patrick d

Hi.

You’ll have tones like that Charlie. It’s only emotions and memories and things.

She told you she misses you. You know deep down and have known that she wants you back.
What’s happening now is just time suddenly catching up. I actually find it good what you are going through. You will wonder what I’m talking about now, but in a day or two all will become clear.

It’s your mind clearing up. It’s you getting clarity. You spoke often about how different you felt and how much you have changed and so on. But that all takes time. When you think you have moved on a step you then have something happen that makes you feel like you have slipped back again. A seemingly never ending torturous roller coaster of emotions that saps your energy and leaves you mentally drained. Will it all ever end? Will i ever get her back? Or worse, will i never get her back? How would life ever feel right without her? How can she put me through this? Why am i waiting for her? Why do i have this hope that someday all will be great again; not just great but even better? Why can i not just let go?

And then a day comes like today when you feel like you have collapsed right back to the start. The feeling you had that you had moved on now seems like it was built on pillars of sand. The whole thing has collapsed. “I’ll never recover”.

But what happened you there is important. I went through that a few weeks ago. But she has told you things that have started to break down barriers in the back of your mind. Or more accurate, your mind is starting to lose its control over you. Finally reality is hitting. You have all these lost weeks and months. You are blaming yourself for that lost time. But, you are a fighter. You didn’t give up. You held out. You put yourself through hell and those feelings that you have are not in fact you thinking that all is lost. Those feelings are like locks being unlocked, or Domino’s falling in your mind. One by one they fall. And the feeling comes rushing forward. You don’t understand it at first. You think negatively because you have been thinking negatively for months. Your mind is playing one last trick. Telling you to give up. One last test for you Charlie.

But those feelings are relief. Don’t be fooled by your mind. That is relief. That is reality coming. Don’t mess up now. The relief that you are almost there. You know it but just can’t see it or accept that yet. But you will. It’s almost done. It’s nearly over. Everybody bursts into tears with relief in the movies. It’s a powerful emotion. And in our case easy to confuse with the old feelings of all being lost.

You still have work to do. But now you finally should do it and can do it.

She misses you. She loves you. She wants to be with you. She just wants a bit of time now to sort her own head out. Look how long you have taken and you’re not fully there.

Good work Charlie. Well done.
Now don’t mention the relationship again. You don’t need to. It’s just now time to start being friends and flirting and meeting up and enjoying each other. Time to start a new life together.

P.s. i see my ex every day (Almost). Hugs are getting longer. We held hands a bit tonight whilst lying on (clothed) her bed. She wants to go away with me for a weekend. I’ll do that. I take nothing for granted Though. Still working. She has been slowly filling me in on her life since we split. Some friends did things that she won’t say yet but her life has been a roller coaster. She said it was ok with that other guy for a bit but that died. Some friends didn’t like that she did that. Her mother was dead against it. He sisters just wanted her to be happy. But i sensed that she was struggling with life. But i couldn’t help until i felt that i really Could.
She feels safe again. Secure. I’ve changed so much she says. Tonight she says that in all the days we’ve met she hasn’t seen any of the old bad me coming out. That felt good. I almost forget the old me. Photos are hard to look at. They sometimes leave me with a lump in my throat. But time will help. She said tonight that she really believes now that that person is gone.

She said that she was thinking over the past few days about how unbelievably hard it all must have been For me. She said it really made her wonder if she knows anybody that would have coped. I lost her, i had to recover from alcoholism, i had to get over bad depression, i had been jobless and homeless (living on sofas). I moved back to a city where i had few friends and no family. She had a new man. My best mate died.

But there i was. A new man. Stronger than ever before. i not only survived. I came through the other end so much better. I felt like everything had flipped. I may now be the Rock that will support her.

We are fighters Charlie. We are survivers. The relief can be overwhelming.
But the rewards will be fantastic. And we will win

I agree with the weinen being in a better mental state.
Men are frighteningly still cavemen when it gets down to it. we probably should still be fighting with each other to win the female.
I don’t understand them at all. Ha.

She text there at 2 in the morning. Saying to enjoy my night. But I’m guessing that she was in a bar all evening that had no Internet connection and it only delivered now.

I tried a surprise the other day. She didn’t like it. Wasn’t prepared. I mentioned that i might go away. She answered with “but i can’t I’m working and my sister is due to give birth then”. That was some answer considering i didn’t ask her to come. She says things like that quite often now. Yesterday she spoke about getting out of the city and working in the country when she qualifies in 7-8 years. without me saying anything she said to me; “you’ll have to move out there too of course”. I just answered with; “i came from the country and I’ll go back to it”. I said i wanted horses. I never had horses but i know she loves them.
A problem with our relationship used to be this issue. I like the city but if i could choose somewhere to settle down with her it would be in the country. She was the opposite. How could she leave her home City etc? I used to say i left my country never mind just a city.
But now she has changed. Not sure exactly why. Just thinking now as i write whether she just said that to please me? Possible.
I was there again last night. She had a glass or 2 of wine and was really friendly and touched me when she could for no reason and stared at me with a smile when she could.

