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hi travelbug,
why are you so neagtive if he is talking to the other girls on website. it doesnt mean . we all boys are jerks we want to have some parcially fun time talking to other girls . it a big heart breaking when you see you partner like other person. it is long running realtionship keep hope you will be succeffull.. we are human we make mistakes don’t get argue for it. he is just dating on website did he went with them.
NC Day 16:
Feeling a little down today. I have given up hope a long time ago, but I wish he would have contacted me so I could ignore him and feel like I have the power. He still has the post breakup power since we last talked. I know he’s not contacting me to let me heal from the hurt he caused me, but I was hoping that he would wake up and realize that he’s giving up on something really special and chase me down.
He’s not chasing me down. Tomorrow is his birthday, maybe that’s why I’m thinking about him so much.
NC Day#20:
I think Kevin was right about missing your ex the most at around 21 days. I am thinking about him and missing him more and more…
Hang in there, Travel Bug. Be strong and positive. You’ve helped me so much with all you’ve written, and I’ve tried to follow your advice. It is hard, but you will get through this. Keep going. Dont break NC. Don’t feel alone. We’re all in this together. Hugs.
Thanks SM! You have a kind and gentle soul, it comes through when you write. I appreciate your words of encouragement.
I am not going to break NC. I don’t want to open that wound anymore. I’ve bandaged it up and am getting better everyday. My life is almost back to normal now.
Thanks bguarino! You’ve done so well!
Hugs to all of you!
@TravelBug I wish you all the best for your NC. I am glad that your life is back to normal. I want to be brave like you one day.
My story is pretty similar to yours actually. We used to live in the same city, but he has a new job, a busier&crazier job, in another city currently for a year till April 2015. We’ve been together for 11 months and known each other for almost 2 years (LDR for 6-7months). His priority last couple months is only his job and doctor friends. He is an ER doctor with 36/48 hr shift. I complaint a lot as I don’t receive enough attention and pressure him to the point that he said “he goes through mental breakdown. If I don’t give him space, he will leave forever.” (This is the person who constantly tells me that we are soulmate for every months until around July 2014.) He said “he is unsure about having me as a girlfriend as he said he is too young to take care of me and he doesn’t want his limitation to hurt me. Also, he said he is very confused about everything and his motivation to treat me as a girlfriend has been decreased.” I tried to persuade him all the thing he used to tell me that it is only 6 months away then we will be together again. I said I will give him alone time. He agreed with it. After that we exchanged some light conversation towards the end of the call.
Surprisingly, next morning I received his text and we sent it back and forth for another 5 days. He then called me 2 days later after the last text. He called me again on Nov 6 which is 3 days later (There is no text in between these 2 calls.). I wrote him a letter last week so that I would feel like we are on the same page. The summary of my letter; he could take time off as long as he wants and I will be thinking about our good memories until he can make up his mind. He already received it last friday Nov 14 and he said he likes the msg I wrote and he will think about it. I really hope he only needs space not a break up since this is the first time that we barely talk to each other. I feel like he is getting more distant. I don’t know whether I should move on or wait for him.
It is funny that some of my stuffs are with him too! I think I will do NC for a month first till I ask for them though. I am doing NC for 3 days now but it is quite hard for my situation because of my Facebook. He set me as his favorite which it will notify on his iPhone display screen every time I update my Facebook. :O haha. I am not sure what to do. Does it consider as breaking NC?
I removed him from my Facebook because I felt like I was being influenced by him regarding what I was posting and not posting.
I don’t think this is a breakup for you guys. If you are patient and are ok with little communication with him, then there might still be hope. But you need to take control of yourself and only communicate when he does if you are ok with that.
NC Day 28,
I’ve almost passed a month. I feel very strong, I don’t know if I’ve made a lot of changes, some but not a lot. I liked myself the way I was so, I didn’t feel like I needed to change. I have started doing crossfit since the breakup, but can’t see a lot of changes yet. But I am not overweight or anything like that. Just dont see the abs yet!
I’ve been missing him more and more…I don’t know if I want to break nc. What would I say? I dont want another emotional breakdown. Thoughts?
If I recall you tried contacting him before. Right? I wouldn’t break NC. Don’t let the doubt creep in.
He will know you still want him if you do. If he wants to contact you he knows how.
Flip side is if you are okay with whatever response you get. But it doesn’t sound like it.
He always responded when I contacted him. He was the first person to break nc the first time. But yeah, I should just do nc forever until he contacts me. I know what his response would be…he’ll talk to me, but I know he won’t be ready to give us another shot. So, no point in breaking nc.
I still feel angry sometimes. But I guess that’s to be expected.
I’m going on a date tomorrow that I’m kind of excited about…Hope it goes well.
Thanks bguarino.
Hi Travel Bug, just wondering how you’re doing. I’ve been thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts. You must be done with a full month of NC now. I hope you will keep it up, and never break it, ever! I hope you had a fabulous date the other night, and I hope you’ll soon find someone who appreciates you and loves you and respects you (and I hope you’ll feel the same about him). And if not, I hope you’ll enjoy the single care free life. I know I’m going to do that now, and for the first time in a long time I feel genuinely happy to wake up every day and face the world. I wrote an update on my situation in my original post, but I just wanted to write here to check in on you, and to tell you how grateful I am to you for all your kind and wise words and support to me. I hope I can repay it somehow by sending you good wishes, across the oceans!
I hope that your anger and hurt will pass quickly, and that your ex will soon stop being an emotional burden on you.
Keep us updated, and if you don;t post here any more, I’ll hope it is because you have properly MOVED ON, and need no more encouragement from us! Which will be wonderful….Hi SM, I’m so glad to hear that you are doing sooo much better! And thank you for your kind and encouraging words. Isn’t it so empowering to have that control back over your emotions?! I was angry and hurt, but I think I almost don’t care anymore. I also know that I have no urge to ever contact him if he doesn’t reach out. Even if he does, I don’t want him back anymore either. I know that people get back together and get married, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get back together. There’s a reason he’s an ex and when I really think about it, I don’t think he would have given me the life I would have wanted. But you only realize that in hindsight.
I am dating this new guy who is really sweet and really into me. I don’t think I’m quite ready for him but he’s pretty convincing! So we’ll see what happens! I know that he’s the kind of guy I should be with instead of the assholes I’m used to dating. Let’s see how things go!
Thanks again for checking!
Wonderful news, TravelBug (about dating a new guy) and I’m so glad he’s sweet and good to you. Take it slowly; be careful with your emotions as you’ve been through a lot these past few weeks and months; but have fun! And keep us posted. I’m so glad you’ve realized your ex wouldn’t have given you the kind of life you wanted. It’s important to keep that in mind, if you ever find your thoughts turning back to him. Just remember that, and remember that you deserve better – and hopefully you’ve found that in the new guy. I’m going to keep all your words in my mind too, and try to live every day now looking to the future with hope and happiness. I’m very grateful that my ex wrote to me, because it was a very sweet and nice email, but I’m absolutely sure now that the break up was for the best, and that I have a whole life ahead of me, without him.
I am trying to love this new guy, but I find myself being short and impatient sometimes. In a way I feel like he is where I was with my ex. I’m very honest with him and try to keep him at a distance but it’s wonderful having him in life even though I feel like there’s not enough to last a lifetime.
I still thinking about my ex, more and more lately. There hasn’t been any contact since the last time and I plan to never break the silence.
I’ve been doing crossfit and planning my life and the future. I am living for myself and not for anyone else. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but I do know that my heart is still fragile and I’m not able to give it away to anyone yet.
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