Qball

You have no idea how much this relates to my situation as well mari. Maybe not in the same reasons for why we broke up but our two relationships were along the same lines in how it was LDR and our SO had done some serious thinking about the future.

Heartbreakingly deciding to take us out of theirs

Both me and my ex gf wanted to get married and have kids and it wasnt scary to either of us just like im sure it wasnt for you. We both loved with our complete hearts but ended up being broken up with none of the less. If youd like to know more about my situation maybe have a peak at one of my threads.

Im sorry if i cant provide much advice but ill be watching this thread closely. Both you and i deserve to be happy no matter what and i hope for both of us that it is with our ex’s. Be strong and keep up with NC, im sure youll make great strides in your own wellbeing. I know that its hard but itll be worth it in the end. Sometimes its just such a relief to be able to write stuff down and take it off your mind. Maybe try writing down how youre feeling in a journal or something like it. Its very therapeutic. Also talk with your parents! They will always be there for you no matter what. Personally im not very close with mine but i opened up to my mom because i felt like i was in pieces and she really helped me pick myself back up. Plus, chances are they know about heartbreak and have experienced it too so it goes to show that you will get through it just like they did, and become a better person. Youre 2 years older than me and probably a million miles away but i feel like situations like these connect people like you and me and its always healthier to talk about it than to keep it bottled up inside and let it consume you.

Ya no kidding haha
This sucks for all of us right now

Hey guys

Mrswb: when I first read both of your responses I got super sad but not because of anything you said. I just know that what you said is true about having to let her go.

And from reading both octopuses comment and mrswb’s I kind of had an epiphany on something.

I think her sister went through something similar! Because her sister goes to school in another city across the country but when she is home she always hangs out with another guy that she used to have history with in high school(I know this because my ex told me so). She didn’t tell me anything else but it was obvious to both me and my ex that they were both still in love about 6 years after.

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe getting back together with her is the wrong approach like you guys were saying. Maybe me and her can stay really good friends like her sister and her old bf. So we wouldn’t be out of each others lives like I’m sure neither of me or my ex want but it wouldn’t restrict her or me on choosing what to do in these formative years!

Thank you guys so much this really helped a lot and made me happy after having that little epiphany. I’m still thinking of keeping nc until her birthday and then maybe asking her to meet. At that meeting is when I’ll ask if we can still stay close friends. Hopefully she would like to also! 🙂

Please say any other of your thoughts on the matter still! since I’m still young, not many of my friends have had a relationship as long as me, let alone got broken up with like this haha so they can’t offer any useful advice like you guys!

Thanks again!

Thank you so much guys!

Background info: we are both 18 and were together for a year and a half. Her main hobby is horse jumping which takes her across the country. We have been able to handle the long distance parts of our relationship with ease and had been extremely happy and in love with each other until recently when she left on after an unresolved fight.

My Ex girlfriend and I broke up about a week and a half ago. For the last month and a half we had gotten in a bad cycle of having arguments every 1.5-2 weeks which were not huge fights but still took a toll on us as we started to feel More distant. She was away at the time which also didnt help the situation.
2 days prior to the break up we talked about having a serious talk about us and how we have been having trouble lately. She also asked for space and to not talk before we hung out next in 2 days.

When we did hang out next I gave the solution that since she is home for a while we would have time to work on us and get back to our normal, happy, loving relationship. but she proceeded to say she thinks it’s best for us to break up because she doesn’t see things ever going back to like they were before and she doesn’t think we could handle a long distance relationship based on the past month and a half. She also said that since she is away a lot for her sport she may find a place who would like her to stay With them and compete through that location and if that does happen she can’t have the idea of leaving me behind make her feel guilty about being away (which it never has before). She also said that through all these reasons she still loves me dearly.

2 days after that we texted and she said how her mind is made up but i remained calm and kind during the conversation and tried not to seem needy even though my emotions were crazy. We ended the conversation on a good note by telling each other that we are both there to talk if the other would ever need to and we also said our thank you’s to each other.

It’s been 7 days since those last text messages and I’ve started no contact. My emotions have been crazy but I’ve stayed strong and taken into mind all of the tips on this website and many others. Long distance would always be a part of our relationship for the seeable future and I know the complications it presents but I know that I would be able to put in the work and effort to keep us strong during that time apart.

In the upcoming year she will be going away for horse shows frequently. I might also move away for law school in the 2017/18 school year but it is still in the idea stage. She also might be moving away for school that year as well.

So with all this in mind my questions/worries are:
⁃ Do you think it is worth it to try and get back together considering the future distance barriers? ( I believe we could do it but I know it takes both sides)
⁃ Do you think NC will work in this situation?
– what can I do during NC to fix the problems we had?
⁃ If NC continues as planned it will end about 4 days after her birthday, should I extend the NC to a further date? Or should I plan to start contact again by using her birthday as an “ice breaker”?
– Am I being selfish by wanting to get back together?

Any other advice is always welcomed too