period but just that you needed to get out and be active rather than sitting on Facebook. I’m not sure though thats just my opinion just a brief response so hopefully it can be passed over.
@Bullmoose that is some fabulous advice ^ !!!!! I would love your opinion on my predicament 🙂
It does indeed. I’m sure you having some clarity and understanding from you ex makes it a bit easier. You know you both won’t be together and you’re being strong about it. And you still have plenty of time if you’re 32 ! The feeling of love is wonderful but when its gone it leaves you in a worse off position I feel. It appears your ex has given you the definitive answer that you both can’t and won’t be together now and for quite a long time and I’m sure that helps a lot, but its that pesky feeling of hope right haha.
I would also love you opinion on my latest post. Feeling really down and out today and just wish I didn’t have feelings of hope or love anymore.
Oh ok I get you that makes a bit more sense now but must have been hard for him to hear that. Men are so sensitive when it comes to sex related topics haha.
Thats a real shame to hear you guys aren’t going to get back together at least not for quite a while! But at least he’s acknowledged he needs help to get his life in order and work some of his problems out. I wish my ex would do the same. He has a few problems and struggles in the communication department yet he blames just me and only me for all the issues.
Do you feel you’re ready to date? How long is it since you’ve been broken up ? I don’t feel ready at all. Went on one date as I’m sure you’ve read and got slammed for it even though it wasn’t even a date. But its been almost 2 months for me and I still feel in the same spot 🙁
Hey TravelBug, how come you told him you used to fake orgasms ? I’m not sure what the context was but I’m sure that might have been quite upsetting to hear. I know men prefer it if women are honest and that they don’t have an orgasm they just don’t do anything.
I am in the same predicament with this “friends” situation. I honestly have no idea how we’re supposed to be friends. Like everyone says you can’t just be friends with you ex. i’m starting to see where they;re coming from because I am still so in love with my ex! I think if you’re strong enough to be his friend and accept that that’s all you may ever be and then watch him move on potentially then I guess you can.Though we’re all on this website for the same reason right ! To get them back so the friends thing I’m not sure on. I’m in quite a tough spot myself regarding whether I should be friends with my ex because its killing me and I’m not sure if I can just be his friend.
I’m not sure though cause we were friends and stuff before hand but he’s kept stuffing me around and now he doesn’t seem to want any contact with me and stuff. I did ask him for a week off but still he seems mad and want nothing to do with me and now deleted
My friend off facebook noe not sure why he did that and it just seems like he’s moving on :(. I’m gonna do the no contact for myself cause even If he came back in not sure if I’d want to be together otherwise I’d need a lot of proof that he won’t do this too me again. I don’t know how to deal with him not even giving a shit about our relationship we had and not even wanting to fight for it and then messaging other chicks on tinder. Like how do I deal with thatIts been 5 weeks today actually. We started out friends and I obviously begged and pleaded with him trying to convince him I’d changed, was overly emotional a lot, messaged him hear and there, then he decided he wanted a relationship again and would try anything to make it work then 5 days later changed his mind (I might have been a bit too intense) but we were happy during that time again. That was when he began growing more cold and distant, didn’t message me as often, just dirty messaged me and expected I would be FWB with him which he knew I didn’t want to do. And again only last week I was emotional with him again trying to convince him to give us another chance. So I’ve done everything wrong pretty much :/. He’s moved on and is using tinder regularly to try and pick up girls, snap chatting a new person somewhat regularly i think, or at least receiving them anyway. He also deleted my best friend off Facebook yesterday (not much I know) but he kept her on there and deleted me and all my other friends but has now deleted her 🙁
Well hey at least he responds 😛 unlike my old ex hey haha. But we are in the exact same boat it seems (though you’re doing a bit better I believe). I’ve tried to throw myself back out there and start chatting to guys again but I don’t know how I feel about it. I just feel sad I can’t wake up next to my ex each morning which was a great feeling. I know I should stop thinking like this but blah don’t know how haha.
I think you’ll be alright, I’m sure you have lots of activities you can throw yourself into right ? I feel like I don’t have that much at all and that drags me down even further unfortunately ! I did actually go to a clairvoyant yesterday which was interesting and very positive and helped me a bit surprisingly. He said he saw new love for me soon and that my ex may try and come back into my life. They were just a few things he said but I didn’t cry at all during my session and it sort of helped me. In my case though I think the 30 days is a bit late now to try and help me get back together with my ex which I am kicking myself for thats for sure. He just used me up til he was done with me emotionally :(. I’ve made too many mistakes to begin with, but you’re lucky cause you’ve made a few mistakes here and there (though I’m sure they seem major right?).
I feel the same way about my ex. As though he’s responding and being there for me purely out of pity. However when I’ve sent cute nice things like that to my ex he’s just like “yeah that was good/nice” not ideal responses in my opinion. However he was interested in what you had to say and show rather than just ending the convo then and there. You two sound like you have some nice memories together especially if you have videos together, sounds lovely to me. I wish I had some really cute nice stuff like that with my ex, though it is good I don’t because I would find myself looking at them too much. I myself have given up completely on my ex 🙁 . Its very hard and sad for me to say that but its the truth. He doesn’t want us to have many happy memories together even as “friends” and I feel like he’s been pushing me to the point where I myself back off making it easy on him because he doesn’t have to back off. I believe you can keep going which is great and super positive as well :). Let me know how you’re managing to get through right now, I’m to the point where I’m so angry and disappointed in his behaviour where I have to do it out of respect for myself but it kills me 🙁
Lol whoops sorry guys ! I’ve never actually been on a forum ever before ! My university has them for each subject but even then I never use them 😛 . I thought I was good at using the internet lol obviously not haha I have no idea how this stuff works. Lynnwrigley my post is in reconciliation (again whoops haha didn’t even occur to me, but then again reconciliation is the most active forum). Also Leslie, that seems like a really positive message you got back from your ex. Sending really cute videos and he wanted to see them and thought they were really cute is good! I wish my ex showed that kind of interest regarding how happy we used to be together ! I believe the fact he is interested in those great moments together is a really positive sign 🙂
