Is NC the right approach to my particular case?

My 32 year ex-gf left our house two months ago. As I had a really bad time with the relationship and several other problems, it was something like a relief.

After 3 weeks of NC at all, I was feeling better and contacted her so as to fix things. However, I realised that she was really hurt and confused instead of missing me, I think. After I met her, she even huged and kissed me, but the day after she told me it was a mistake and that she wavered, which at least for me was a signal that she had a plan to step back, break up and have NC with me so as to forget me.

Then she implemented it. I started freaking out and made a lot of mistakes, such as sending her long and numerous text messages, emails, talking to her parents until the day she sent me a message telling me that she did not love me anymore and did not miss me. She avoided saying that. She just said she was confused, needed time and space and that she was not sure about her feelings anymore. As I put a lot of pressure on her during 20 days, I don’t really know if she meant it.

She was the last one to text. I didn’t reply to her text. I am not sure whether this was the right decision or I should be the last one to do it, but then I went NC immediately (I started it 16 days ago). I am not part of any social network at all. I only use whatsapp and she blocked me from the very beginning, so the only way I could contact her is through SMS.

Before dating me she had an also long relationship which lasted 9 years. We dated for 7 years, having lived 2 years and a half together. I learned from her previous relationship that NC from the side of her ex-bf didn’t really affected her and she moved on to me some months later. Well, actually she told me that she thought of him after we had a serious argument and unblocked him on google talk but it happened many years ago and I really think she is over him. But I think that NC from his side helped her forgetting him years later. In that case she was the dumped one.

This time it is a bit different. She is accused me of being verbal abusive, which I finally realised to be true, and then she dumped me. Ever since she simply ignored me and also implemented NC, but seemingly not to get me back but to get over me. When she broke up with me, she said she needed time and space to get some self-esteem, to get some self-knowledge and so on, but I also think she wanted to heal her affective dependency, which she is supposed to have according to her psychotherapist.

I intend to end NC on November 1st, when it would be our 7th anniversary, but I don’t expect to get any reply.

I am struggling to decide what to exactly text, because I have some goals when doing it, such as getting some power back and kind of leaving the door open without looking needy and desperate to get her back. I’m not sure if I have to apologize again, recall some good memories and show her that I already changed a lot – which is true as a matter of fact, since I acknowledged and accepted my mistakes and compromised myself to not let them happen again.

The point is that I don’t feel it will be meaningful, because for the time being she doesn’t to seem to be interested if I’ve changed or not, but it’s now all about herself.

So my question is: should I get into so many details as I described above when ending NC in two weeks? Should I leave an open-ended question or just let it go? If she doesn’t reply (I am pretty sure she won’t, because it is recent and she is about to move in to a new house and bought all the furniture she will need and spent a lot of money on it and will be probably very busy), what should I do? Should I contact her again some weeks later or simply accept and let her go?

I’d just like to recall that I’m not sure if NC is the right approach to my case

Thanks for your time and patience you spend to read such a long story