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So how do you all thinks that went..?
I actually didn’t plan the whole night….I tried, but things just sort of…followed the flow, it was actually very natural and genuineHi
I’m no a great expert, but I’ve felt and maybe still feel like you, and I want you to know that I completly understand you.It’s an horrible feelings, I felt like I was wasting precious time,and that it was so unfair that he’s enjoying life while I was here trying to not crumble.
I actually ended my NC a few days ago, after my mind cleared,and I made positive changes in my life. I did really change both my appereance and how I beheave, and I must say that I feel so much better.
It’s normal to think about him,or what he’s doing, but trust me I’ve blocked most of my thought about him, and yes you have to repeat yourself that there’s a possibility that you won’t have him back but you’ll fight with everything to try, so you’ll have no regrets.
The NC is not for him, it’s for you….it makes you grown in a different person,more confident and attractive, and yes you should walk around like you could have every man on earth at your feet.
And remember that you do all the hard work on yourself, he doesn’t have to do it ,because the break up was his decision .Hey Sucker!
I love what you said! even if I finished my NC,I still have doubt if he’s missing or thinking about me sometimes!
I’ve just go out with him and our group of friends last night and everything went great,I think ^__^’.
And my exBf is a bit like yours, the “never admit to missing me” part. He put on this tough guy act,especially when he’s with our friends, and after the break up I think he went it the consistency phase, and maybe he is still in that…but I hope Iìll be able break through that during the false friendship.
Stephany:
Hi! Thank you for taking time to read and comment!
I understand what you say, I really do! But I can’t go and find friends under rocks or go hunting for them (if that’s what you were talking about). I mean I cannot make new friends from nothing right now, probably when I’ll start the new semester.
I ‘ve at least added a lot of new guys and girls from my course on facebook that he doesn’t know, but he probably saw it on his page.When we went out yesterday I paid attention to everyone, but I could have paid special friendly attention to one of his oldest friends, wich I adore (he’s really crazy and funny) and I joked with him a lot…but nothing flirty because I know him since I’ve met my ex, but yeah I can say that I paid more attention to him, but I think not in a flashy way….maybe he saw that, maybe not.
Ps: I noticed that sometimes I could see in the corner of my eyes, or if I turn my head in his direction, that he was watching me. Not like a crazy maniacs and not in a lovely way ( ahahah I wish!).
I don’t know maybe he ws looking at me to find signs of stress, or maybe sadness or just to see if I was acting.
I think that one of this times when his eyes went on me, I was already watching in his direction (not his face! And not in a dreamy way),I cought him briefly and I smiled, one of my sweeter and happy smile.UPDATE!
Guys! Yesterday night we agreed to meet up all together!, so I went to the meeting point( wich is a pub a bit far from our homes, but we’ve akways liked it).
I had to do the road alone…of course, I’m not really great at that ahahhaha, I get lost pretty often, but I managed arrived safe and sound =).When I’ve see him with our friends, a put on an huge smile, then I saw his new motorbike and I showed entusiasm, happiness and interest in that.
Then the others arrived and we went along with the night. After some times of joking and laughing I’ve made my proposal (for who don’tknow, I proposed to go an amusment park wich is also a waterpark, because I know that they’ll have so much fun).
And I’m so happy that they’ve agree that! We just have to decide on a date, probably next saturday.
I can’t wait ! Because I’ll be a great opportunity forme to have so much fun with everyone, and he’ll see….also I’ll be in a swimming suit….with my weight loss and gym …well it’s not bad.after some time we decided to move to another bar, nearer our home. We paid some coffe and we went straight to play Foosball (wich I always refused to play in the past, because I wanted his attention but he always wanted to play) and I had so much fun, I even played with him as team.
after that we’ve moved to the billiard table, we played and had fun. Sometimes, since I’m short, I had to assume some…..position…wich could be a bit seductive…but hey not my fault, it’s the game, I didn’t do it on purpouse.
After some time I “attacked”….I said to everyone that the situation between him and me is like that, and I’ve accepted it, and that I just want to go out and have fun with my friends , since the summer is almost over and I want to make the best out of it. So I’m perfectly ok to go out all together.
They said that if me and him had no problems with eachother, then for them is perfectly ok to hang out, and he said that there were not problems.
Then it was time to go home (2:30 a.m ), by then we were just me, him and the two friends who are together.
When we were saying goodbye, I casually told him smiling that sometimes he had to let me try his new baby (motorbike), and he said : sure wanna try it now? I’ll take you to the parking lot where you left the car.
(Which was like…2 meter away ahahahah)I asked him where was ok to hold on, and he said that I should grab him tight, not shoulder (I don’t know how to say it in english, sorry). And then we did a long round, going fast. I laughted because I was having fun, and when he were going faster I grabbed him tighter or I would have flown away ahahahah not for other reasons.
At the car, we told each other that as long as both were serene there was no problem to get out all together.
I said goodbye with a huge smile and went home.so I’m still excited and happy of how it went last night, what do you think?
I’m not planning on send him messages or callingOk the last e-mail I got today was about triggers n°2 =).
this one was more important to me because the one about perfume ecc ugh didn’t get me especially because I never wear the same ones too long,I always change them.But this one about the clothes and your imagine ….wow….this gave me confidence!
