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are you still living together?
you could try to stay out of sight as much as possible, but nothing very uncommon which might make her think that you are seeing someone else.When you are together at home, if it is the case, keep yourself active cleaning the house or smth. Prepare or order something she likes to eat and plan something she likes to do and invite her. I think it will make her feel special, but just in case NC is not working. That is what I would do.
staying home ignoring one another without doing anything or keeping yourself busy with your own individual things won’t help, believe me
Hi Chris,
if you are not blocked elsewhere, I think you should continue contacting her. Be nice and pleasant. It sounds like all you talk about is the relationship itself. It is kind of tiring. Only avoid falling into the friend zone. After a while you can do NC. I’ve already been contacted by someone after weeks even if it was a short term relationship
perfect for you.
Do NC for 1 month and disappear completely. In one month you will have a good excuse to contact him without talking about the past. And recall that he may contact you first during that period and if he does, don’t reply right away.
hi Adam,
if she didn’t block you nor did she deleted your photos on instagram, this may be a good sign. She might be happier, sadder or less sad without you, you cannot know it. I would say she is relieved for the time being, which is not necessarily a permanent state.
I would suggest that you give her some space and ask your common friend to not ask her about your relationship or feelings or whatever related to the two of you.
After a couple of weeks you may ask her how she’s been doing and see what happens next
These are but only basic questions. It depends on whether you want to stick to NC.
If so, yes, you broke NC several times and should start it again and you keep making mistakes, such as arguing and talking about the relationshipIf it works or not is dependent on each particular situation. But I think it’s always the best course when your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, or else you can make things worse. I can tell you from my own experience. I know how difficult it os to keep NC, but you have to be strong and stick on it. Today is my 21st day of NC and I am proud of it. The dumper has all the power until they realize that they don’t posess you either, and then they eill come back or move on
it looks like you’ll have to go NC just for yourself and not for him to miss you. Take this time to heal yourself and make the best decisions. You can tell him that you must do it for yourself and if he likes you he will respect your decision. You may also tell him that you will contact him once you feel better and that he doesn’t need to worry about you, because if you need to ask our tell him anything you will do it.
Yes, of course you would need to break NC so as to explain the reasons and start it from scratch
It doesn’t sound so bad, as long as you don’t hurt this girl.
Does she have any grasp about your feelings? I have been taling to some girls. I think it would be fair if you told them about your feelings toward your ex. Sincerity won’t hurt in this caseThanks Patricia,
I am also for going with my feelings, but at the time I’m afraid of making more mistakes. I went with my feelings and desperately texted her, pleaded and begged, so I don’t feel confident enough to make some important decisions like that anymore. I feel like I’d be faking if I just contacted her without saying sorry.
I wrote her a long letter before the NC period, but I don’t think I ever apologized specifically for being verbally abusive.
I take this opportunity to tell you how much I admire you for being so kind, caring and supportive.
Dear @patricia12,
thank you once again for your as usual insightful remarks. But I’m still really confused. As I said, she doesn’t seem to be interested in the changes I may have undergone. It really seems that she’s doing this for herself.
Sometimes I think that odds are not entirely against me, since she didn’t move on to another guy, as far as I’m concerned and she is going to live all alone, which does not necessarily mean that she won’t meet another guy soon and that is what I’m afraid of too.
Do you think mentioning the reasons why we broke up and apologize and so recall the band memories is worth it? And also to directly tell her that I’d like to come back is also a good idea? It is very intuitive indeed, but it is quite the opposite of what everything I’ve read so far, because all these blogs tell us to not talk about willing to get back together when first contacting the ex-partner after the NC time is over
Thanks once again
It doesnt mean that you shouldn’t contact him anymore. I also ask myself this question sometimes, but I think it depends on how you feel and how you think he will react when the NC period is over. You may want to take into account that he may contact you inbetween, but anyway you should’t do it before the 30 day NC time is over.
hi @hesgone,
it seems to me that your last contact with him happened yesterday.
I would suggest that you take a long breath and immediatelly stop being impulsive. I know how difficult it is, but you have to avoid making more mistakes, which may push him further.As it doesn’t look like that you implemented NC yet, given that your last contact was yesterday, send him an SMS or email, say sorry about your behaviour without getting into many details and wish him the best. Then go immediatelly NC and just disappear. I think this will prevent you from making more mistakes and will give you some time and space to think about your relationship and yourself, but of course this is just a suggestion.
I wish you have luck
I hope you do @PrinceJ, I’m myself coping with it and only two weeks have passed. Whatever happens, don’t ever talk about her rebound and give her some space to miss you like a bf, not as a friend. Anyway I feel you’re in a good situation, since she does not mean to break contact with you, although I think you should for a while.
To be quite honest, I wouldn’t send such a letter. I think you focused pretty much on the negatives. I suppose you already talked to her about all these things, so I don’t think it would be a good idea to recall all of them. I’d rather briefly apologize for my bad behaviour, tell her something good that’s happening or has happened and focus on HER, such as her qualities and wish her all the best. I’m going to do the same in two weeks. Unfortunately I cannot write a letter, because I wouldn’t know how to really give it to her, since I’m not supposed to know her new address, although I suspect I know it. Don’t focus on the negatives. Be positive!
