-
Posts
-
Stop looking at social media! See what I mean by stuff making you wonder? It’s making you go crazy. You’re putting every detail under a microscope and it’s ridiculous. Get a hold of yourself! Stay no contact and get busy doing something. You have to stop obsessing! How are you ever going to change your neediness? Stop whining and focus on school work ect & etc.. And calm down too, lol.
i literally overanalyzed everything that was posted on social.. every like, every comment. it made me sick to my stomach. and one day i woke up and told myself that i can control this situation. i can control not seeing my ex’s fb page. and i blocked him. i honestly feel much healthier and you will, too. i promise. just try – give social media a rest for 5 days and see how you feel.
I understand and it will be good for me.
It’s becoming obsession rather than attraction/love. I need to slow down because I can feel my emotions going crazy. Some of my family battles depression and I feel like I’m going down the road of mental illness.
I am unable to control my thoughts and emotions and my mom said it’s becoming unhealthy. I got overly attached… to the point where I was not living for myself anymore, I still feel like I’m living to make others happy… I can’t stop these emotions, I must learn to stay calm and live for myself again before I do something that I can’t take back.
Because of this I feel like it is appropriate to wait before contacting my ex I need time to gather my bearings.
Thanks,
Grayson (my real name)
i think a breakup can trigger obsessive thoughts. it’s easy to start overthinking and overanalyzing, so you are not alone in your thoughts. i went through that phase where i was stuck in my head and some days i’m still like that. it just means you are able to care about someone – which is a good thing!
but at some point, for your own health, taking a step back and not constantly worrying about what she is doing, who she is talking to, etc will really help you. you can only control how you act and respond, not what she does. remember that. and learn to take one day, or one hour at a time.
you’re going to be okay 🙂
Just know its normal to do what you were doing after a break up but its also best if you take control and not let your impulses be the one at the steering wheel!
John_crane you honestly sound exactly like me! Even the situation! This is very weird cause we’re also very similar. I’m 18 and we dated in college and broke up before etc. I’m the same type of guy who doesn’t drink/drugs/smoke etc and I don’t sleep around. Everything you’ve described is very similar to me! I was very attatched I guess. But learning from past mistakes i got her back twice. We’ve broke up for the 3rd time now. You can read my posts if you want or my latest to see a quick overview.
But I’d just like to say, over analysing will lead you to being insecure and even more attached. It will make you feel shit and bring you down. You need to lift your own spirits. If you love this girl you fight for her but not with your instincts! You need to step back and be outside the box. Once you’ve got your emotions controlled you will see things in a different and positive light which will make you a happier and more attractive person. It will take some time. Just take it slow bro! Just don’t bring up the past relationship if you next end up in contact unless she does. Even then don’t point any fingers for what went wrong, instead try and come off as if you are both agreeing to the “root” of the problem if you know what i mean. This may sound harsh but at the moment your ex won’t show feelinge or empathy. She’ll be cold as ice. You need to understand that underneath that she is just as hurt as you. This is why you need to be strong. Don’t show weakness. You got this. Just read some online articles and talk to us on here. These boards will help alot. I hope i have motivated you to stay calm and relax your thoughts so you don’t over think things. You got this bro. It will take some time but i belive in you. Good luck!
P.s if anyone needs advice or anyone to talk to I’m here. I’m going through a rough patch so ill be more than happy to talk/help you guys and if you want to read my posts you can but you don’t have to. I’m here to help.
OMG… thanks dude that calmed me right down! I’m waiting two weeks as you probably know, however, I am not sure if that is long enough. (For me to gather myself).
But a good advantage is that I’m going to start slow, one or two texts a week, then calls, etc… this will give virtually more time to gather myself and feel better.
Even as I’m writing this “our song” just came on my Playlist and I didn’t notice or care lol I’m making progress 😉
Like I said before it’s just hard to look At this break like “improving myself woo!” Instead of “Okay, only 13, 12, 11 etc… says until I can text her woo!”
Sorry to hear about you btw, I know how it feels lol hope you are feeling better and it all works out.
Dang! This is one of the more “popular” topics, apart from the ones with like 200 – 800 replies lol
I’m in class right now… im typing this on my laptop 🙂
I don’t even know 100% what i’m writing about, it’s just that I want… reassurance I guess, don’t worry I know that that is something you guys can’t give me. Well that’s not true, you can assure me that “everything is going to be okay”, you can say “you’ll be able to move on and find someone else”. Something you can’t say however is “You’re going to get back with Maddie, you guys will have a happy and healthy relationship!”. It sucks how the one thing I want to happen so badly is the one thing I cant control.No matter how much I improve myself, how much I try, how good I treat her, what if she just… doesn’t like me? How can I deal with that? Someone basically after all my efforts looking at me and saying “you’re not good enough…” well I suppose it wont matter what she thinks when I move on. I cant help but not want to move on, I feel like it would make everything easier if I did, I would be happier, but if I try to move on and forget about her… it meas its 100% over (I understand that it wont matter if it’s over if I move on, I will no longer care about her and what she says about me). But it’s a matter of getting to that point, the point where I no longer have the desire to… see, touch and love my ex.
I guess what i’m getting at is, how do I move forward without giving myself false hope? How do I feel like i’m both progressing with my life while trying to be apart of my ex’s?
Why does the human brain work like this… even with all of the support from you wonderful people and all of the “it’s going to be okay!”, “you have a good chance!”. I’m still scarred, I wish that I could just KNOW if it’s going to work out…
Well, thanks for reading my rant, i’m kinda all over the place. I should keep a video diary and log all of these chats, then give it to people who want to learn about breakups 🙂
Sometimes I’m happy and sometimes I’m really depressed, you can read my last post to know exactly how I feel.
Any advise you can give? Or something you can say that will make me more confident we will get back together lol:)
PS. How have you been?
Hey, I have found that the pain from the breakup hurts less everyday. I no longer cry randomly or have dips where I stalk her instagram while tearing up. I still have ups and downs I just find the downs easier and the ups more fun. It doesn’t hurt me as bad when I see a pictures of her either.
Today my family got on the topic of the breakup, we were at my aunt’s and… everyone thinks they are a “proffessonal” on the subject. They made it worse saying things like:
“she said she’s not in love with you! You need to move on you, you have no chance.”
Can somone help me? I need advice, my two week NCR ends in like 8days and I am kinda nervous.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.