I’m feeling so attractive right now , ahahah the ego is really really big. I’m still tan from vacation, I hitted the gym and go running like everyday,I eat so well that I lost so much weight but I’m still toned.
The only problem is to create the occasion to let him see …. ugh
It’s not that Im afraid that he’ll move on ,really….It’s just that I really want to come back in touch with everyone, because for now I’m actually alone and I could use a bit of fun-nights out.
The fact is that I didn’t almost start the false friendship because we still didn’t go out all together.
We just saw eachother for an emergency and we just sent those messages and a call, that’s all…..I don’t know this count as a start to falsefriendship?For an update…I’m staying home tonight too… -__-, ugh
I don’t know if I can wait 2 whole weeks….that’s too much, in the end I’ve already communicated with him both message and calls (the ones that I’ve told about, I didn’t do nothing since the last time).
And when I asked him in the message if they were doing anything that night,he told me that they were already out and already spent money ecc ecc, but the next time we would hang out.If he was not his intention to meet up, he wouldn’t suggested it…right?
I know that all of you are saying to wait for him to call or to contact me….but I pretty sure he won’t….just because he’s like that, I on’t knw how to explain it.
I remenber one of kevin e-mails about CONSISTENCY…I’m afraid that if I don’t do something he’ll stay in that phase, I maybe be the one who’ll have to wake him up from that…I’m so confused, I want to call him or message him, whatever, about tonight, but at the same time I’m not sure, especially because of what you all said.
I talked to his mother, and she thinks that I should contact him to ask him about tonight.
I told her that I don’t want to seem needy ,weak,desperate or that I’m trying to do something, and she told me that she thinks that asking him what are they doing tonight may seems just an harmless question. She said to be honest and said that since my friends are away and since that I don’t see the other for quiet some time if it would be a problem if I joined them…I DON’T KNOW GUYS….I’M SO CONFUSED AND STUCK RIGHT NOW….DAMN =(
Ugh here are 6.10p.m they usually go out at 9:30p.m, but they always call eachother about it.
I’m almost restless,waiting for at least a message to hang out,don’t expect a call….but at least a message……ughI think that if I don’t hear anything from anyone I’m gonna be so depressed thinking what I did wrong ,where I made mistakes in all of this,like…I did nothing right and I’m still hopeless and that I have to start everything again….
….you’re positive that I shouldn’t be the one to ask what are they doing tonight and if I can join them?
damn ,he so so so thick when it comes to other people…how can I let him see me 2.0 if he don’t fucking call me out….aaargh I’m so angry
So you’re saying to don’t have a coversation between us where I make things clear?
Like: I want to stay friends,I’m totally cool with that,I accepted the break up,so I want to continue to hang out with everyone…
because that was actually my plan…I thought that if I told him how things were,he might relax a bit about everything,and maybe he could feel more incline to hang out with me in the group
and after that if he says the thing about seeing him with someone told him that I’m ok with that…
Before reading your answer I thought of telling him that the same thing goes for me…I mean if he sees me with someone else,so there is no problem.Because I don’t think that he’ll let me get away from just saying that I’m ok with that,I’m afraid that he’ll see the “lie” or he will not believe that
what all of you think?
Just something I’ve been thinking…
I remebered that just after he broke up with me, I asked him (crying) if we can still be friends at least,I didn’t want him out of my life and I know he didn’t want it either.
He answered : well yes we can…but what about if you see me with another girl? you’ll just feel bad and start crying again.ecc ecc.At the time I didn’t have the strenght to answer him , and I didn’t thought about it for some time after.
But now….what if I talk to him about staying friends ( false friendship) and he respond with the same topic?…..like what if you see me with another girl?
what would be the perfect answer to that?
sigh ….Deep down I know that I have to…
God it’s so hard ahahahahah, but I can’t trow away what I’ve done until now…uugh
You all right….it’s just me the problem ahhaha I mean I’m so eager to start the false friendship.
The thing is…I know that I have to wait and all, but the problem is that with a little of summer left (I’m a university student, so apart from study I have free time) I think it’s the best period to let him see the new me.Another thing is that all our friends are mutual ( they’re no many, but we’are a great group), apart for two of my closest friend who are away now, so he gets to spend time with them and have fun, while I’m obliged to stay at home.
Do you see the problem? I want to go out with everyone, but I can’t because he’s with them most of the time….and I can’t do noting but wait, and it’s so unfair a stressful!
I have so many proposals for all of us for the rest of the summer and I know that if they accept we’ll have so much fun and he’ll see how much I’ve changed…but if I can’t even have the occasion to suggest them,then what I’m gonna do?I can’t wait forever…summer’s almost over, I don’t have much time , but as you says I need to wait for him because I can’t seems needy and desperate…
you see?….I’m stuck
yeah me too…they really helped a lot during the darkest days!. Especially when I felt hopless and didn’t write anything on this site.
Now I always look forward to them and I feel so good when they talk about something that I’ve figured out by myself,they make me feel like I’m on the right track!.
I hope theres more.
