Loraina

Hi all!
I’m glad to hear that most peeler are feeling better about things on here!
Dara
Your messages always make me laugh! Your ex seems like a really negative piece of work. I’m glad that your taking the steps to date and move forward as much as you are.
A.z
I hope the date was amazing!!
Sinead
Stay strong! You can do this. Try not to obsess about it- do things to distract yourself. I’d also suggest stopping his Facebook notifications from reaching your news feed until you guys get back onto better terms. I know it hurts seeing the happy stuff he posts! It was the best thing I did for my personal growth and ex recovery.

I’m personally about 3 weeks in to officially no contact and I feel much, much better. I’ve really come to terms with the fact that him cheating and being terrified of my kids are things that I don’t need in my life at all. He still pops into my head but the feelings aren’t loving or longing, they’re mostly a mix of regret for starting anything with him in the first place and knowing that he is going to regret his decisions later when he grows up past his game playing stage(I say this because of how he was adamant about loving me but being scared etc. If its true he’ll kick himself later). I have to see him next weekend at a get together mutual friends are having and I’m not even slightly tempted to talk to him, never mind trying to win him back! I don’t think his gf(the girl he cheated with) is going to be there so that’ll be nice. Fake smiles are not my thing and I know she’ll try to rub things in my face the first time I meet her. It might be better to just get it out of the way though… Kill them with kindness, be sickeningly sweet 😉 I don’t like games so if she starts it I’ll shut her down. I’m also still talking to the ex from a few years ago that popped back up wanting to see if things could start up between us again! He’s made some great changes in his life since we were last together and so have I. I’m making sure we move slow but I’m liking the idea of trying again more and more! I don’t want to start anything serious with him until I feel like I’ve put everything with the most recent ex to rest the way I need to.

Wow guys!!! I miss a few days and everyone seems to be dating on here!! Congrats 😀 You guys on here really helped me out when I was having a hard time, I’m glad you’re all doing better in your own ways.

I’ve personally reached a point where I can think about my ex and not feel much other than worry that his new gf is going to play games with him like she always does. I’ve also had an ex that I dated for a very long time suddenly show back up wanting to work things out!! He’s a wonderful man, I’m taking things slow and seeing where it can go.

You guys are great!! Thanks again to everyone for everything. I hope you all find your happiness 🙂

LA Thanks. I know it’s normal to be feeling this but I’ve been mostly positive overall lately and this just brought me back down into the same feelings and confusion that I had right after he left. I don’t know if this could really be considered a rebound since I’m pretty sure he cheated with her anyway but maybe… Sometimes I really wish these feelings would just stop so that I could get rest from it. Sleep isn’t happening for me right now so I think this might be a gaming night lol If you can’t fight someone in real life a computer screen is the next best thing! Hopefully it keeps me distracted because nothing is working right now. I appreciate the advice and support!

LA- congrats on having fun with your date and way to go seeing that picture and being ok!! You seem very positive and well adjusted. I hope things go well for you when you send your letter, GL!

marie- You have to try to stop checking his statuses. Stop notifications, block him, even take a break from social media if you have to! It will just bring you pain and stop your personal healing process. I had an insanely difficult time with this- I actually still do. It’ll be one of the best moves that you could make though!

Wesley- I’m sorry to hear that they’re dating someone now 🙁 I have the same situation going on here. It cuts at me everyday wondering about how and when and why. It’s made easier by the fact that he hasn’t tried to contact me at all yet and is respecting my need for space in this. Hold strong! You can do it and the pain does start to lessen as time goes by.

Steve- I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that I could be here months down the road still sad about things. It’s a hard thought to have, especially since I’m expecting this to be a permanent thing in my case. I try to keep in mind that I’ve done everything I can in the situation and that moving forward all I can control is what I do. Our thoughts and feelings are known and now it’s time to try to be happy for ourselves as much as possible. I have faith that we’ll both end up in better situations than we were in!

Athens- Being stuck at home would be really hard right now! I know my mind wonders whenever I can’t get out with the kids. What kind of books do you like?? I could suggest several but I’m not sure what you’re looking for. I’d suggest the Dresden Files as something interesting, they were very good!

