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HEY!
I’m actually feeling great!…still love my ex and I still didn’t give up on our chances, but…man I feel great about myself.
ahahhah the old sad and pitiful me?…pfff in the garbage ahahah
I’ve never felt like this before, and I think my ex is starting to see that, I just need more chances for him to see that this me is permanent and that I’ll never become like before.
I’ve learnt so much from this site and from relationship rewind about my past relationship with him that I think I could make the relationship in the Bliss stage forever , even if not with him.
for the rest I’m just studing,working out,talking to my friends,and waiting for all the occasion to go out all together. I even asked my ex to go see a movie we both like, he couldn’t that night because he needed to study for an near exam, but he didn’t say not ever, so I’m hoping that he’ll ask me when he can.
So in general I’m great!.
how about you? =)
Hi I don’t know you, but I find them one day yes, and one day no.
My last one was about the post break up competition.ahahah great! I feel better.
I actually asked him, but he said that this week he’s a bit busy for the upcoming exam ( in 8 days ). So I said that is ok, don’t worry, it was a chance for a relaxing night out then I said that now I needed to go to gym, and at the end I wished him good luck with his studies.
There is still a slim chance that he could change his mind since it’s still early…ahahhaha I hope because I was looking forward , ahhaha both the movie and to a fun night out with just the two of us.
…we’ll see
Hey!
Something came to my mind, it’s not a plan or anything….it’s just something that I thought of in a very normal way, and I want to share it with you.
So recently a new movie came out in Italy, like 4 days ago, dragon trainers 2.
Me and my ex never watched the first at the cinema, we watched it on dvd at his home, and we loved it so much!
We were sure that they’ll do a second one,and we always joked about how his dog was almost like the protagonist’s dragon.We always loved going to the cinema, our first date was at the cinema.
My friend ,out of his circle of friends, already saw it…so or I go watch it alone…which is a bit sad actually, or I could ask him.
Listen to this: when 22 jumpstreet came out he went to see it with his friends, but I was actually the one who made him see the first so when the second was annunced we were happy. Unfurtunaly when they went to see it I didn’t established the false friendship, so they didn’t call me.
When they told me I did the false offended and laugh it off without problems, but then I suggested to go and watch dragon trainers 2, and this is where my problem is.
They say that they’ll probably skip it, money issue, but ….really, come on on wednesday our cinema price is just like 6 euros, but I didn’t press on.
That’s when it came to me that maybe me and him could go watch it together. I didn’t call it a date in my mind but I really really think that we could have great time if we go together like “friends”.
So I want to send him a text:
Hey! listen tonight the cinema cost only 6, how about we go to see dragon trainers2? I think it’ll be a pity to miss that. what do you think?
The problem is the money issue, I’m not sure what to do if he respond with that. I mean …I’m not sure if I should tell him that I’ll pay for him in honor of old times? or that he’ll treat me later when he can.
I really don’t think of this as a date, I just think that is a great opportunity to begin going out alone and to keep things simple,fun and friendly.
Anyone has any more convincing,better ideas for the text?
Hey a.z! long time ! hope things are all well for you!
Thanks for aswering!yeah ahahah I realised that too. =D I’ve never mention it to him since it happened.
I actually talked to his mother about what happened because she suspected it, ahhaha she saw it right away.
Se said that I should take that night as it was and to not think about it much, but to see the bright side which is the fact that he feels attraction to me again or he wouldn’t have do it, and to not listen to one of my friend who said that he was just “hungry” because she knows his son and he is not that kind of guy even if at our age most of them are like this.
I’ve always liked how he was not like any other shallow guys,he’s very kind,and has great principles.
what happened happened and now it’s in the past that’s it.She also said that maybe he likes how things are now and he could also like how I am now or he wouldn’t want to hang out with me,but he is enjoying his freedom to do all his activities without having to wonder if he had plans with me or other things to do with me…..that was something I used to do.
Like I always tried to spend time with him and maybe most of times he didn’t do what he wanted to do because I forced him.
And he could be afraid that if he come back with me I’ll change back.
So I need to have patience and let him see the new me in a long period of time. Hope I explained it well.and another thing…
is it ok or a mistake to remeber things of the past that we did? Especially if thery are things that happen when everything was great?
for example….when in group we’re talking about something that link to something that me and him shared, is it ok to casually talk about it?
like maybe we are talking about a specific place, and maybe is somewhere that me and him visited, so I casually mention it like :
ah yes (watching him) we went there remeber? (then focus on the group again) and it was an amazing place bla bla bla.
or maybe we pass near a restaurant that me and him had a great night, and I point it at my girl-friend and say :
that place is great! you should go with [his boyfriend’s name], ahahah don’t go for the wine, the last time we got drunkguys…
I have a feeling that I should meet up with him alone and talk about that night.Here’s what I want to say:
ehy can we meet up tomorrow? We need to talk.
