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I broke nc again. Yesterday, I saw my ex before my last ex and made me feel a bit nostalgic. I sent him a couple of funny pictures, and he responded. I didn’t say anything besides sending those pictures, but still I didn’t get the response I expected. He didn’t ask how I was or anything. Just said they were funny. I left it at that. Whatever! Maybe I needed to be reminded not to over romanticize what we had and get a reality check.
I’m still good and emotionally intact, thankfully.
But yes, we have our whole lives ahead of us! Uncertainty is not such a bad thing because all your options are open!
I think it would be helpful for me to move on if I knew that there was not a chance of us getting back together…But I won’t reach out to him to find out, EVER again.
I am trying to love this new guy, but I find myself being short and impatient sometimes. In a way I feel like he is where I was with my ex. I’m very honest with him and try to keep him at a distance but it’s wonderful having him in life even though I feel like there’s not enough to last a lifetime.
I still thinking about my ex, more and more lately. There hasn’t been any contact since the last time and I plan to never break the silence.
I’ve been doing crossfit and planning my life and the future. I am living for myself and not for anyone else. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but I do know that my heart is still fragile and I’m not able to give it away to anyone yet.
Hi SM, I’ve been thinking about writing to you but was a bit easy. I know what you mean about still being in love with your ex. I feel like I sorta am too. It sucks because I met this guy who really likes me and wants to give me the world but I haven’t been able to accept his love. I’m keeping him at a distance because I’m still not over my ex…I wish I could just forget about him forever. I find myself comparing…and it doesn’t compare. Why is it that I’m still in love with this asshole ex and not able to accept the love of a man who would marry me tomorrow if I asked him to? I feel like we are such masochists for loving people who doesn’t love us.
Anyway, knowing that you don’t want him back is the first step of healing. Start your healing now my dear.
I’m subscribed to your thread anytime you need to write.
Hi SM, I’m so glad to hear that you are doing sooo much better! And thank you for your kind and encouraging words. Isn’t it so empowering to have that control back over your emotions?! I was angry and hurt, but I think I almost don’t care anymore. I also know that I have no urge to ever contact him if he doesn’t reach out. Even if he does, I don’t want him back anymore either. I know that people get back together and get married, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get back together. There’s a reason he’s an ex and when I really think about it, I don’t think he would have given me the life I would have wanted. But you only realize that in hindsight.
I am dating this new guy who is really sweet and really into me. I don’t think I’m quite ready for him but he’s pretty convincing! So we’ll see what happens! I know that he’s the kind of guy I should be with instead of the assholes I’m used to dating. Let’s see how things go!
Thanks again for checking!
He always responded when I contacted him. He was the first person to break nc the first time. But yeah, I should just do nc forever until he contacts me. I know what his response would be…he’ll talk to me, but I know he won’t be ready to give us another shot. So, no point in breaking nc.
I still feel angry sometimes. But I guess that’s to be expected.
I’m going on a date tomorrow that I’m kind of excited about…Hope it goes well.
Thanks bguarino.
NC Day 28,
I’ve almost passed a month. I feel very strong, I don’t know if I’ve made a lot of changes, some but not a lot. I liked myself the way I was so, I didn’t feel like I needed to change. I have started doing crossfit since the breakup, but can’t see a lot of changes yet. But I am not overweight or anything like that. Just dont see the abs yet!
I’ve been missing him more and more…I don’t know if I want to break nc. What would I say? I dont want another emotional breakdown. Thoughts?
I am heart broken for you. Just believe that there’s something better for you out there. I know we are older, but I would rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship where I was worried if he loved me enough or not, which in our case, they didn’t.
SM,
You know that I am on the same boat as you. It’s in a way a determinant factor that helps us move on when you know it was something you couldn’t help. I think my ex also didn’t love me enough or care about me enough, which is why he broke up with me. He didn’t say those words to me, but if we had a mutual friend, I’m sure he would tell me the same thing.
Take this as the point where you finally move on and try to find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Fuck that guy! Fuck my ex! They don’t deserve us, we deserve someone who loves us like we loved our ex.
I want you to get your shit together and really move on this time. It’s final now, this is your closure. No more waiting…hoping…
I’m here for you. Trust me, eventually, if you really want to move on, you can and you will. But you have to want it.
Xoxo
I removed him from my Facebook because I felt like I was being influenced by him regarding what I was posting and not posting.
I don’t think this is a breakup for you guys. If you are patient and are ok with little communication with him, then there might still be hope. But you need to take control of yourself and only communicate when he does if you are ok with that.
