Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
But she did have feelings for me no matter what she says. We did have a connection but that soured.
I know this guy won’t last because he has chronic fatigue syndrome and has been burned out for several years from being in the army (which he still is). She is still looking at him through rose tinted glasses. She has been doing his housework for him even though her own housework has been piling up. He wasn’t even sure if he would be up to a BBQ once. I overheard her once telling him that she is having trouble with his physical problems. I know her and she does not do well with people who are sick. She just seems so determined to stick with her decision even though it will not work in the long run.
There have been many nice moments between us over the past few months and I’m not exaggerating
She has several times but they refuse to believe it. Her dad has listened to too many cop stories and her mum just goes with it.
Yeah that is what is confusing me. She was talking about it in terms of the house where what if she wants to buy a new house with someone but then they she says that owning a house with me is too complicated and she doesn’t want to feel tied down.
I was doing OK for a while then all this shit was dumped on me and I went downhill again. I have tried dating but nothing has come from it.
I mean her, the kids, some friends and their kids and yes HIM. Yes the kids think of it as home and there is nothing wrong with it. I will fight her on it if I don’t think it’s in the kids best interests to sell it which, from what she tells me, she is not even thinking about that.
Yes she has said that she wants and needs freedom to do what she wants with her life and she wants the responsibility of the house and kids. She also says she doesn’t want to be tied down yet she is open to a relationship.
Her parents don’t like me because I wasn’t good with the kids but now I have changed. They just refuse to see it and are stuck in the past.
Things feel like they have taken a backward step. They are away on a camping trip for 6 nights. Tomorrow they come back. She is planning on selling the house later this year but we both own it so I’m not going to let her because she is only doing it because she doesn’t want to own it with me.
I stayed up there for a week and the first few days went well. We talked, teased, got milkshakes and helped her out a lot. It felt like we were finally reconnecting. Then I found out that she didn’t want me there after a few days. Then she tells me that she has no romantic feelings for me. Her behavior and what she says are contradictory. I think she is under pressure from her parents who don’t like me.
I feel like I have to fight just to get back to where I was only a few months ago.
Reading your recent posts I see my story. She is seeing a new guy but the way she is talking about her and the kids and spending time with them it sounds like there is not much happening between them. Sometimes she indicates that their relationship isn’t going anywhere and other times it is. We have done things together like walking the dog, going into town shopping and enjoying milkshakes, playing games and her telling me about her struggles and appreciating my help with the house and the kids and just recently she said that she wanted me out of the house after a few days but too polite to say so.
It sounds like they don’t know what they want. The only thing we can do is to keep trying.
I don’t think it will. I think she is too caught up in the whirlwind of it. She says that she has a connection with him but I think his health problems will come between them.
Not mental health problems but physical problems. I seriously think it will not last
She found another guy. I know him too. He has had mental health problems in the past.
She said it wasn’t me but she just could no longer be married to me anymore. Her mental health was suffering for years and afterwards she began to improve.
I still hurts but I can understand.
We are finished. We had a productive talk and there is no longer any hope.
I wanted this to be a success story but unfortunately its not.
Thanks for your help everyone.
Well in that conversation she kept calling me a nice guy and she’s ready to connect aka date again. Clearly she is not meaning me. I will let her do that and she will find that there are not men like me. I will still be on friendly terms but I won’t actively pursue her. I just can’t hold out hope for something that might not even happen.
In New Zealand we have to be legally separated for two years before we can divorce.
I just called her and it was definitely not the right time. She had just woken up from a nap and was about to leave to pick up our girl from preschool but we still had a little chat.
I asked her if I could call her later before she goes to work. She asked me if there was anything specific that I wanted to talk about and I said that I just wanted to talk. She then said that she needs space this week because she has a full week of work and she will be tired for most of it plus she has the kids and her mum there. So told her that I understood.
She didn’t say that she does not want to talk just not this week. Next week will be quieter for her.
