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I do take comfort in that he has been feeling just as shit as I have, but how do we know that its not just cause he’s been used to my company for two years. Like the missing me but not ever wanting to be with me again ? I would love to see him but I also don’t want to push him, I pushed him a lot into seeing me a lot last year when we broke up, so he always had his fix and always saw that I was still struggling massively. However this time I think he has no idea whats going on with me which is why he accepted me back and initiated conversation last night. I also just wonder though if he was feeling lonely the night before his birthday. But he could have had plans but cancelled them because he is “not ready” whatever that means. Last year he strung me along quite a bit saying he wanted to get back together and then not. Could this be another game in a way, cause last year he knew how much the way he did things hurt me. I feel positive about this interaction but also negatively as it appears he night truly be able to get over me this time which I don’t think I want. Today’s the birthday, I will be sending him a message later today. And then I will be going to see his dog next week when he’s at work. Some things he has said and done don’t add up as this breakup he did not specify he wants to be friends ! He could later down the track and just not have told me but I don’t know. This is 2 out of 3 times now he has initiated conversation the first just being a meaningless text about the money and then last night which was more of a conversation. I’m freaking out a bit lol and this has set me back a bit as I have no idea what to do. I probably won’t hear from him for a while.
And 7 days is good :), I was at 8 yesterday when my ex contacted me. And I also take a bit of comfort in the fact my ex added me back onto his Facebook. Same with yours as if you had something to hide, or someone specifically you think they wouldn’t allow us back on. But they have !
Just be careful with how you look at and approach things.. It’s easy to Mis-interpret or Mis-read the signs, given the level of emotion involved.. Like we discussed before, don’t overthink every little comment action or reaction.. This will cause you to do or say something that might throw up a red flag.. Take your time..
As for my ex adding me on Facebook, to tell you the truth.. I believe that it may have been a similar situation to yours. I really feel that she was stalking my page and accidentally “requested” me. After accepting it, she couldn’t really un-friend me immediately because she would have to explain to me why she was stalking my page..lol..
I have made a couple of random “posts” on FB about my kid leaving for the weekend and that I’m looking for things to do while she’s gone.. Because I know that my ex is looking at that as well.. So, I guess we’ll see what happens..
Well its hard enough as it is and then these few things get thrown in which are quite different to how he behaved last time. He’s probably still chatting up chicks, but last night I’m assuming he felt lonely and sad on the night before his birthday and sent me a message. He was probably just sad right and was looking for a bit of a pick me up and it didn’t really mean much and that it might be an unconscious mind game on his behalf to keep me hanging around right ? I’ve pretty much given up on the relationship but part of me just wishes we could have another chance to try things completely differently without me living with him and with me settled in a new place away from my family issues too. Like he broke up with me because he says he loves me but doesn’t love love me. Yet the fact he told me he can’t see me makes me wonder. He’s giving all these mixed signals so I’m feeling everything from happiness, to sadness, to a little bit of hope and a lot of negativity haha.
Yeah, but that is how our minds work right now.. We are trying to rationalize the behavior rather then taking it for face value..
Right now your ex is on the fence, one push either way will determine the path he takes.
He kept himself busy as long as possible, now he’s drifting back towards you..
Even though in your mind you think that he’s been “chatting” up other women, you can’t be sure..
Keep the communication upbeat and as “vanilla” as possible. Eventually it will become deeper, don’t rush it though..
Yeah I’m trying to stay positive 🙂 I will be sending him a message soon too :). Its only been 3 weeks though thats still a little soon to drift back though isn’t it ? I’m not being needy and emotional and if I ever see him soon i’m going to try hard not to be then either. How can I push him the opposite way away from me though ? I’m still going to do very limited contact though. I will message him in regards to seeing his dog in the next week and then i’m going to leave it a while. I doubt in there he will contact me again though. But I don’t also want to push him away but cutting off contact significantly. He does know I will be busy soon though particularly as I told him about my new move which he said was “awesome” lol.
Also in regards to your ex you should go do something fun/crazy lol. I’m into tattoos and have quite a few, and last year I went and got a new one when we broke up. I posted it to fb with an explanation about it and my ex (who wasn’t friends with me either) commented on it haha. I don’t know just something different perhaps for you to think about
Well JAM I just sent my ex the birthday text. I had already given him the present I had gotten him when I left the house we lived in together as I was super excited to give it to him. It was a star wars gift (he is obsessed with star wars). In my message i said Happy birthday :). Have a wonderful day and i hope you get spoilt. I have you’ve played some star wars poker after the new star wars trailer. Have a good one. He responds not even 2 minutes later saying “Thanks. Haven’t used it yet but Im keen too and just having a quiet one. Thanks again”. I guess thats as good as it could have gone right ?
You just don’t want to bombard him with attention ie:text’s, IM’s, phone calls.. Etc. anything that may push him back to the reason why he left.. Pretend as much as possible that you are the one that is “Idifferent” he’s shown his weekness, you have the upper hand..
By the way, I spent 3hrs in the chair already for this last one.. And 5Hrs in the chair for the previous ex.. So, I’m already there..lol..
Oh no I don’t call him and we have only exchanged a few messages and then the conversation last night. What do you think of the text i sent him today and his response. I tried not to show too much weakness to him. I just said I’m doing as best I can these days and have some good things coming :D.
