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Posts
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Your more than welcome 🙂
Yeah the answer is time and i was lucky i had Kevin,Dara,FestivalDavid,Rihanna,Raed,Daniel,Edward.. in my life.
It was tough but time changes everything.
And yeah,i understand when someone means more to you.actually i broke up with my ex for nothing and then i wanted him back,then he said he needed space and then Its been 6 months.he contacted me after the first month and we were in touch until august 3rd.we met after NC,then i had to go out of states for a long time.my story is kinda long and more confusing.you are gonna hate me when you find how much mind games i played on him.and then i realized that i love him but i don’t want him back cuz i couldn’t hurt myself anymore and his parents were against me so we couldn’t have a good future together and i don’t like that situation so i cut it off again and actually i’m really ok.but yeah,he was different and i still love him i never cared about someone more than i care about him.but that doesn’t hurt me anymore.I just did whatever i told you to do.and i made great friends here that helped me through my painful moments.that’s why i’m here most of the times. i really want to help people dealing with this kinda situations.
The craziest thing is that i knew what was the right thing to do to get him back and i had the best advices from kevin and my friends here,but i couldn’t let go of my ego and i couldn’t stop playing mind games.and i was scared.i kept ignoring him whenever he asked me out,cuz i was scared of getting hurt again and getting back to the first days of my post-break up.
I don’t really want others to make those mistakes.Hi Loraina. Yes, mental health issues can be ugly. My problem is anxiety, but I’m getting help with that. I’m not exactly sure what his problem is, but I know that he gets really angry at himself for various reasons, but he projects his anger on to me in a big way. He is very much aware that he does this, and always sincerely apologizes, but then he does it again. I guess it’s hard for me to understand it because when I am very angry, I internalize it instead of projecting it. (I realize that neither one of those things is better or healthy)
Did you post your story? In new here, but I have been coming here A LOT because it helps me tremendously.a.z. I could not hate you for the mind games. I do the mind games as well, and when they backfire (as they almost always do) I go bat shit crazy and act completely psychotic. That’s part of the reason I want to do NC that I was ashamed to admit before. I am extremely level headed and rational when it comes to everyone else but myself!! I know what to do that would be best. I have all the tools to make te best decisions. BUT, I let my emotions totally take over and I act so embarrassing.
Its ok,everything is really ok and normal,you will feel the change little by little.
Quinn- My story is kind of posted everywhere in stages. Long story short(well shorter than reading all my posts anyway), he told me he’s in love with me but is afraid of how he’d make himself commit to me going forward/afraid of my kids so he ended everything. He’s started dating a girl that tried to get between us when we were together. I’ve pretty much decided that permanent NC is probably the best for me in my situation- he has to work past being afraid of the kids on his own, I can’t stop him from over committing, and I can’t trust him now that it seems like suspicions that I had with this other girl were right. He wants to be friends but that will take a long while if ever for me. It makes complete logical sense to be done with all of it but the emotional part of everything is struggling to play catch up for me.
Getting help with those problems will be the best thing you could do for yourself, trust me! I’ve watched so many people turn their situation in life into something so much better because of getting the help they need. I hope for both of your sakes that he gets the help he needs as well but try not to worry about it (I know that’s easier said than done!). A healthy you will be better for everyone and he has to make the healing decisions on his own in the end. Concentrate on the better you for now.
Thanks Loraina. I truly appreciate all the support here.
I’m having a really rough time today.Hey,
I kept posting something here but i don’t know why i can’t find it.
I was saying write your feelings down.emotions relate to the left side of the brain,writing order is from the right side and when you write your feelings,your focusing on writing so it reduces the pain.You can talk to us whenever you want,i would be really glad if i can do something to make you feel better.
Thanks a.z! I knew you would reply. You’re so helpful and kind. I am the same way. (Something my ex took advantage of)
I actually did do the writing thing earlier. It helped a bit. I go from being angry, very angry, to feeling really sad, to feeling okay. I do stay busy, but it’s hard to stay busy constantly. This is my third day NC, and it’s harder than the past two days.He called me last night at 1:30am. Obviously he was drunk. He also called a few minutes ago. I have him blocked, but I have an iphone and I can still see when he attempts to call but not texts.
This makes me feel better, which is terrible because I feel like I am playing games. It seems that it is always a power struggle with me and I always want to have the upper hand. In the past when I have “given in” it just always ends with too much emotion from both of us and each one of us trying to hurt the other. I need to get to that point where I am not “crazy” like this, and I know from past experiences that it takes me a lot of time to get to that point.And I am willing to bet the text messages he is attempting to send, that I am not getting, are super sweet, then super mean, then apologizing for being mean, then angry again and baiting for a reply. It’s all so predictable.
Yeah,i know what exactly your talking about.its like an hormonal imbalance.you start to remember the negative facts about your ex then you get angry,then you feel like you hate him,then you tell yourself that maybe it was also your fault,then you wish you could change it from the beginning,then you remind yourself of the good times you had and the positive parts of your ex and your relationship and that’s when you feel sad.and this seems like its circulating forever.
But its not.i know its hard but try to do a physical activity.it may sound stupid but if you can’t go out,do it at your place.physical activities balance these kinda hormones and it really makes you feel better.
Whenever negative thoughts come to your mind,tell yourself that this isn’t permanent and you decided to this for your own good,and you can change everything later if you want.trust yourself and you can do magic.You really are just like me 😀
I was the one who always had the upper hand and when he finally told me he needed space,i was like,what???is he rejecting ME???? and that was wrong.
And after that,whenever he tried to contact me,or sent those sweet msgs,it was like a relaxing pill to me.and then again i used to feel like i got the power and there were 2 reactions from me.either rejecting him with my actions,or rejecting him with my words.and then it was all like you predicted.and its actually good that you can predict it so you can change it.
I’m sure you are really strong and you can make it/i was lucky my ex never contacted me during NC cuz i could never resist it.
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