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  • #38871
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Hello fellow heartbroken ! So I am back on here again after a second breakup with the same boyfriend. Devastated again obviously as I certainly didn’t see it coming this time. We argued a lot, mostly it was me arguing and him getting angry at me for that. I have been very unhappy in many aspects of my life and I had no outlet. I moved back in with him after we got back together to help him out which was probably silly but I wanted to help him out as he needed a roommate desperately. Things started going downhill a month ago, but we had a chat just over a week ago and I was committed to changing things cause the talk he gave me was an ultimatum pretty much. Things were going good for a couple days when his mood changed for the two days before he broke up with me where he was agitated for no apparent reason. Anyway I finally got it out of him that he didn’t love me anymore and can’t do this relationship anymore. So its exactly the same as the last breakup we had.

    He has also gone about our breakup in the exact same way as last time. This brings me to my next question. Last time he deleted me off Facebook, deleted my friends except for one close one, and deleted me off instagram. He has just recently done this again the day we broke up. But again kept a good friend of mine that was staying with us for about 3 weeks just before we broke up. I haven’t contacted him since I moved out of our house on the saturday and have yet to hear from him.

    I really don’t know what I should do. I’m guessing since its the second breakup no man is stupid enough to come back for a third time. I know we need time and distance for sure this time. Whereas last breakup we didn’t do that. Any advice would be appreciated 🙂

    #38982
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Any help please

    #39039
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    Okay well i say play the same game again! Do NC for 30 days become a your better self, improve factors of your life that you think need it! Write the magic letter or simply text him when your better! Ask about something he likes or was trying to succeed at doing!

    If you did it once you can do it again! And stay positive and youll have him again!

    #39044
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Is is really that simple though @samuel ? Do you have any previous experiences as a male you can let me in on in regards to situations like this? I just feel like asking for a third chance is too much ! I do know he is moving forward in his new career as a police man and will be having the physical very soon. This could have stressed him out in regards to our relationship more do you think ? He is 30 years old and is finally getting his career and life sorted and I was supporting him to do that but perhaps by arguing and unhappiness got the better of him… What do you think also in regards to the social media, where he has deleted me and a good male friend of mine off Facebook and instagram for no apparent reason. Its not even like we post anything either.

    #39058
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    He is keeping your clost friend maybe to ask questions about you and still kind of keep you around

    As for examples, my brother dated a girl 7 years and they kept breaking up but my brother always gave her chances!

    And i’m also on my way to becoming a cop although im much younger but i can say that it is stressful! So yes it could of stressed you relationship

    #39062
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    He also became good friends with this friend of mine as she lived with us temporarily just before we broke up. But he hasn’t talked to her since we’ve broken up obviously so i don’t understand the point. I understand if he deleted us because he doesn’t want my friends also showing me his profile but thats not the case cause this one friend can still show me.

    Did your brother and this girlfriend stay together forever ? Our key problem was obviously the arguing and falling back into old patterns, especially as we moved back in together far too quickly. Did they argue a lot over petty stuff and that caused the end of the relationship ?

    Oh congrats on the cop thing too :). I bet it is stressful especially for my ex who is 30 and is keen to get out of the retail business and really get started on his career. However you are still willing to make your relationship work with your ex, however it appears mine is not.

    I just have this dreading feeling that it really is over between us. A few of his friends will be encouraging and congratulating him for breaking up with me. So he would most likely be too embarrassed to come back to me again especially because of them hey?

    #39065
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    That could be but also if he really loves you he will come back!

    As for my brother he is not with her no more because she was insane.. like really really fucked up!

    #39068
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Yeah but I’m no treat either in a relationship. I came with a lot of baggage because of stuff with my family has affected me my whole life, issues with money, work and university are also getting to me. And he was the only one in the world who knew all of this about me yet didn’t understand that when I was upset it wasn’t always directed at him. I don’t know what to do.

    #39101
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    Let time erase the bad memories fade, do NC

    #39103
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Yeah I’m trying but in all honesty as a male do you think it can overcome this a second time to give our relationship a third try? I think everything was great, I was a bit high maintenance and I was unhappy in many aspects of my life that spilled over into our relationship but he was the light in my life.

    #39107
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    If he loves you yes he will give you a third chance because when a men is in love they love forever amd are always willing to give the girl chances!

    #39108
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Lol i wish you are right. However when we broke up he said he doesn’t love me anymore :'( haha. And if mens friends don’t like you i feel that really doesn’t help a situation does it? I’ve got so many factors work against me I feel like its impossible

    #39117
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    Well its the same with women see all sexes are afected by what their peers think of them when it should not work that way! See i myself do things my own way and go against the people i love for what i want for example none of them wants me to date my ex again but i told them i dont care what you say if she comes back i want you to accept that i’ll take her back! But not all men are like me.. and exes always say that but its not true see i believe that once someone is in love that love never fades its only buried deep in thwir hearts because they dont want to be hurt again :/ thats what our exes are doing protecting themselves but they still love us trust me!

    #39118
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Yeah friends whispering in their ears make it very difficult hey ! I know I would be able to stand up to myself and my friends about my ex but I don’t think he would be able to to be honest. He is a very strong man, but is also a people pleaser. I have however made a plan on how to get my life back on track and am hoping it works to make myself happier, but could also affect my relationship with him, because if I’m happy our relationship would be much happier. But I shouldn’t think about that cause he and I might not ever get there.

    #39152
    samuel
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1012

    We never know but i see you guys coming back 🙂

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