Oh so you already have tattoos ? lol. I love me some ink haha. My last tattoo was the structure of the neurotransmitter dopamine. I studied psychology at uni and dopamine is involved in love happiness, pleasure and learning.
Ehhhhh.. “Best I can” sounds a little neutral, but still kind of has a weakend feeling to it.. Given the fact that this is your third shot.. You have to step extra careful on this one..
At least your tattoos have a meaning and are cool.. I have a large one on my left arm up to my collar bone.. Then a decent sized one on my right arm.. I’m actually a really good artist just got involved in the corporate world, so nothing goes below sleeve level. My ex “before” this last one..is super tattooed up but really hidden.. Both of my last ex’s are 5’2″ so, not much to work with.. Lol..
Well i just sent my ex a message as obviously its his birthday and I just felt like overwhelmingly sad for him as he shouldn’t be alone on his birthday with very few friends and no family where we live. It wasn’t even a sadness for me but for him as its not right. I sent him a text saying “Hey I know what you said last night but if you don’t have any plans did you want to catch up as its your birthday. If you’re having a quiet one it just doesn’t seem right its your birthday” he responded not much later saying “As much as i would like that I still can’t. To be honest my emotions are a mess atm and I think if I see you it will be too much. I appreciate the offer though”. I responded back “I understand. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you need as you shouldn’t be alone on your birthday. The offers there if you want platonically” and he responded simply “thanks nat”. It might have been wrong but this wasn’t even for me it was for him because it is so wrong that he’s so lonely on his birthday. I just wish I could do something for him. I don’t really know how to interpret his response. It saddens me for him but makes me worry a bit about him too. It certainly doesn’t look like we’ll get back to where we were. Or back at all in general.
Ah yeah the corporate world is hard, but in Australia so many people are covered in tattoos, so many sleeves and now thigh and calf tattoos are super popular too. I have a couple which i regret the placement, but theres nothing I can really do and it should affect my career too much. Lol they sound like midgets I’m 5’7″ i think in american height lol
Yeah, you can take my 7Days of no contact and reset it back to zero.. 🙁 I text her late lastnight or early this morning after a night of heavy drinking.. I said that she should come over to my place and that I thought that it would be a long shot.. She responded “maybe a few hours ago, but not now” so I don’t know how to interpret that.. I should not have said anything, I feel dumb this morning..
At least what I said about your ex was right on.. He is emotional still about your relationship. He will eventually give in, he’s trying to stick by his decision, give him a little space this is where it could go one way or the other depending on how you pursue it..
Lol well its understandable that you messaged her, look at the fool i made out of myself by asking him if he wanted to hang out. She still responded well, not sure if she thought it was a booty call or something though :P.
How do you know he’ll give in though ? Yesterday I was quite upset at me messaging him and then him saying once again that his emotions are a mess. Is he trying to toy with me and lead me on just to make himself feel better ? Because not long after I let him know that we could do something platonically fr his birthday as I thought it was so wrong he was alone he went out and bought a video game that his mate who hates me obviously told him to get. He then uploads a photo of it tagging this friend about it. Like what the hell just after I had asked him and he says that shit and then goes on and posts that and I just feel like a dick because he could just be saying shit to keep me on a leash.
He’s not leading you on, he just hasn’t dealt with the emotions involved in the break up in the proper way.. He’s still avoiding you because he knows that if he saw you, it could possibly change his mind about you two working things out..
Guys are dumb.. The harder you try to understand and analyze what he is saying, the more frustrated you’ll become.
I text my ex after I posted here.. I told her that I appologized for that text and that it was inappropriate, told her that I was just lonely, depressed and a few other things. She responded and said that she had been drinking as well and that she was feeling lonely as well lastnight.. She asked what I was doing today and asked if I’d like to go with her on a trip.. So, I picked her up and we spent the past 5hrs together talking and catching up.. Kept it really light joked and talked like we used to, didn’t talk about us at all..
She asked what I was doing for the rest of the weekend, I told her that I didn’t have any plans. If she can get her mom to watch her son, we may do something tonight.. We’ll see, the weather is horrible here.. It’s been snowing off and on for the past couple of days.. Yes, snowing..
Even though we hung out, it really doesn’t have that “positive” feel to it. I guess I’ll have to take what I can get, which is more than most people on here can say..
Yeah but you know those articles and people that say your ex contacts you cause they miss
You but are also looking for an ego boost ? His motives are very strange I really have no idea why he’s saying what he’s saying and if it’s the truth. Cause I hadn’t contacted him in ages
But he was the one who messaged me and said some things that made me
Go backwards in a way. And I am so frustrated he’s driving me crazy because nothing makes sense and doesn’t align with his break up reasonsAnd you’re like me. You don’t feel confident in what’s happening wirh your ex but at least she’s willing to see you and even bring you out with her mum and son. Let us know how
It goes and any other suggestions you have for
Me and my ex since he’s acting crazy lol. With my ex it’s same shit different year in reference to our breakup last year. Hes drinking Nd saying things that lead me on a bit and bought a new video game that he will just sit there playing with his mate.Yeah, but he’s isolating himself in a way to protect himself. He’s figuring that time will help him to stop feeling how he feels.. If you are careful with how you approach things, be there in the back of his mind but not the first thing on his mind.. You are doing a good job of that currently, just don’t push it too fast or too soon..
I don’t feel confident with the ex because today’s conversation really didn’t push the needle one way or the other.. Still just kind of floating around in Limbo..
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