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I agree with Pat here…please please just don’t contact her for now because it will ruin what chance you have left. As you said she might have said not to contact her to give her time to have a long think. You really need to show you are a calm, collected confident individual, completely different from how you were when she makes contact again which will be a little while.
Hold in there. Just don’t annoy her with any form of contact.
Hey, this is tricky. What was the last thing you said to her? I wouldn’t carry on ignoring her but keep her at a bit of distance. Say to her you just want her to be good…and I’m not leaving you, I’m just trying to listen to you.
It’s hard to word but don’t carry on ignoring her, try and make hrr laugh and reassure her, just try not to talk about the past. I know it’s difficult… I’m stuck in 10 days no contact initiated by her… funny thing is most people on here have more of a chance than me 🤣
And I agree with Patricia, you can’t make it about you, unfortunately it is all about them… might seem a little extreme but that is just from experience
Big error unfortunately, you shouldn’t have been writing a message at all. The closest thing you should have written was what Patricia said but even then, no contact right now was so important
DR, you’re already doing the right thing. She wants to stay in contact, this where you do what you’re doing and don’t be pushy, just let it flow. You know what you’re doing. You’re in a much better position than nost people, at least she hasn’t said I don’t want to talk to you anymore so I can get over you.
Well it has been a month of no contact so this is tricky. I would say don’t contact and maybe reduce what you post on facebook, she might find that strange. Do not text her asking how she is, I know she likes kindness but this will not help at this stage.
Do you know a core reason why she broke up with you? Was it because you weren’t showing her enough attention? Or were there other reasons. I wouldn’t worry about contacting her, when the nightmare ends you will see her in work and you need to be confident and show you’re okay, that is when you ask how she has been. Do not discuss the relationship. Try and show her that you are kind and caring at work without being obvious or direct, if you understand what I mean.
Right, this is a difficult one. Luckily I can relate because I’m going through almost the exact same thing. Quarantine has turned our girls cold 😂.
She is a tricky one. Personally I think the hand written note was a mistake, and I’m not sure she will reply. As you know and have found out as soon as you start opening up and supporting them too much, they turn off. I don’t understand why either. How far are you into no contact? I’m 7 days in. You gotta make sure you arent posting much on facebook especially not relating to the break up. If you do get to the stage of seeing her again, dont mention the past and don’t ask where it’s going like before, they don’t seem to respond well to that.
It’s a shame about the letter because if you weren’t far into no contact then they was a bit killer but we will just have to roll with that for now
Right, I’m in the same position, I’m waiting for this lockdown to end to decide what will happen. If you work in the same company and you’re going to see her every day at work after this nightmare, then don’t message her now, don’t do anything. Sometimes these things take longer than a month. Do NOT post a picture that gives away what you’re feeling. Don’t give away how you’re feeling to her, you want her in mystery.
Do you normally post stuff on facebook? Do NOT post anything related to love or relationships you don’t want her to see this it will remind her why she broke up, you cannot look weak to her.
your situation is very difficult, I’m surprised she hasn’t spoken to you in a month, she is playing a difficult game.
When you go back to work be friendly and happy around her, don’t ever mention the past
It doesn’t change anything no, it didn’t help…but it’s really hard not to, I’ve been through the same. I don’t know how invested she is in you? So she just wants to be friends or be friends and see how that goes? You could try breaking the no contact…and be a friend but like a cool casual friend dont bring up the relationship or anything in the past. Do you think she will contact you if you carry on no contact for now? only you know what she is like
Hi Assassin, sorry to hear it hasn’t gone to plan. So you haven’t spoke in a month so far, but she is still open to coffees and walks? Maybe see if she reaches out to you to meet up? give it maximum another 2 weeks as Patricia said then contact her about it. As you say she knows you’re a good guy but there’s a reason she broke it off, you need to figure out if that reason can be changed. This one is a tough one wkth regards to no contact.
Just read this post after commenting on the old one. I’m so glad it worked out, I honestly didn’t think it would but tried to fight your corner anyway, good on you for proving me wrong!
Hi Quin, I don’t agree with patricia. This boy does not sound like a “controller”, he is just young, as are you. Is he dating someone else? Do you leave close by to him? How long since you last spoke to him?
If you like him and he is reaching out to you then you need to break no contact. Don’t only talk to him if it’s to do with a relationship that will scare him off. Just try to remember why you like each other, remember you have more experience than him, he has some catching up.
If you want it to stand the test of time you’re gonna have to get in a position where it’s not constant negative talk about a relationship, that will push him closer to this girl.
Yeah I understand that. It’s just annoying that we still have to exchange stuff…cos she said “it’s not really over until we do” implying all this no contact I’m doing now is useless because we still have to meet to exchange. THEN no contact begins AGAIN. She did even say she doesn’t care about exchanging stuff because we have nothing valuable of each others really.
As long as you’re sure you’re going back for that reason then I say go for it. Just play cool, obviously show some emotion.