At the meeting here’s what I want to say :
I think I should make clear with you that what happened that night can’t happen again. I don’t want you to feel that I’m available whenever you want, I’m not like you remeber me.
I’m not the same girl who was dying for you,you wasn’t and you are not my world , and I needed time to understand that.what do you think?
Do you have other ideas on what I should say to him about that night?Please let me know
ahahaha he is a thick head one. He ‘s not really aware of someone feelings not just mine,and he is not a really sensitive guy….but his mother always told him to no taking it that bad because she says that he became like his after his father death which happened 2/3 months before we started dating.
The things that drived me really mad was that when we went out in group he didn’t pay much attentio to me, but now I understand that that was because he didn’t want his friend to feel left out,he didn’t like to be all lovely dovely when we were not alone in fact when we go out now there is a couple with us and it’s kind of embarassing having them glued to eachother all the time.He has his flaws but after thinking deeply over them I understand that he his like this…I fell in love with that him and he never changed…I did and in the worst. The worst mistake I did was nagging him about those things, and never stood up on him when fighting, I was weak and servile.
I’m glad that I changed that, I hope he’ll see it, in time.I’ll do my very best in this….I know that if we get back together with all the changes that I did we can restart a completely new and healthy relationship
Because now I’m complete,I don’t need him to fill a void, I’d like to share my whole new self to him. He is not my life and my world, but I’d like that we would share ours.ahhaah I don’t know if I explained it well, hope you’ll understand
The NCP actually made me realise the reason of the break up….I had the most fault, but he also has faults.
In the beginning I’ll say 2 years in the relationship everything was still almost perfect after the bliss stage.
During the third year we began to become more stressed and nervous, we had a lot of little fights for stupid things, mostly because I was clingy, needy and when he would do things that made me mad or if something was wrong I never speak up…so I just stayed silent but my mood was ruined and that made him angry every time.He always said that he wanted someone who was strong,determinate, that speak his mind and that keep the head up even in a fight, he said that when we fight I should be agry with him and not just say the he was right if I didn’t think it was just to end the fight….and I never did that.
I was so scared to lose him that I wasn’t enjoying myself when we hang out with the others because I wanted his whole attention, and when he could see that I was always angry or sad, that make him angry too, because he wanted someone to have fun with and not someone who ruin the group entire mood, someone who knows how to have fun.
He always said that I needed to stop building my world around him, he wasn’t my entire life and that I needed to be more indipendent from him,I depend on him too much in the past.
All those things put together with my stress and his stress with two works and college made things go as they are now…
He said that he wasn’t happy, and if he wasn’t happy he couldn’t make me happy and things couldn’t be like this anymore.
And this was the 22th of june.now I’ve completely changed, I’m more confident,I feel good in my skin, yes I have still some things to change phyically but I love my body now,I’m not trying to cover it ahaha in fact I’m showing off a bit ( something that I’ve never did).
I’m happy,I laugh a lot,I make jokes I’m almost became the almost most active and crazy person in the group. I have a lot of fun ideas for the rest of the summer, and I need to spend as much time as I can to let him see that I’ve changed.I hope that from his behavior that I’ve descrived he is seeying it…for now it’s just falsefriendship…but I really want to not get stuck in that for too long.
What do you think?
It’s still early, but what can I do to not be stuck in false friendship? and how much time do I need to continue this before it’s the right time to plant the idea of get together again? I know he has to be his idea, but there is something I could do in false friendship to making him starting to think about itI could do the no conctact him thing , but there is the problem that I established the false friendship already, wouldn’t that be weird?
I mean…I recently started to go out with the old group, which is basically all the friends I have and the ones I care the most, and he is always with them, we have the same group of friends,so we all go out together.
I did my NCP with him mostly but with my friends too because where they were he was there too so I couldn’t go out with them.He’s already seeing the new me, I think he needs to see that it’s permanent, I’m like this now, I’m still the girl you fell in love with not the one that you lost attraction to.
Is it still ok doing the NC on the phone with him, but still going out with everyone he included?…
I mean making plans with the group and not with him directly which I didn’t do,I always asked his best friend or my girl-friend.yeah I get it, I don’t want that night to repeat. I’ll just treat him like a friend.