Day 8 of my official NC though it’s been almost 2 months since the end with minimal contact. The excruciating pain of it is fading into a sad acceptance I think. It still feels like it follows me around like a cloud but I feel like I can function now. I’m not always down about it- there are times when I’m actually happy. My biggest problem that keeps me thinking about him is his new relationship. Wondering about him cheating when we were together and if he’s really happier with her spins through my head and starts to take me down a few times a day but it rarely completely does. Is it odd that I’m truly worried about him getting hurt in this new relationship? She has a horrible reputation… But I remind myself that he knows what he’s gotten into and has decided to still go forward with it. There’s nothing I can do or say to help him, I can only work on me.

Some good news! I’m going out on a date this weekend. 🙂 He’s a good friend. I’m really nervous but also very excited. Talking to him has always made me happier whenever I’ve been down about anything. Hopefully it goes well!

OMG you guys make me laugh so hard every time I log in! You’re all amazing! The retirement home sounds like it may end up having different wings for people as they come considering how popular this site is getting!
FestivalDavid- I’m so excited to hear about your euro trip! that would be an amazing thing to go and do, maybe one day for me.
sunshinegirl- I actually failed a big exam because my ex left me less than a week before it came up. I was a wreck, couldn’t study or think. I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better though! I’ve gotten to the same place with it. We deserve to keep our lives going forward in a positive direction!.
Joe- I had a seriously hard time not checking in on him as well… It’s insanely difficult but I’ve been very very good with it lately. The longer you stop yourself from doing it, the better you feel though! It’s worth it to keep that cut out.

Quinn- My story is kind of posted everywhere in stages. Long story short(well shorter than reading all my posts anyway), he told me he’s in love with me but is afraid of how he’d make himself commit to me going forward/afraid of my kids so he ended everything. He’s started dating a girl that tried to get between us when we were together. I’ve pretty much decided that permanent NC is probably the best for me in my situation- he has to work past being afraid of the kids on his own, I can’t stop him from over committing, and I can’t trust him now that it seems like suspicions that I had with this other girl were right. He wants to be friends but that will take a long while if ever for me. It makes complete logical sense to be done with all of it but the emotional part of everything is struggling to play catch up for me.

Getting help with those problems will be the best thing you could do for yourself, trust me! I’ve watched so many people turn their situation in life into something so much better because of getting the help they need. I hope for both of your sakes that he gets the help he needs as well but try not to worry about it (I know that’s easier said than done!). A healthy you will be better for everyone and he has to make the healing decisions on his own in the end. Concentrate on the better you for now.

Just wanted to say hi and sorry to hear bout your situation! My ex husband also had unaddressed mental health issues. Those are unbelievably hard to deal with and can easily rip apart a good relationship! The answer to getting over that one was time, supportive people, and reminding myself that I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to even help themselves. My current situation is hurting even more because it was sudden. I’m guessing time and concentrating on myself and my kids is what will get me through this one. Everyone here is amazingly supportive and that really helps as well! I’m not sure how I’d get through some of the days without being able to talk to the people on here!

Hey all,
I’m sitting here after my first week of NC and almost 2 months separated. I’m not sure what to say about how I feel. I seem to switch between feeling a few different things. A lot of the time I feel numb to everything, like what happened doesn’t hit me the same way that it did. Sometimes I feel the same hurt that I did at the very beginning. Sometimes it’s regret, wishing that I hadn’t allowed myself to get into the relationship at all. I’ve also started to sometimes feel ok with it ending! I still get frequent urges to contact him but then I think of how he’s with someone else and how she tried to disrupt things between us when we were together and the urge fades(slowly) away. I’ve also been very good with not looking for him on social media. Permanent NC hasn’t been easy.. when it’s bad it hurts in ways I feel like I can’t deal with! Thankfully I can already look back and see that forgiving him wouldn’t be healthy for me because of all of the broken trust. The rational part of my brain gets it, I’m hoping the heart won’t be slow to follow. Now it’s just sticking with that knowledge and not breaking NC. Time to really concentrate on improving myself for myself!