Boards Reconciliation Just re-established contact, need advice regarding facebook

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  • #12575
    cj03
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 16

    So I just re-established contact with my ex after 30 days of no contact. Simply told her a videogame we used to play together reminded me of her for the first time in awhile and it made me smile. Hoped she was doing well.

    Within 30 min, she replied very positively. Stated she had been playing that videogame too and had been thinking about me too recently. She then asked me a friendly question about the game.

    I answered the question and then told her that I had to go and we could talk further later. (I wanted to keep things brief and to only show her that i had thought positively about her and that I was ok with talking again).

    I didn’t check my messages for the rest of the day (I didn’t want to wait around for any further response as I figured it’d just be something like “ok talk to you later”)

    When I finally checked my messages I saw she had sent me two more messages. She had responded 30min after I sent her my message that said that I had to go. Her first message spoke briefly again about the videogame that she played and then stated too that she had to go and told me to have a nice day.

    The final message is where I need some help. 30 minutes after stating that she had to go, she sent another message saying “oh by the way some day, you’ll have to tell me why you blocked me on facebook.. :/”

    The truth is, I never blocked her from facebook. The very first day that I started no contact with her, she got very angry that I wasn’t replying to her messages. By the end of the first day, she told me that since I was ignoring her, she was done with me. So, she removed me as a facebook friend. After she unfriended me, I felt pretty bad about things, so I sent her a brief message that simply said “I need some space to deal with things.” This is when my 30 days started.

    During the 30 days, I never contacted her. However, I had some difficulty preventing myself from looking at her facebook. So I deactivated my own facebook profile to help myself. I kept it deactivated for the final week and a half of my 30 days. This worked for me and I haven’t looked at her facebook since. I have since reactivated my facebook.

    Now regarding her message about blocking her, I think she must have went to my facebook during that week and a half. She must have seen my profile no longer was coming up and she assumed I had blocked her.

    I don’t know how to respond to her claim of me blocking her or if I even should. I really don’t want to talk about anything that could start a negative conversation like this. Is it bad if I don’t address it? She did say “some day”, so it’s not like she needs an answer any time soon.

    #12643
    Coolcat
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 374

    Hey cj03, sounds like that went positively between you both :). I wouldn’t address that her behaviour contributed to you deactivating your Facebook as who knows what that could do. However I would address it now just with a simple message perhaps saying that you did in fact deactivate your Facebook for a couple weeks as you needed a break from social media and maybe mention that social media wasn’t beneficial for you at that time and you wanted to get out with friends rather than just chatting to them behind a computer. Don’t direct it at her and that it was because seeing her on Facebook made it hard or that you were really down during that period but just that you needed to get out and be active rather than sitting on Facebook. I’m not sure though thats just my opinion just a brief response so hopefully it can be passed over.

    #12673
    cj03
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 16

    Thanks nattycatty1 for the response. I agree with you that I shouldn’t mention to her that she was the reason for deactivating my facebook. I think you’re right that it needs to be addressed briefly and hopefully can be quickly moved on from. Thanks again.

    #12850
    cj03
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 16

    Saw her on skype today, so I addressed that I had never blocked her on facebook. Then I followed it up with a casual message about a funny news story on the web, that was relevant to her interests. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive any response from her so far and she has since logged off. I’m not stressing it though. Just going to give her space for now. Re-establishing contact with her is probably stirring up a lot of emotions with her.

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