I think I did well to don’t question or became needy after the night, I mean wouldn’t it be worse if I began to expect something from him after that?….or to be needy and demand explanation or asking to get back since it was the one that came to me …I didn’t do any of this, I told him that I was cool about it.
I don’t think that it will happen again because that was something totally unexpected, It’ll be very difficoult to have a chance like that,and even if there was one I’ll not give in.
I’ll explain that I have great respect for me now (which I didn’t have in the past), and he can’t just come to me whenever he wants, he’s not my world anymore.It was just one night we didn’t get back together and then he b
roke it off again in the morning.About the text thing…he rarely ever texted me or his friends even when we were still together, he doesn’t care much about texting apart from making quick plans like what to do in the night or when going out. So is really not his style, and I’m pretty sure he won’t text me out of nowhere if it’s not to make plans,but for that we text another friend.
Anyway…the thing is….he broke up with me saying that he loves me but not in love wih me ecc ecc and that he lost attraction (I’ve put on weight and I wasn’t the funny,happy girl he fell in lovve with anymore, in fact I was broody,sad,nervous and that ruined everything).
I mean if you don’t feel at least of attraction you don’t try to have sex to that person….he’s not that kind of guy trust me, he never use people, he’s a great guy.
I changed a lot after he broke up with me, I’ve lost a lot of weight and I’m more active. When we met with the group of friends I’ve been fun,happy and confident, I had this glow of a new person around me, and I want him to see it.but do you think I’m on the right path…?
Ehy I plan to send the text, I wrote :
ehy, about friday ,I had so much fun! ahahah. I really happy that we can still be friend.
should I say something else?
what if he reply mentioning something from the “night” we had?
maybe if he try to make things clear, even if he already did in person? If he send something like :-about last night…it was just sex, I don’t want you to have strange ideas
or if he say something like:
-I’m sorry for last night, it was a mistkes, I shouldn’t have done thatwhat’s the best respond to these?….I just need to prepare for all the scenarios
thank you, thank you thank you , you bring some peace to my poor mind right now.
I keep thinking about last night, at his touch and I feel so nostalgic,my heart hurts and I want to cry so bad, I try not to but my tears just come out on their own.I really need to prove him, to make him believe that I’m like this now, I won’t change, I really want to fight it.
I even said to him in the morning ,after he said that we were going to his house:-is it ok with you ?
he: yeah sure, if it ok with you I’m good
-it’s just that it’s like you are walking on eggshells around me
he: well I am, I don’t know what are you feeling
– everything is fine really, don’t worry ok?I was never this open about talking of senstive things with him, sometimes I didn’t say about things that I didn’t like because I didn’t want to fight or he to be mad ecc
So I hope that the fact that now I’m the one who brings up these matters at hands is actually winning points in his mind. Is like I’m the one who is more confortable with this situation than him, at least I hope that this is the impression that I’m makingI’m really tired right now, physically and mentally,I need to rest hoping to not have any nightmare tonight.
I’ll see how I going to be tomorrow.I hope that you (a.z) will keep to advise me and support me like you did since now. I really value what you write, thank you.
I’ll see tomorrow what a goodnight rest will do to my thoughtsHi
yes I know, I don’t plan to do it again , and in my help comes the fact that I don’t think there’ll be other chance like that.
I was thinking about the text, should I send it now ( 10:46 pm here ) or wait tomorrow? we are tired, especially him, I don’t know if he’ll see the text.
What about something like this:hey! I haven’t had such great time like I had yesterday in ages!
listen, I don’t want things to be weird between us, and I’m really glad that we can still be good friends and had fun.Also I must say that ….it was very unlike him to do something like that, it really shocked me.
I’ll probably see him soon due to the fact that we go out as a group, is that ok even if is not 2/3 weeks between?….we’ll soon need to start studying and going to university so we’ll try to hang out more frequently before the end of september.
It doesn’t depend on me…I mean I was the one to say that it was ok to call me to hang out.And…do you think that I should bring up the “night” again?…maybe asking why? or is it a bad idea? I want him to know that I’m really cool about it and that I enjoyed it, but everything was ok.
What is your opinion on his behavior that I described ?
about the night, the day after and the fact that he was the one suggesting things to do like visiting his uni, or going around in his bikeare this good signs …? Do I have chances to make him fall for me again?
I understand what I have to do but I want to understand what is thinking….is he confused? or he is trying to see if he can trust this new me?
