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– a relationship of 3 years, all 3 years lived together
– went to another country for a better future
– always talked about the future, marriage, children, wedding, etc.
– I’d be able to relax more than once and not give her attention and passion to the relationship because I really believed she was the one
– She was freaking out about it and saying all the time that she misses it.
– after that, I’d get better, but like I said, I believed she was the one, and i’d relax again after a while.
– she broke up because she’s afraid I’m going to stay like that way in the marriage.
– I’ve always been there for her and she knows I’m a very good guy, and she said that herself and that maybe she’ll regret it one day because of that decision.
– she don’t say anything bad about me to other people because she knows I’ve been very good, she say all good about me
– in the last conversation, she said that she still loves me, that she misses me and that she misses all our things and that she has to think about herself right now and that she wants to be a friend and that I can always call her for coffee or a walk
– now we live separately and there has been no contact for a month except congratulations for birthday and Easter
– the current situation is very difficult for me, I wonder if she’s thinking about me and if she might want to reconnect and she doesn’t know how because I told her that once I break up, I don’t want to go back.
– I am 30 years old, she 25When she broke up, we still lived together for a half month and traveled together to work, i was sleeping on the couch, after that half month i moved in another house, and the no contact rule started from the 28.3, the 5.4 i texted her just happy birthday she responded by thanks, and after that she texted me happy easter, i responded as well you too, thats it, whats the next step?
@AssassinK Women always want love and passion. All through a relationship, it should be there..
Sounds like you two are getting along okay, but give her some space for a couple of weeks. Then contact her and talk about meeting up for coffee or a walk. Let her know you’re willing to make amends to try and reconcile. Show more interest and affection.
Thank you very much for the response, i waited 5 days to approve my thread from admin, i see you have a lot of experience Patricia and you helping a lot here for other people as well, for how long should i wait because i read about the NC rule?
Hi Assassin, sorry to hear it hasn’t gone to plan. So you haven’t spoke in a month so far, but she is still open to coffees and walks? Maybe see if she reaches out to you to meet up? give it maximum another 2 weeks as Patricia said then contact her about it. As you say she knows you’re a good guy but there’s a reason she broke it off, you need to figure out if that reason can be changed. This one is a tough one wkth regards to no contact.
@Jackzzv121 not a full month, from 28.3., only 5.4. birthday and easter on 12.4. texted each other, does it mean i need to wait these 2 weeks or more? She said that on the break up that she wanna be friends and is open to coffees and walk.
I forgot to said that, i cried a lot and bla bla when she broke up, does that change something?It doesn’t change anything no, it didn’t help…but it’s really hard not to, I’ve been through the same. I don’t know how invested she is in you? So she just wants to be friends or be friends and see how that goes? You could try breaking the no contact…and be a friend but like a cool casual friend dont bring up the relationship or anything in the past. Do you think she will contact you if you carry on no contact for now? only you know what she is like
Oh man its hard to know that, she is sometimes a closed person, dont wanna show the feelings or talk to other persons, sometimes she is very strong in her head, but she have the limits, if she regret this maybe she will contact me, but i dont know really, what if i wait to the 5.5. if the lockdown for the Covid-19 stops, i will need to go to my work, and the thing is she works in my company so i can see there how she react when she see me? Or maybe i can ask her direct there for a coffee or a walk?
I apologize for my english
@patricia12 maybe you have an idea?Another question, we are still friends on social media, should i post sometime a picture from me like i moved on or i am good or bla bla, or no post till i text/ask her?
Right, I’m in the same position, I’m waiting for this lockdown to end to decide what will happen. If you work in the same company and you’re going to see her every day at work after this nightmare, then don’t message her now, don’t do anything. Sometimes these things take longer than a month. Do NOT post a picture that gives away what you’re feeling. Don’t give away how you’re feeling to her, you want her in mystery.
Do you normally post stuff on facebook? Do NOT post anything related to love or relationships you don’t want her to see this it will remind her why she broke up, you cannot look weak to her.
your situation is very difficult, I’m surprised she hasn’t spoken to you in a month, she is playing a difficult game.
When you go back to work be friendly and happy around her, don’t ever mention the past
Haha, you are funny, but in the positive way, so no contact till the nightmare ends (if it happens), some people said maybe its good to text her like “how are you, i hope you doing well in this nightmare (covid)”, because its like kind, and she love kindless, now i dont know if its better to text her or no, but i am thinking if i text her that, she will love that but in the friendzone way, but in the opposite way i didnt gave her too much attention in relationship, and if i text her, thats something like attention, what do you think?
I dont post sad things, only picture of myself for example like drinking beer in garden because its lockdown
I wanna say a big thanks for you guys for helping me, really, i appreciate that
So,text her or no?
Continue posting stuff or no?
I know that i need to be happy and friendly arround her, i need to win her heart againWell it has been a month of no contact so this is tricky. I would say don’t contact and maybe reduce what you post on facebook, she might find that strange. Do not text her asking how she is, I know she likes kindness but this will not help at this stage.
Do you know a core reason why she broke up with you? Was it because you weren’t showing her enough attention? Or were there other reasons. I wouldn’t worry about contacting her, when the nightmare ends you will see her in work and you need to be confident and show you’re okay, that is when you ask how she has been. Do not discuss the relationship. Try and show her that you are kind and caring at work without being obvious or direct, if you understand what I mean.
@AssassinK I agree with Jackzzv about not posting too much on social media and his idea to be happy and friendly at work!
However, since she wanted you to show attention/passion during the relationship and you didn’t, she broke up with you. I suggest you contact her in a few days to ask how she’s doing as it will show caring and concern for her well being! During the COVID-19 lock down, it’s not wise to meet-up. But when you contact her simply say that you would enjoy going for coffee or a walk when the lock down is lifted..
Three years together was a long time and I’m sure she still has feelings for you, but she was very disappointed and hurt that you seemed to loose affection for her.
@Jackzzv121 its not a month ago from the last contact, like i said it was 5.4.and 12.4. on Easter, so basically its lower then month
I will stop then to post on facebook stuff
The core reason is not giving too much attention/passion, thats what she said and she is scared i will be like that in the marriage
@patricia12 i am really sorry for asking again, i am little confused now, i just dont wanna make a mess about the situation, i just wanna make sure
Should i ask her how is she been or for a coffee/walk? (Straight the first messege)
Because Jackzzv121 said if i ask her how is she been will not help at this stage@AssassinK You sent her Happy Birthday on April 5 and she sent thank you. She sent Happy Easter on April 12. So it seems you’re on good terms..
She is the one who mentioned you can always call her for coffee or a walk.
Because she wanted your attention/passion during the relationship and you did not show it, she broke up with you.
Texting to ask how she’s doing shows her attention, which she wants! Don’t ask to meet for coffee or a walk. Just say you would enjoy going for coffee or a walk after the lock down is lifted.
Showing concern for her will not hurt at this stage. Of course you’re concerned and care about her and I’m sure she will appreciate your interest..
@patricia12
Nice explained, what do you think, when can i text her, should i wait more or?
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