I’ll keep on doing my thing. We haven’t text in 8 hours now which is a long time recently. I purposefully didn’t text yesterday for some time just to see. When she did text she wanted me over.

I don’t think that will happen today. She said that she hasn’t seen her friends in so long and wants to catch up as they are drifting a bit. That’s understandable. And she probably hasn’t told them that i am over at hers so often. she will think that they will think that she is a slut.

Anyway. That’s the latest. Do you follow horse racing Charlie? I don’t normally but Cheltenham is great.

Any more word from your lady? I’ve a good feeling about her. And from the way she is talking now it sounds positive.
I’ve been saying it about the distance thing for a while to you. You won’t get back together properly if she is in the big smoke and you are back in Hobbiton. Something has to give. Wrap a clean shirt and a few pairs of jocks up in a cloth, tie it up on the end of a stick, throw it over your shoulder and head for London.

Hi Charlie,

so I called to her on the way back from the Airport. We had a nice evening. Still not getting Close to anything intimate. My guess is that she is taking things slowly. My biggest fear is that i am friend zoned. She was Meeting her sister yesterday and i am busy tonight and tomorrow, so we get a bit of a break. Hopefully she will miss me. She text last night asking that whenever i am free next she wants to bring me for Food.

So that’s the latest from me.

That sounds positive on your end. Keep working on her. Be cool. Never mention the bad things ín the relationship. That is all gone. She has to see the new you.
She must miss you. Move to London Charlie. Check out Jobs.

No distance then.

It’s a tough one to call Charlie. I won’t lie about that.

Something still bugs me though. The cats, no proper ending. I don’t think this is what she wanted.

Send that message maybe. If she wants nothing more then so be it. Goodbye

I think the clincher is to really be happy. Don’t pretend anymore.

I know this sounds impossible, but as soon as I started thinking like that it changed. I was thinking that I would have a good life. I will find somebody in time. I will do well for myself. And all the strange stuff from my ex is clearly the actions of a confused person. She made her decision. And by God she will stick by it.

So I stopped taking advice. Stopped bothering myself as much. Kissed drama girl. Didn’t feel anything after but managed to get her head over heels about me. Life moves on. And so must we.

And then suddenly things started happening.

I don’t know how much you’ve read about the laws of attraction. But they say that to get something you have to let go of it first. Believe that it will happen or sort of already has in the sense that the future is coming with that in it. But for now live life to the full.

This sounds hard. You don’t want to let go. She is a drug. Even a text gets you excited again. But she knows deep down that you haven’t let go.

That’s my thoughts. She can feel that you would come running straight away. You 2 had a true connection. So if you feel things about her. Then she feels things about you. Stands to reason. I’m telling you. When you start to let go then life will change so much and so quickly.

Remember Facebook. Do something this weekend. Drop a hint too about the holiday In a post.

Start to be wiser. Cuteness is needed. She had been ahead of you every step of the way.

Now you can use some subtle mind games. Not nice but they work. Don’t contact her. You know she will see the posts.
She might think back to this weekend now and her not going to meet you. She might think that was the moment that you gave up.

But strangely, by doing these t things you will move on in a way. You won’t forget her. But you will open your eyes a bit and see the world.

My ex just text. She feel asleep as I was leaving earlier. Thanks she text twice. She is sick. I cooked. Progress but I’m not getting carried away. I’m thinking of other things.

2 months isn’t that long. Really isn’t. We are split up a long time. I don’t even know how long. I think over 3 months. Could be 5. Could be almost a year long back realistically.

How on earth she still talks to me I don’t know.

So there is always a chance Charlie. Get your head straight. Realise that life will go on

Here is an awful awful thing to say. But what if she died tomorrow. You would continue to live. You can live now knowing that she is alive. That’s a bonus. And so long as you both live you will have hope. She has feelings For you. I think she would like to go back and start again.

That’s were you have to realise that whatever you had is in the past. Done. Over finished. Cherish the memories but don’t let the past dictate what you do now. Look ahead. walk on. The future is coming. Don’t let it pass you by.

That feeling you have is the future whispering a secret to You. That you will be back together. But not today and not tomorrow.

Whatever she does between now and then is her business. Her life and her choice. Ditto for you. So start living. You know deep down it will happen. But it will not happen until you let go fully. That is what is blocking everything.

Let go Charlie. Start living for you. And then everything will fall into place like magic

Don’t text anything stupid ChaRlie.

If I remember right, this wasn’t set in stone. Just an idea from 2 weeks ago. So she didn’t really do anything wrong. You just built up hope that she would come. That’s the problem with weekends. Always something else on.

I meet my ex on midweek days.