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Hi John, Since you just talked with her yesterday, wait until next week to text once or twice. Maybe call her the week after. Don’t bring up the relationship during the call unless she does and then keep any reply to it very short.
Good luck, you’re doing fine so far..She saw the message but didn’t respond… my 18yr old brain is panicking! What should I do?
John, Please don’t panic. What message are you referring to and when did you send it?
I sent a message saying “Wtf… my cousin evhan invited me to a furry party…” a long time ago we spoke about furry people and it was a fun conversation.
I said that about an hour ago and she looked at it… it says “seen” but she never said anything.
It seems like she’s being “cold” or doing it on purpose.
Oh I missed that “since you called her yesterday” part… fuck.okay I’ll wait till next week.
Don’t send too many “cutesy” texts. You were in a serious relationship and the silly things won’t go far to make her feel closer to you. Whenever you send a text and she doesn’t reply right away or it takes a while, don’t stress out. Just don’t overwhelm her with texts.. I know it’s difficult, but stick to your original plan.
I agree Patricia, it’s just hard to know that she is texting her friends with no issue, then when I send a text she doesn’t answer after reading it. I’m very stressed… I’m going to clean and listen to music lol.
I’ll text her next Saturday and see where it goes… I just wish she knew about the “honeymoon phase” last time we spoke on the phone I was like “I think our honeymoon phase ended” she was likept no we dated for two years… I was thinking “it typically last 2.6 years but varies” didn’t say that tho.
Here’s a summary/repost
Here’s what’s happening.
We are both 18 and started college two months ago. After our breakup I did 21 days of no contact, I broke it… I know tsk..tsk… anyways. It was my birthday and I didn’t get a “happy birthday” that made me mad so I texted her, when she didn’t answer I called, still no answer… her phone is broken so we spoke on Skype for about an hour the next day.
During the Skype call we made jokes, she showed me her computer screen, she wanted me to give her ideas on what pumpkin picture to carve. I know this is stupid but during the Skype call I talked to her about why we broke up, she said I was being needy, I now realize, I was contacting her a lot, however that is because we saw each other once a week. She seemed fine texting her new friends in their “college group chat” filled with people in her class, she wouldn’t text me but would respond to their text, this bothered me. Back to the present (after our breakup and 21days of NCR) in the Skype call she seemed very unremourseful (when we broke up she balled, saying “I’m not IN love with you”. The day after our breakup I called again and we both balled”). Anyways during our Skype call her tablet was going crazy with texts from the “group chat” she is in a drama program with them, they always talk and have fun in the chat (she muted the chat while we were talking for that hour). When she left to carve the pumpkins I was sad… she posted a picture of them on Instagram later that night, I commented saying “told you, you can’t carve the carousel” I said this because we looked at a hard carving and I told her she couldent do it lol! She responded with “I ain’t never said I was going to attempt it”). They were good carvings… so I messaged her later saying “seriously good job, whish I had them whittle skills” she said “many do” that was the end of that conversation.
Today.
I texted her with a positive message not relating to the relationship. She saw it (message said seen*). But she never responded that freaked me out. I spoke with people on the forums they told be to calm down, so I did… I cleaned my room and did laundry to keep my mind off it.The Plan…
What I plan on doing is contacting her next week with a simple yet interesting text, I will leave it open so if she wants to respond she can but if not… she doesn’t need to. If she responds I will bring the conversation to an end saying “need to make dinner” or something else non threatening. After a few weeks we can move into calls, meets and see where it goes.Advice!
Anyone have advice on my situation? Things I really want to know are…
– WHAT IF SHE DOESENT RESPOND TO MY TEXTS NEXT WEEK.
– While doing this how do I avoid the friend zone.
– Why is she being very friendly but sassy/cold when I talk about the relationship? (I kinda have an idea, please more info tho lol)
– Is my plan good? Do I need more NC, after 21days it seems like she doesn’t miss me, “she said a weights been lifted”.Guys, I really do love this girl, we have wonderful times when we were together. I don’t want this to slip away… even if she’s being sassy/cold (when we browe up she said “I just wish you hated me, it would be easier” is this a way to make it easier for her?) Please Help!
– John@John Crane – When you were together, you were acting too needy by by calling way too much. You don’t want to fall back into that same pattern by texting too much. In fact, don’t call or text too much even if you get back together! It drains a relationship dry. Instead spend more time going out and doing fun things to create more memories. Okay, if you think her attraction faded while you were together because she said “I’m not in love with you” and she doesn’t understand why, maybe look online for articles to read about the stages of a relationship and send her a link. Don’t worry about the “friend zone”. A woman who has deeply loved a man does not put him in that category easily or quickly! Of course you were upset she didn’t sent you a birthday greeting, but I hope you never told her it upset you! You were not together at that time and maybe she just didn’t think it would be appropriate, I don’t know and it doesn’t really matter now. You have to let that go.. Please don’t be jealous or upset that she’s texting her friends. That’s normal and has nothing what-so-ever to do with your situation with her. You must get control of yourself. Only send one text the latter part of next week (since you just sent one today). If she doesn’t respond, don’t panic or send another one until at least another week goes by. She said she wishes you hated her so you wouldn’t be feeling the hurt you do now and she doesn’t want you to act needy anymore by texting and calling too often. Believe me, she definitely misses you, but you’re going to push her further away by sending too many meaningless cutesy stuff. The weight she feels has been lifted is getting away from your needy clingy behaviors. Give her some time to think about your good attributes and better memories from the past. She can’t do that if you bombard her with texts and calls.
I do understand what you are saying, thanks for the advice. I did tell her no happy bday upset me… oops, I won’t let that bother me tho. I will take it slow and focus more on myself. I just cleaned my room and did all the laundry. I am also singing more, I like doing it but am uncomfortable doing it in front of to others lol
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