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What is really promising is that since you were the one who did the breaking up; you have a much better chance of getting him back! Because im sure he didnt want to inn the first place
Just know its normal to do what you were doing after a break up but its also best if you take control and not let your impulses be the one at the steering wheel!
Are you still going to meeet up or go on no contact again? It seems that you are in a good position right now with her agreeing to talk with you again. By “talk” did she mean call or text? I do think it would be a good idea to text for now and build things up to maybe calling or driving to pick her up to hangout! Going for ice cream would be nice like patricia said, there is alot of freedom that goes with having a car and you can definitely plan some fun dates with it.
If you plan on doing no contact again then i would send the text saying youre focusing on other things but it seems like you dont need it if she is agreeing to hangout or talk on the phone
@patricia12 what if this is her trying to reach out and talk again though? I know in the past iron blood has gotten some pretty mixed signals but if his ex is reaching out to him maybe he should reply nicely but keep it short and end the conversation quickly. Then in a couple days maybe his ex or iron blood can reach out again to talk and slowly build up their conversations so they are comfortable and calm enough not to argue about the relationship. I dont mean to argue, im just playing devils advocate.
Also iron blood or patricia id really appreciate it if you could look at my last thread i posted “update, guidance needed” itd help me alot
Hey iron blood
As far as the mixed signals go i think you almost have to be prepared for them now. Just so that if they do happen you can deal with them properly and take care of yourself first!
Dont get down on yourself too. Everyone deserves to be loved and to be happy. No one needs another person to be happy all they need is theirself. Youre an interesting fun and deeply caring guy. Those are all attributes that anyone would be lucky to have in their bf or gf and just because you dont feel like you have them right now doesnt mean they arent still there. Grab some friends, plan to watch a hockey game or a football game or whatever youre into and have fun! Drink some beers and just enjoy the moment! I hope things work out between you and your ex but just know that she isnt the one who dictates your happiness, you are.
Also, dont feel stupid for loving her or thinking she is the one. When you were together she earned that from you and you opened yourself up too her like no other. Your relationship was fun and sexy and full of love and it doesnt just go away; anyone on this site could vouch for that. There is nothing stupid about love or having love in your life, we are all lucky to find someone who deserves our love.
I hope your conversation goes well with her this morning. Try and let her text you first just so she is thhe one chasing you.
To go about making to move to in person just say something along the lines of “we’ve been talking for a while and I was thinking that maybe it’d be fun to catch up in person, do you want to go for coffee?”
Make sure not to call it a date though. It might freak her out
Does she like those kind of things? Because with the messages you want to say something that makes her see you in a positive way or bring a smile to her face.
If the call was just friendly then you have to make sure she doesn’t see you as a friend because after all you want her back and not just as a friend.
If you can call a couple times (maybe twice/week to start) a week it would be a good basis to start building that attraction again. After about 2- 2 1/2 weeks of good positive calls from your ex it might be possible to meet up with them
By other friends do you mean other guys? And what was this call like, what was the overall atmosphere of the call? Was it flirty or just friendly?
Hey John
I wouldn’t recommend calling when you’re just re establishing contact. It might overwhelm her after so long without talking. Just send a text that is nice and also gives her a way out just in case she doesn’t want to respond. I know that part doesn’t sound like something good but you don’t want her to feel trapped and if you give her an out and she still responds, then it means that she really did want to talk to you! By giving an out I don’t mean saying “you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to” I mean sending a message that doesn’t really need a reply and is still nice like “hey just saw some of your favourite fruit on sale at the store, I thought you’d wanna know?”
See it doesn’t really ask for a response but she can if she’d like to.
If she does respond to you, try to end the conversation as quickly as possible afterwards. The goal here is to gradually start building those conversations bigger and bigger but to start small. You also have to be interesting and confident during those chats because that’ll make you more attractive to her
I think you have the right idea going. Ive never really heard of acute separation anxiety! If it is that, im not sure if its a good idea to call your ex out on that just because anyone can be defensive if they were told that too. I really do hope that she does come around. I mean why dont they want us to love them ya know? Haha oh and why’d you comment watching on the other post?
