patrick d

I don’t think anything is going on with him. That’s my honest opinion. But I really believe that he wants that. And perhaps she knows that.

If she kissed someone before then that’s not good of course for your jealousy. And the fact she is going away will play on her mind a lot.

I’d say just don’t be desperate at all. Ask her nothing. Tell her nothing. Be a mystery.

She has changed dramatically and I don’t know why. But she is listening to him and others too much and I bet that’s the problem.

Let her go a little bit. She is messing you about at this stage.

Same as mine. No change whatsoever. She promised that soon we would be together but not yet. She spoke of kids and going on holiday. We spoke about going to Vietnam in the summer. And now guess what. She said she doesn’t want to travel with me but with study guy. Almost planned. That hurt a lot.

Her nephew came to football with me today. He is 18. I asked about study guy. He said that it seems pretty obvious to everyone bar her that he wants her. But women are naive. He has planned these seeds of doubt in her mind. the fucker. He doesn’t even know me but she told me that he didn’t like me and keeps mentioning my drink problems and maybe they will return.

Bastard. Very similar situation. that was the fight yesterday. I still slept there. She is sick so I cooked. Calling again now because I have nowhere else to go.
But I’m planning on giving her a major wake up shock very soon.
Not sure what yet. But she will have to make a choice then.

She holds the cards now and the control. But I will soon

*Send it but take out a few lines

Here is something I’m really thinking of right now as I walk in the rain.

When she was doing crap I didn’t like and when she wouldn’t stop, one of my best mates told me something.
He’s a great lad, highly intelligent, several successful businesses. But a country lad and we always took his advice with a pinch of salt because he is rough and loud.

He told me ages ago that the most powerful thicana man can do is to be prepared to walk away and mean it.
Life shouldn’t be tough and if someone makes it tough then they aren’t worth it. Make them see that you’re a man and that they need you. Not the other way around.

I’m tired of waiting Charlie. Tired of tip toeing. I’m prepared to walk now. her loss. Not mine.

Do the same.
P.s. I sent my email address to the administration here to send to you

*beware of that friend

Hi Charlie. I’m here. Sorry I deserted you. Still have nowhere to live and flat out looking for a place and trying to run the football club etc. Just meeting a friend here now but I’ll write a good long essay back in the morning. I promise

Hi Charlie,

Did you meet her this week? Or are you going to meet her? You will of course get anxious thoughts. Happens me every day. It’s the uncertainty. As for her watching those talks, I think you are right. She is looking for the right path through all this and is confused. You should set Dates from now on. Maybe say to her ok we’ll meet saturday and sunday and so on. Take the decision making away. See if she likes that any better.

I am still in the same place. She Needs time etc. Although when we are together we get fairly Close. I slept there again last night and we cuddled and so on all night. Few kisses on the cheek goodbye.
I caught her hiding her phone and texting a few times yesterday. She used to drive me crazy doing that so i told her it annoyed me. She got angry for a few minutes and then apologised. But in the angry time she said she can text who she wants and can have a thousand boyfriends if she wants. Think she regretted that afterwards. I remained calm throughout.

She had a Point i suppose. It is None of my Business but I hope she realises that to move Forward she will have to stop that nonsense. She said that she was texting nothing to do with me or to worry me. Which begs the question then; why hide?
I guess she was either talking about me to someone or talking to another guy.
She did go and meet some guy and his mates back a week ago. He is new on the Scene. She got chatting to him in a bar. She said that she has no interest in him whatsoever and if i saw him i would see that. She got angry that i found it strange and said i was stopping her making friends. I told her that 90% of the time the guy wants something. Simple as that.

Anyway, if she does start dating someone else then I have the strength now to walk away. And I would do that. And I think she knows that. After I complained yesterday she was very clingy afterwards and apologised etc.

You asked about planning every move. I don’t do that anymore. I just let it flow. Although I will plan to get her to know how much the phone thing stills annoys me. Plus she knows that I had thoughts of leaving. Just small thoughts about moving to another Country. But that scared her.

Hello Charlie.

Are you meeting her tomorrow? As I said before, try not to read too much into her actions. I know it is extremely frustrating but she must be still all over the place.

If she didn’t want to be with you she wouldn’t have dreamed of kissing you. She just may not be ready yet to start fully again. Are you ready?

On my side, I mentored to her on Wednesday night that I was thinking that day of moving away. Canada maybe. I doubt I would but it was a thought so I told her. She said she wild like me to stay. Thanks I said, but I can’t base my life around us being friends and hanging out with you.
Yesterday morning I left hers and went to work. She was busy that day she said. “Private stuff”. I think that means hanging out with our old circle of friends.
We didn’t text a word until today. She started a chat with that she shouldn’t have told me not to go. I of course thought Oh crap. Where is this going. There was a pause.
She went on to say that wants to be with me. She just isn’t ready yet for a relationship as she hasn’t gotten over all my crap with the drinking. She says she really believes that I’ve changed this time but just needs a bit more time. She said that when I’m not with her now she feels lost and lovely. She feels like we are soul mates and everything feels right when we are together.
She said that’s it’s not fair for her to tell me not to go anywhere but that she feels physically sick at the thoughts of it. She said the thoughts of losing me forever (which it would be she says) frighten her so much. But she understands that I have to do what I want to do. But she just wanted to let me know that.
She doesn’t want me thinking that she is not starting anything with me because she is waiting on someone better or anything like that, because I’m the one for her. But she needs more time to be prepared and to not be afraid of the same happening again.
For my part I told her that I knew that she Was still hurting. And that I am not on the look out for anyone new. I said that I liked being with her but that evenings apart with friends were healthy for us (I surprised myself saying that. 6 months ago I lived in her pocket).
I told her I had feelings for her too and being honest I agreed that jumping back in might not be the greatest idea.

I did leave her thinking though by saying that if I left it wouldn’t be until summer. I suppose that was kind of my way of telling her to make her mind up by then.

Anyway, fairly big statements from her I think. Not much chat after that. A few texts. But she did say that she misses me.

And to think that yesterday I was in Bad humour wondering why she wasn’t texting.

You see Charlie, don’t come to conclusions Because you can be sure that we’ll come to the wrong conclusions. That girl of yours is more than likely thinking the very same way. I wouldn’t suggest you saying that you were going to leave. It just suited for me because I could do that no problem in the morning. (We irish abroad are like nomads).

Let me know how it goes